Selected Wang Zijian jokes _ Wang Zijian jokes highlights.

Wang Zijian, the host of post-8s talk show, shows young people's attitudes and thoughts on social hotspots, cultural events and fashion trends with humor and depth. Below I will share with you some of Wang Zijian's classic jokes.

a selection of Wang Zijian's classic jokes

1. To be honest, China's culture is profound, and we will learn a lot of pretentious and useful things at an early age, which are called idioms. What? Why do men have no wives? ，? A childlike innocence? ，? In the foreseeable future? . This shows that, why bother, Tong Sou and Yao Yao are both single, because they have no wives. Right? This shows that we in China have had the habit of this festival from a long time ago, and it is called Singles Day.

2. Actually, bachelors are not only boys, but also some girls. Now they are called female bachelors, right? I met a little girl who was a bachelor, and no one really wanted her. In the end, I had no choice, so I advised her, and I said no, so go to religion. Why? What about after you believe in religion? You'll have a Lord.

3. As a married person, I always think that the setting of Singles' Day is unreasonable, because in my eyes, bachelors have festivals every day, so why let them have a Singles' Day is unreasonable.

4. Today, on Father's Day, I said that I was working in Shanghai and couldn't go back to Beijing. I said to call my dad and wish him a happy Father's Day. Call:? Happy Father's Day, Dad. ? My dad said:? You too. ? I said:? Dad, happy Father's Day, that is, father's holiday and father's happiness. ? Yes, you, not your father. Do you have any hope this year? There is no hope. Is there any hope for next year? There's no hope. What about the year after next? Hey hey hey? .。 Then I'm not happy. ?

5. An immature man and an immature woman are doomed to be a farce; An immature woman and a mature man may be a serious drama; A mature woman and a mature man are a comedy; An immature man and a mature woman? That's the rich woman!

6. I remember when my parents beat me when I was a child, there would be the following conversation:

Scenario 1:? Do you know what the mistake is?

　? I don't know ...

　? I don't know what is wrong! ?

smack.

scenario 2:? Do you know what the mistake is?

　? Know! ?

　? Know and commit! ?

smack.

scenario 3:? Do you know what the mistake is?

　? ...?

a slap in the face ...? Say it or not, don't say it or I won't kill you! ?

7. I remember that one day in summer, it was raining heavily. She gave me a beautiful paper box. I rushed home to protect it with my body. When I opened it, I saw an umbrella! ! !

8. I can't stand my foodie girlfriend any more. She broke my little walnut bracelet and ate it.

9. My buddy likes a girl. Finally, once he confessed to her in front of the whole class with flowers, the girl was ashamed to ask why you like me. The buddy said: Although you are not very beautiful, you have a bad temper, your grades are not very good, you are not very outstanding at school, and you even belong to a girl in the lower middle class, but I have a strange feeling when I see you, I think this is

? You are blind! ? The girl smashed the flowers and turned away. Wang Zijian's jokes are popular

1. No matter who you hurt or who you are hurt by, we should try our best to tolerate others. When you hurt others, you have a great obligation to say something to each other? Excuse me? When the other person tolerates you, he must say something? It doesn't matter? . Of course, not everyone in this world is so open, and not every sentence? Excuse me? Can you change back to one sentence? It doesn't matter? But say every word? Your uncle? , will be able to return a sentence? You ~ ~ uncle? !

2. An immature man and an immature woman are doomed to be a farce; An immature woman and a mature man may be a serious drama; A mature woman and a mature man are a comedy; An immature man and a mature woman? That's the rich woman!

3. In fact, ordinary people don't want anything, just want to live the same life as employees of state-owned enterprises. If I were in a ravine, I wouldn't be wronged if I endured it all my life. You said that I was living in a village in Beijing, so I wouldn't be wronged. I am a native of Erlian, a pure Beijinger. Now I live in Huilongguan. I drive home every day and sing "Bell and Drum Tower": My home is just inside the Sixth Ring Road. ?

4. Xu Qiang's girlfriend is a little red riding hood, because her grandmother was eaten by a wolf?

5. There is no immortal paladin as long as he is willing to open his skills and take the mixture.

6. In the past, 4 (Lin Chi-ling) was a big drum, but this year, it has changed.

7. Crosstalk can be divided into disc version and gun version. This is the gun version, because we have laughter here.

8. Now all girls in their twenties marry old men in their forties and fifties. What shall we do? We'll wait until we're 4 or 5 before marrying someone in their twenties.

9. My nose is stuffy and I can't hear clearly.

1. Three customs live in the hearts of three common people forever.

11. I have always said that jokes are loser's games. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! There are beautiful women to see, who will tell jokes!

12. Earning money to sell cabbage, with the heart of selling white powder. Refers to his own cross talk industry

13, hahaha, I can't guess.

14. When you see that person, you will become a fool, afraid to look directly, and can only observe silently. When you see that person, you will become dumb, and if you ask in your heart, you can't say anything. Seeing that man will turn into a grain of sand. At the mercy of the wind, lingering to the end of the world. Seeing that man, he is a policeman, I cried and said, give me a break this time! I don't see the yellow light? I am blind!

15. As for the new the legendary swordsman, I can only say that there is a hammer called Yue Buqun, a tragedy called Ning Zhongze, a sin called Lin Pingzhi, a melon called Yue Lingshan, a guardian called Yilin, a mistress called Ren Yingying, a promiscuity called Ling Huchong and a love called Dong Fangbubai!

16. I have a friend named Wang Jianguo. Last night, he went to a restaurant for dinner alone, but the food made him very dissatisfied. Say to the waiter: How come your food tastes so bad! Call your manager. ? Waiter:? I'm sorry! Our manager went to the restaurant across the street for lunch and hasn't come back yet! !

17. I just walked past my colleague and saw a few yellow things in his cup dotted with red wolfberry. I asked him inexplicably: What is it? A:? Coffee. ? I was struck by thunder: Do you put wolfberry in your coffee? He replied very seriously:? The combination of Chinese and western medicine has good curative effect. ? .

18. I beat whoever provoked me in the United States, and I scolded whoever provoked me-we protested strongly-I still don't know where it hurts when you protested against him.

19. Why do Russians like to do business with us? Because there are people from the northeast, they don't like to bargain. If they do business with Wenzhou people, Jews can pay for it? Wenzhou people are the pride of China.

2, once I saw Maserati in the street, and it was painted matt. Boy, stop next to me and wait for the red light. I thought, don't you have to stop, too? The girl in the car was pretty, so I said hello: Hey-hey-hey! ? You're sick! What are you doing? The girl answered. ? The back door was not closed. I pretended to remind people. ? Our two cars! ? Then make a quarrel:? Excuse me, excuse me, is this car expensive? How much did it cost? You can't afford it anyway! ? I can't afford it! I just asked you how much you paid for it. Everyone donated it! ?

21. I always thought that the rain in Beijing was instigated by foreign anti-China forces to attack the municipal construction of our capital. Such people with ulterior motives, let them play tricks on them! What happened to Beijing's municipal construction? Is it not just a rain? Make it look like Venice for us. We're still beautiful. It's a water town and a country. A foreign friend happened to come to Beijing a few days ago. I showed him around. My friend said, Oh, this Haidian District lives up to its reputation!