What are the funny and humorous jokes?

1. A patient who had an operation for the first time said to the doctor worriedly: "I am very scared. This is my first time having an operation." The doctor said that I was even more afraid: "This is also my first time. One operation."

2. Xiao Ming saw a lump of poop on the ground and went up to smell it, which seemed to be poop. He pressed a little bit with his hand and put it in his mouth. It seemed like it was still poop. He said happily: "Fortunately, I didn't step on it."

3. The centipede was bitten by a snake and was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. After diagnosis, the doctor said: The limb must be amputated to prevent the spread of the poison! The centipede thought: Fortunately I have many legs! The doctor comforted him: Brother, be considerate, you will be an earthworm from now on.

4. Wife: "Why do you always go to the balcony every time I sing?" Husband: "I want everyone to know that I am not hitting you."

5. The patient is worried about his head. After the X-ray examination, he asked the doctor: "Is there anything in my brain?" Doctor: "Nothing." Patient: "Ah, is it really that serious?"

6. Crossing the road When we encountered a red light, my friend wanted to move forward, so I stopped him: "Light, wait for the light, wait for the light!" My friend turned around and said to me disdainfully: "You are the only one who has Intel!"

7. Young doctor: I will open my business tomorrow. Can you teach me some experience? Middle-aged doctor: The bills should be written more clearly, while the prescriptions should be written more sloppily.

8. Female: Tomorrow is my birthday, what gift do you want to give me? Man: Same as last year. Woman: What did you give me last year? Man: Same as the year before. Woman: What did you give me as a gift the year before last? Man: I didn’t know you the year before last, so I didn’t give you anything.

9. When chatting with a classmate who works in a foreign company, she said that there are many foreigners in the company. I asked her: Have you taught them to speak Chinese? Her: Of course, the first sentence I teach is: I pay the bill!

10. Do you know what is the most painful thing about your day at work? It’s just that I haven’t finished my work after get off work. The most painful thing is: I haven’t finished my work before I get off work. The most painful thing is: I can’t make a living when I go to work, but how can I make a living after get off work?