Short humorous cross talk dialogue

Shanxi Jiaxin (Cao and Liu edition)

Cao: This cross talk show is one after another

Liu: Yes

Cao: Crosstalk is the art of language, and Chinese language is broad and profound

Liu: That’s right

Cao: Every word has its meaning

Liu: Oh?

Cao: Don’t say a word, even a punctuation mark. If you don’t pay attention, you will make a joke.

Liu: Really?

Cao: Hey, let’s take our family as an example.

Liu: What’s wrong?

Cao: I have a friend from Shanxi who grew up in the mountains. He has never studied, is not educated, and is illiterate.

We are in our thirties and almost forty. I personally can call him the second brother.

Call him the second brother.

One time he invited me to dinner

Liu: Yeah

Cao: It’s scheduled to arrive at 11:30 noon

Liu: Oh

Cao: I went home then, and he also invited a guest

Liu: Oh

Cao: But he didn’t come at twelve o’clock

p>

Liu: Yo

Cao: He was anxious, so he drew a note

Liu: No, why are you drawing later

Cao: Because he can’t write

Liu; Oh

Cao: So I drew a note

Liu: I can only draw

Cao: When I look at the painting, what is it? I drew a little man with his arms folded, one hand covering his mouth and the other covering his buttocks. I don’t understand what this means?

Liu: It’s quite strange

Cao: He folded it and sent the child at the door to the old man in the front yard to deliver it to the man who lived not far away

Let's live in the front yard and send it off. After a while, the child came back and no one brought him.

A note and I saw what it was painted on. It was also a painting, a bird cage and a bird cage. There's a tortoise inside

This tortoise's head is outside the birdcage and his body is in the birdcage

When he looks at it, okay, let's not wait for him. Let's eat. I said Don't, don't introduce, don't introduce me, say me

You still don't understand what it means

Liu: Yes

Cao: You just drew a little human cat What does it mean to cover your waist with one hand covering your mouth and the other covering your butt?

Ah

Liu: What are you doing?

Cao: Hi, I told him to invite him in the afternoon Eat

Liu: Hi

Cao: Oh, cover your butt. It’s afternoon. Then he drew a bird cage with a tortoise’s brain inside.

The bag is in the bird cage. What's the point of leaning outside to hide the bastard in the bird cage?

Liu: Yeah

Cao: He told me that I probably wouldn't be able to get out (Both Cao and Liu touched their chins for mercy) )

Oh, can’t Gaier come out? High-tech stuff

Liu: The background of a spy

Cao: Oh, let’s eat, eat, drink, drink, and have three rounds of food and five flavors. I told my second brother that I can’t accompany you next week< /p>

Drinking

Liu: What's the matter

Cao: Next week I will go to Taiyuan, Shanxi to perform. Your hometown is also Taiyuan. If you need anything, I can go home

If you want to bring something with you, please give me the things you brought with you and I will help you bring your second brother. This is so happy, so great

Okay, when you arrive in Taiyuan, you look for the sour old man’s dried apricots in the Xingdian Village. The sour old man in the village is my father

Dear, please help me bring something. What should I bring? Bring a letter and five hundred yuan for a letter

Five hundred yuan Isn’t that all there is to it? Give me five hundred yuan for a letter. I’ll give you everything

I received everything in a short sentence and said that I had to get on the train and go to Taiyuan for a performance

< p>Liu: Let’s go

Cao: We got on the train (sigh) I didn’t bring a game console either

Liu: Why did I bring that?

Cao: I didn’t bring a book, it was a long journey, I had no intention of sleeping, what do you think I was doing?

(An audience member from the audience shouted: Open the letter)

Cao: Bosom friend, this is a bosom friend (Mei panics) Let me open the letter and take a look

Liu: No no You know, don't be so beautiful later, it's immoral, you know?

Cao: I know

Liu: I know it, but I still open it

Cao: Do ??you care? I opened it and you believed it, I opened it and you believed it

Liu: No

Cao: I would like you to take care of anything if I have you. Do you take care of it? Do you take care of it?

Liu: Nonsense

Cao: No matter what your business

Liu: No matter

Cao: Just watch and watch. I was so happy when I took it out (opening the letter with strokes)

Liu: What's wrong

Cao: Drawed another picture

Liu: What's wrong All paintings?

