Chengdu: The only thing I can’t take away is you

1.

On the day when 2017 had just arrived, Zhao Lei stepped onto the stage of "Singer", still looking like a young boy, plucking the strings calmly. A song "Chengdu" passed through the hall, melting into a drop of clear tears in the heart of every listener.

This year, Cong Sen, a senior, passed through big and small cities and finally returned to Chengdu. He looked at Zhao Lei on the computer and burst into tears.

The gift of the changing years - favorite singers no longer have to live in poverty, and Cong Sen can also share his coveted songs with strangers from all over the country. But he still misses that humble concert a few years ago and her beside him.

That time was already as far back as 2013. Cong Sen became a senior high school student step by step, watching the "college entrance examination" getting closer and closer with great fanfare. Just like in the movie, the girl I like is sitting in front of my seat. She is thin and tall, and has the most beautiful name, Chen Jiashu.

In October, Cong Sen took advantage of the math teacher's break in writing on the blackboard to kick Chen Jiashu's chair: "There is Zhao Lei's tour in the tavern tonight, are you leaving?"

"Okay." The girl smiled with almost no hesitation. The air in Chengdu has faded away from the scorching heat, and the sunshine is shining into the classrooms. The neatly arranged tables and chairs are like love letters written in early autumn.

At that time, folk songs seemed niche and alternative. She didn’t even know who Zhao Lei was, but because she believed in his taste, she put aside the label of “good student” without saying a word and spoke openly. He skipped the evening self-study class, shook his trouser legs that were torn by the playground fence, and ran towards Fangqin Street in high spirits.

Perhaps, no one likes a static life, but you will be lucky if you find the person with whom you hit it off and overcome the barriers.

That night, under the cool blue light of the tavern, Zhao Lei, wearing a simple T-shirt, sang one song after another.

"Missing makes people sad/she calls out to your tears/the fruit of the south is ripe/that is the simplest ideal..." When "Southern Girl" finished singing, Cong Sen put a A light kiss was placed on Chen Jiashu's forehead. The girl reached out and took off the boy's baseball cap and put it on her head, as if she was collecting a medal.

At that time, no one knew whether the clear and serious boy on the stage would become a hot star, and no one knew what kind of joys and sorrows the young couple holding hands in the audience would go through. .

2.

Cong Sen and Chen Jiashu, like many high school students, happened to go to the same school, happened to be assigned to the same class, and happened to be the front and back desk. We happen to like each other that way.

Most things in the world are so intricate that if a link is broken, you will never meet the person you worry about in the following days.

In her second year of high school, in the liberal arts department, she sat in front of his seat. When she hung her schoolbag on the back of the chair in the morning, she touched the boy's target and raised a polite smile, gentle and beautiful. .

Cong Sen didn’t believe in love at first sight, but somehow, from then on, he would rush to the classroom early every day, and then pretended to raise his head casually when Chen Jiashu was hanging up his schoolbag, and greedily accepted a whole The warmth of the day.

They are all natives of Chengdu and have fully absorbed the influence of this city. They all have an unhurried and absent-minded temperament. Probably because of "coincidence", boys are gentle and girls are quiet, but deep down they never want to waste their days and have an endless obsession with beautiful things.

It doesn’t take long for similar people to get to know each other. Soon, the smile of greeting extended to the discussion of schoolwork, the sharing of extracurricular books, and even the constant chatting.

When she hums her favorite song, he can easily follow it; when he tells a joke, she always understands and laughs immediately; when she is brewing reasons to refute a certain teacher in her heart, he stands first. She stood up and said the same words; she always gave them the most appropriate and elegant names for the photos and hand-drawn drawings he took in his spare time...

During his cramped youth, he often gave them the most appropriate and elegant names... Being occupied by exams and exercises one after another, everyone was drowning in the torrent, but suddenly someone came with bright clothes and angry horses, chatting about Somerset Maugham and Gu Cheng, philosophy, aesthetics or art, with bright eyebrows and bright eyes.