<

p>Cao: Oh, I painted a picture, it’s very lively

Liu: What’s there?

Cao: There are seven camels painted here

< p>Liu: Camel?

Cao: Do ??you know the camel?

Liu: Do you know the camel?

Cao: (gesturing seven camels with your hands)

Liu: I Tell me, can you please don’t draw out all seven later?

Cao: On the side where I drew seven camels, I drew a big tree. On the fork of the tree, two flies fell on the bottom of the tree< /p>

There are four bastards lying down, two wine bottles standing next to them, and an egg next to them (impatient). What is this?

I don’t understand. Fold it and put it in an envelope. Let’s take a nap. It’s time to arrive in Taiyuan

After the performance at Ben Theater in Taiyuan, I turned around and walked around the area

Liu: Have fun

Cao: Buy some What kind of local products, right?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Souvenirs are nothing more than tobacco and alcohol.

Liu: That’s right

Cao: I'm used to drinking wine from other places in Beijing. I don't like drinking wine from other places. Why don't I buy some cigarettes?

Liu: Alas, this business

Cao: Let me take a look at the local cigarettes. Alas, Yantan is in Shanxi. How much are famous cigarettes? One hundred yuan a piece

(Hesitation) If it’s cheaper, it’s only one hundred yuan a piece. If you buy it, you can buy it or not.

Liu: No counter-offer

Cao: It’s not expensive to buy one. Come on. Bring the cigarettes. I remembered. I came over here.

It’s business.

Liu: What's going on

Cao: I'm going to my second brother's house to deliver something

Liu: Oh, yes

Cao: Isn't that right? Mr. Sour of Xinggan Village

p>

Liu: That’s right

Cao: It’s easy to find it if you look for it

Liu: It’s easy to find

Cao: Take a look at this I walked to the door and clicked the door to collect firewood

Liu: No need to pull it now. You can knock on the door

Cao: Making trouble, right?

< p>Liu: No

Cao: Knock on the door

Liu: Just don’t use that bang

Cao: Knock on the door

Cao: Knock on the door

Knock on the door

Liu: Are you bothering? There is a doorbell, why are you knocking?

Cao: Let me try and see if it works

Liu: Run here It’s time to play

Cao: The door opened and there stood an old man in his late sixties. Standing here, I said you are the sour man of Xinggan Village

Are you the master to me? Mr. Sour (Shanxi dialect) I feel so sour when I hear your taste. I said your son

Let me bring you something. My son, what do you want you to bring me? Come on, come on, come on, come on

Come on

Liu: Come in the house

Cao: Come in the house My son asked you to bring me something. Hey Your son, let me bring you one

There are four hundred yuan in it

Liu: No, you said the wrong five hundred yuan later

Cao: Four hundred

Liu: No, you just said it was five hundred

Cao: I said what I said

Liu: Not here There's a difference of one hundred yuan

Cao: Just buying cigarettes with nonsense

Liu: What about using other people's money to buy cigarettes?

Cao: I will try for him whether it is good or bad.

Liu: Do people use you?

Cao: Do ??you care? I’ve taken your money. I’ve taken your money. What’s the matter with you? You’re always fighting against injustice. What’s the matter with you?

What’s the matter with you?

Liu: Why are you babbling like this? It's none of my business

Cao: A letter costs four hundred yuan

Liu: Yes

Cao: Hand it over The old man took the letter, opened it, looked at me, looked at the letter, looked at the letter, looked at me

What is your relationship with my son? —— Nodding acquaintance

Liu: No, you can just talk to your brothers.

Cao: (shaking his head) You can't talk about this matter to your brothers

Liu: What?

<

p>Cao: Brother, you stole 100 yuan from someone to buy cigarettes. It shows our quality. Do you know?

Liu: (angrily) Your character is not good enough

Cao: Don’t worry about just saying that and being an acquaintance

Liu: Look Look at this

Cao: The old man saw something wrong with me when he read the letter. You and my son are brothers (question) How did you know? ——The letter

is clearly written. (Question) Where is it written?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Look, there are seven camels painted on this letter. We Shanxi people have rules for calling camels

Liu: What rules?

Cao: Five is a consistent, six is ??a string, seven is a gang, eight is a gang. The seven camels painted on it mean one

So it means you My son and I are brothers

Liu: Oh

Cao: Both of us co-authors are camels

Liu: Hey, I didn’t say that

Cao: I want to use this 100 yuan to solve the case

Liu: I think it’s doubtful

Cao: We have to grit our teeth. My son asked you to give it to me. How much money do you bring (be careful) - four hundred

Liu: That’s empty

Cao: (read the letter) No! yeah! ! ! (Shaking hands)

Liu: Can you not be nervous?

Cao: It’s okay to dig through the baggage

Liu: Hey, don’t bother me

Cao: It’s four hundred—no, five hundred—where it’s written. It says five hundred

Liu: Yes

Cao: The letter is clearly written (pretend to be horizontal) and it is written everywhere

Liu: Let’s talk about it again

Cao: We have to pretend to be cool

Liu: Oh

Cao: Look at the words on this letter There are two flies on the fork of a big tree. We Shanxi people do not care whether they are called flies or not

Liu: What are they called?

Cao: What are they called? Fly

Liu: Fly?

Cao: The money we spend on flies is also called silver

Liu: Oh

Cao: Look at this painting of two flies landing on the fork of a tree. Above, this is my son telling me that I have enough money

(speaking and gesticulating)

Liu: (thought for a long time) Wow! How amazing!

Cao: Is it written five hundred? ——That’s four hundred

Liu: Yes!

Cao: That's four hundred, that's four hundred - then look at the four bastards honking under the tree and two wine pots standing four eight

Thirty-two, two, nine, one, eight, fifty ——That’s also fifty, that’s also fifty, but it doesn’t say five hundred

(pretending to be horizontal)——There’s an egg next to it!

Liu: Hi!

(Laughter in the audience!!!)

Cao: (Question) Are you from Earth?

Liu: It’s really amazing

Cao: Is the way of communication very special? (Be honest) Uncle, let’s be honest. I spent 100 yuan to buy cigarettes.

Liu: Tell the truth

Cao: It doesn’t matter. Money is something outside the body

Liu: Let’s see

Cao: If you wait, let’s go. I said I’ll leave tomorrow. Then you can come over to my house in the evening and help me bring something.

I said yes. Don't worry. Just to be brief, I came home again tonight. The old man took out two envelopes.

Here, help me. This big one is for my son. This small one is for your sister-in-law. Your second brother's

Liu: Oh

Cao: I said okay, leave it to me. Don't worry - don't open it and look at it. I said no, no. I said there's no money here

right? ——No, I can’t give you money because of your character.

Liu: Drink~!

(Continuing to laugh...)

Liu: That's right

Cao: (Sorry) It's boring if you do this Bar

Liu: It’s quite interesting

Cao: This makes me feel embarrassed (covering my face)

Liu: You still want shame?

Cao: I took my things and got on the train back to Beijing. I got on the train and was so annoyed

Liu: Yes

Cao: I didn’t bring a game console either.

Liu: Oh

(A group of people in the audience shouted: Open the letter!!!)

Cao: There are more and more close friends

Liu: Oops, you’re about to learn bad things

Cao: Let me open the letter and see if they have learned bad things from me

Liu: Almost

Cao: I'll open the letter and take a look

Liu: Let's open it

Cao: I'll open the big one first. (Sound of opening letter) Take the letter out and take a look. This letter is interesting!

Liu: What’s wrong?

Cao: It’s still a painting

Liu: What’s there?

Cao: It’s a painting of two buckets. The buckets are placed with the bottom facing up. There are two flies falling on the bucket. I

I don’t want to ask about the money here

Liu: Yes, there is money

Cao: We have money. I know this, his father told me once

Liu: Yes

Cao: Looking further to the side, a big circle is drawn, and a small circle is drawn inside the big circle. There is a firecracker set off

The firecracker set off during the New Year is a small circle with a silkworm chrysalis placed outside the layer

Liu: I know, I know

Cao : Cocoon

Liu: Can be used to make silk thread

Cao: Alas, I don’t know what it means to make silk thread (question) Fold it and put it in an envelope

p>

Take this small thing apart

Liu: You have to take a look

Cao: Open it and take a look, wow!

Liu: What do you mean?