Who wouldn’t be tempted?

At that age, I may not understand love or tacit understanding. I just feel that we are in tune, and we play together when we are in tune, thinking that it will last forever from now on.

3.

I don’t know when it started, but it became popular among classmates to play the "guessing word" game. In pairs, one writes on the back of the other, and the latter guesses based on their feelings. Content, guess the score correctly. During that time, during the break, a group of people gathered together and started chattering. But unlike most random partners, Cong Sen and Chen Jiashu were already familiar with each other's likes and dislikes. They wrote their favorite words on each other's backs, and the answers were guessed in an instant.

It’s another game, Cong Sen writes and Chen Jiashu guesses. The boy drove away the classmate standing next to him, and wrote one stroke at a time on the girl's pure white school uniform: together.

The girl did not blurt out the answer like before. She drew horizontally and vertically with the pen on the paper, then raised her head and said the answer to the classmates of the "judging panel": OK.

The onlookers were overjoyed, thinking that the ever-victorious pair had finally missed their mark: "We clearly saw that Cong Sen had written many strokes, how could there be only one word 'good'? Even the best partner also failed. It's time!"

"That's right." Cong Sen behind him suddenly spoke, his tone was sincere and serious, with an unquestionable aura.

The school bell rang, and the "enemies" returned defeated. Chen Jiashu turned back with slightly red cheeks and said the "answer" again:

——Okay.

4.

Together naturally.

Although for high school sweethearts, the most daring thing is to walk side by side on the playground, buy double snacks, share their thoughts and secrets, and describe the distant future related to each other... …

The college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, mock tests are becoming more and more frequent, and there are more and more homework. Every weekend, Cong Sen would always make an appointment with Chen Jiashu to do homework in the park, go to the teahouse they thought was the most unique, and make two cups of tureen tea, smelling the moss in the slightly humid air of Chengdu. Hours passed with bluffing.

Everyone knows about teahouses in Chengdu, but not everyone is as inseparable from teahouses as Chengdu people are. Beside Cong Sen and Chen Jiashu, there is always no shortage of leisurely and unrestrained people. Some are holding longjing cups to get distracted, some are flipping through a few pages of yellowed ancient books, some are playing cards and playing hemp in groups, and some are talking about business. match.

In the following years, Cong Senxing traveled to many cities, but found that only Chengdu was so lively and lively, and only in Chengdu could people use such fireworks in the streets. Make peace with life, make peace with yourself.

In early spring, Cong Sen once again made an appointment with Chen Jiashu. The sun shone through the gaps in the green leaves on the open exercise book, and the spent time slowly turned into poetry.

Not far away, several old people were sitting under a tree drinking tea. The sudden agitation distracted the two high school students from their homework - it was just an insect the size of a coin emerging from the tree. The fall broke the lazy afternoon and attracted the attention of several white-haired old men. The old people looked at the big insect that "appeared out of the sky" and smiled. Only an old woman in a blue dress got up and squatted next to the insect. Then she raised her head like a child, pursed her lips, squinted her eyes, and looked at it with a smile. To my wife sitting next to me.

The old man also smiled, showing his jagged teeth. He shakily took out a pack of cigarettes from his trouser pocket, shook out the remaining cigarettes shakily, and then handed the empty cigarette box to Old woman: Just pick it up if you like it!

Chen Jiashu suddenly smiled: "What a wonderful love."

Cong Sen also smiled and held the girl's hand.

It was the first time that two people intertwined their fingers. The gentle breeze blew by, and they suddenly realized that they had captured the best time.

5.

One holiday morning, Cong Sen woke up from his sleep and looked at the time through the lights outside the window, which was six o'clock. The sound of mahjong tiles being shuffled could be heard from the house next door. It seemed like they were staying up all night again.