Cao: It’s so interesting

Liu: Yes

Cao: It’s so fun

Liu: Tell me

p>

Cao: The lively painting of two pigeons, one duck, two pigeons, one duck, four pigeons and two ducks

There is a big pigeon painted on the side of the letter. There was a knife curled up on the elephant's trunk, and the tip of the knife was pierced into the neck of a goose

The goose was stabbed to death and the goose's neck was bleeding

Liu: Ouch

p>

Cao: At the bottom of the letter, there is a lotus root drawn, which is broken but the thread is still connected. There is also a small piece of charcoal and a small one is drawn at the bottom

The person has a small crew cut and wears a The man in the black coat held a hundred dollars in one hand and a cigarette in the other (speaking

while gesticulating)

(The audience burst into laughter~!! The sound continued)

p>

Cao: (gesturing stupidly, looking at Liu Yuntian) It seems like there is me?

Liu: (too happy) There must be you!

Cao: I don’t understand what this means. I put it in an envelope and waited without sleeping. I just followed here and waited.

Liu: Well, why don’t you just do this?

< p>Cao: I arrived in Beijing in a while. I didn’t even go back home when I came out of Beijing. I went directly to my second brother

Liu: Oh

Cao: I Second brother, I'll take the things over. Thank you. Thank you. I opened the drawer, put it in the drawer, and closed it.

Okay, let's go - don't bother me. Don't leave. Open it up and take a look - don't bother us. What do you read in the letter from home?

——I am there (gesturing excitedly) I am there, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really there, I am really there

Liu: It’s revealed

< p>Cao: It's unlikely that you will be there - don't talk nonsense, just take it apart and take a look - OK, I'll take it apart, but don't tell outsiders

First take apart this big one and open it. Take a look - so much gold, I have to make friends like you

Liu: What's going on

Cao: What's going on? You brought me the money - where is it written? Here you look at the two buckets painted on the bucket

There are two flies falling on the bucket. We Shanxi people don’t call these flies flies, they call them flies - I know the flowers

Money is also called silver - oh, you all know this. We don’t call this bucket a bucket.

Liu: It’s called a bucket.

What?

Cao: It’s called Shuishiao

Liu: Oh

Cao: Look at these two buckets being held together, which means Shuiziao fell over. It’s just one sentence connected with this fly

Liu: How do you say it?

Cao: The silver has been delivered

Liu: Very good

Cao: The water has been brought down, just put it aside, OK, I said that the big circle is like What does that small circle mean?

Liu: Huh?

Cao: The big circle is a rice bowl and the small circle is a tea bowl. I said there is a firecracker in the big circle and a cocoon in the small circle. What does this mean?——My father thought I think about it over tea and rice every day - when there is a firecracker, it goes off during the meal

Your family is too scary

Liu: Awesome (thumbs out)

Cao: Oh, OK, OK, OK, I understand. He folded it and put it in the envelope. OK, OK, let’s go——

Don’t leave, mainly read that envelope (said excitedly)

Liu: This is the key

Cao: Don’t read that letter if it’s from me - not my wife - no, no, I have to read it, I have to read it

Okay, don't tell outsiders. I opened the letter and the second brother burst into tears - why did the second brother cry?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Look, there are two pictures on it. One pigeon, one duck, two pigeons, one duck. This is your sister-in-law calling me: Brother

Brother, brother, brother

Liu: Hi, this is really beyond words

Cao: (Speechless) There’s no need to cry when I call you—just look at the letter. There’s an elephant’s trunk painted on it

The tip of a knife is curled on it. Pricked a goose in the neck and killed the goose. The goose's neck was bleeding

The blood was a sentence

Liu: How to say it

Cao: Brother, brother, you want to kill me (silly), like killing a goose?

Liu: What the hell do you think?

Cao: I said this is a drawing of a lotus root that has been cut off, but the thread is still connected, and there is a small section of charcoal. What does that mean?

——Your sister-in-law misses me every day!

Liu: So insightful!

Cao: I said there is a little man drawn underneath, with a small crew cut and a black coat. This hand is holding a hundred yuan.

This hand is holding a cigarette. What do you mean?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Hi, forget it. My son doesn’t learn well and stole a hundred yuan from me to buy cigarettes————Me!

(The two came off the stage and bowed)

Crosstalk script:

Can you take a look at some crosstalk scripts

/html/zhcl /index.htm