It seems that every child in Chengdu has grown up with this kind of messy sound. Over time, it has become a sound that gives people a sense of security.

Spring is a good time to sleep. Cong Sen was about to turn over and continue sleeping, but he vaguely heard someone calling his name softly. He opened the window and looked down, and it turned out to be Chen Jiashu.

The sun rises late in the west, and most people have not gotten up yet. The girl lowered her voice and shouted her lover's name, waving several colorful letters in her hand. In the dim morning light, it was beautiful and picturesque.

Cong Sen put on his clothes and rushed downstairs. With sleepy eyes, he saw clearly that in Chen Jiashu's hand was the Xue Tao note that the two brought back when they visited Xue Tao's tomb in Wangjianglou Park the day before. He had Xue Tao's talent. The girl spent the whole night transcribing love words on it. She couldn't wait for dawn, so she ran downstairs with big dark circles under her eyes and handed it to him personally.

He held her in his arms.

The viburnum trees beside the street were flourishing under the street lights. Cong Sen thought that one day, he would be like the Emperor of Shu, planting hibiscus all over the place for his beloved, making her world " Forty miles are beautiful."

The ten pages of Xue Tao's papers in different colors were taken from the drawer to the cabinet by Cong Sen, and he took the folder from the ancient book. No matter where he put it, he felt that it was not solemn enough. No matter where he put it, he was afraid that his happiness would be stolen. disturb. Finally, I put it in my most commonly used notebook, stuffed it into my schoolbag, and take it with me at all times.

After that, the two people wrote small notes on Xue Tao paper. How much they love this thin piece of paper, secretly feeling that only this is worthy of the best love.

I never expected that all the changes would come from this.

"Hongyan Chuan Shu" was accidentally seen by the dean from the window. It was at the juncture of the school's "severe crackdown on early love", and they undoubtedly became "models". Being suspended from class, being talked to, being asked to find parents, being asked to write a self-criticism...

When I was a teenager, my mind was still childish. Cong Sen looked at Chen Jiashu with bright eyes and said, "How can there be the most precious love that does not go through hardships?" The girl was moved but said nothing.

She knew that because of the fragility and sensitivity of girls, the leading teachers always criticized boys more. Coupled with family pressure, Cong Sen's life was not easy.

Cong Sen grew up in a single-parent family. His father married another man, but his mother did not remarry because of him. He is his mother's only and greatest expectation. She wants him to follow the established route and not allow any mistakes.

Outside the door of the director's office, Chen Jiashu saw the single mother slapping Cong Sen in the face without changing her expression, and also saw the stern and proud woman crying after her son left. makeup.

The girl sat empty on the stone steps downstairs, like a lost child.

6.

Chen Jiashu always believes that the right love must be positive. She never doubts that her existence will bring good luck and positive energy to Cong Sen’s future, but she At the same time, it is certain that in the present moment, it can only bring stress and distress.

Time moves forward. When people are at a loss, they love to leave everything to time.

However, Cong Sen did not expect that the enemy gradually retreated, but his comrades started killing each other——

She sometimes arbitrarily rejected his philosophical thinking: "This is not speculation; Pure random thoughts.”

She sometimes throws away the hand-painted drawings he gave her, claiming that they are beautified lives not worth cherishing.

Sometimes she glanced at the small collection in his hand with disdain: "Even if you read all four classics, how many more points can you get in the college entrance examination? It's no use."

...

Cong Sen didn't know when Chen Jiashu became like this, or maybe it was just that the period of passionate love had passed, and he could see the most trivial truth about each other clearly. He tried to be tolerant, but found that small conflicts could always turn into irreconcilable prejudices, and trivial triggers could lead to disputes that resembled personal attacks.

I thought that their city was impregnable. However, they withstood thousands of troops in the war, but they surrendered in peace.

Finally said goodbye.

Cong Sen moved his desk to the side of the lecture table. When he raised his head, he saw the blackboard. The tall figure in his memory was blurred to the point of being invisible.

The few months before the college entrance examination passed extremely quickly. He eventually went to the far north to study, thousands of miles away from home.

That year, 2014, Zhao Lei wrote a song "Chengdu". In the days to come, the sentence "Chengdu, the only thing I can't take away is you" was swaying, and it hurt so many people when it was sung. heart.

That year, the best-selling writer Da Bing said: "If Zhao Lei is not popular, it will be unbearable."

That year, more and more people were listening to "Chengdu" ", Cong Sen left the city as if he was running away.

During college, Cong Sen traveled to many cities, but found that no McDonald's provided chili buns like Chengdu did, and no one served hot pot while saying "7 up and down". Nowhere is the night full of shouts of "counting lots", and no city is as "Bashi" as Chengdu...

In those years, Cong Sen tried to find a new girlfriend, but failed. Love relationships often end for strange reasons. Those girls are pretty, nice, frank, and sincere, but they don’t have straight backs in white school uniforms, they don’t smile and say hello when passing by the cleaning aunt, they never have the habit of drinking tea, and they never think it’s romantic to write letters on Xue Tao paper.

He finally admitted that the real fatal thing was not the joy and tears of those years, but the details that lingered in his memories. They made him unforgettable and made me obsessed.

Yes, when I left Chengdu, I took away my habits, tastes and memories. The only thing I can’t take away is you.

6.

In his senior year, when he was about to graduate, he gave up the job opportunity in Beijing and returned to his hometown resolutely.

He didn't care that he was a traveler who gave up halfway, he was just happy that he had made up his mind to return to Chengdu.

He returned to the teahouse where he and Chen Jiashu had visited countless times, and never went there again after breaking up. I was surprised to find that in the drawer under each wooden table, there was a Xue Tao note of different colors, with the same content written on it: I want to leave you thousands of times, but I can't do it on my own. So, I have no choice but to try my best to pretend that you hate me, and then cruelly watch you escape from my world. However, the storm passed, but you did not return.

The owner of the teahouse said that the girl with the ponytail came to replace the letterhead every year, but never changed the content. The boss stretched out his hand and counted, "It's already the fourth year."

"In novels, an encounter is often carefully planned, why would you personally direct the separation." Cong Sen said to himself. Only then did he realize that the previous dispute was just something she deliberately did for what she thought would be a proper ending. She loved him too much, so she understood him too well, knew how to make him happy, and even more so, how to irritate him.

But what Cong Sen didn’t know was that she had never regretted it, but when she tried to save it at all costs, she saw him holding the strange girl’s shoulder and walking together. on the passing path.

That was his cousin, she didn't know. At that moment, her head was filled with fairy tales that were not sweet: the mermaid princess had her tongue cut off and lost her beautiful voice. She could only watch the prince fall in love with someone else. But if one day, she would tell the truth , will the prince abandon the princess and be with her? She can only turn into bubbles, and no one in this world can respond to her love.

This feeling is like a fire burning down an old house where he has lived for a long time. The floor is covered with debris, dust and despair. Chen Jiashu knows that it was once his home, but he can never go back.

From now on, there is only the teahouse from back then, used to hold all the misses and regrets.

He looked for traces of her again, going around in circles, and saw hundreds of Weibo pictures: one by one, Xue Tao's notes, one by one, waiting for her return. Only the latest one is all the fragments of letterheads and a photo of intertwined fingers...

- He is a late returnee, and she is a passerby who has lost her soul.

That year, 2016.

Zhao Lei toured Chengdu again. In the past few days, Cong Sen has been to Midi, Strawberry, and many concerts, but there is no longer that "Southern girl" around him.

On the stage, Zhao Lei is still the same as before. After traveling for several years in the world, he is still a young man when he returns. On the stage, the cold light shines down, and the sentence "Chengdu, the only thing I can't take away is you" sings all the heartbeats and coincidences of youth.