I just had my second child and had an abortion. I deeply regret and feel pain. What should I do?

After reading the test strips, my first reaction was not surprise, but a cold sweat all over my body. . . Suddenly, many practical problems that I had not considered carefully before came to me:

First, the difficult years of getting Dabao seemed to reappear before me. I thought that without anyone's help, I had a big belly. In the future, I will take Dabao to and from kindergarten, carry the little one to and from school, and the older one will make a fuss while the younger one makes a fuss... I am about to collapse. If someone helps me look after Dabao, I will have the courage to take it back again.

Secondly, I am afraid that it is my son. I am afraid to death. I saw many real-life examples around me of two sons becoming indifferent when they grew up, and sisters-in-law becoming enemies of each other, and I felt extremely scared. The two sisters also have a bad relationship. Only then did I realize that having a second child is a luxury. Unless the family is extremely wealthy and can take care of the two children and grow up to have a big business, the probability of both of them becoming successful through hard work in a family like ours is relatively small, and with limited resources, if both Need, really afraid of a fight.

Third, if I have no money and have one more child, I think it will cost about 2,000 a month before I go to elementary school. My family basically has no money left. Not to mention which children are attending interest classes and traveling together, even if they get sick or have disasters, I'm afraid they won't be able to afford the medical expenses. My husband is even more stressed. He cannot go to work without any mistakes or fall ill. So scary.

Fourth, no one cares. When she learned that I was pregnant, my mother scolded me first, saying that so many things in the family were directed at me, the only daughter, and she would still have to give birth in the second half of the year. Hospitalization for treatment. . I'm actually pregnant at this time... My stepfather has nothing to say.

My mother-in-law never called me when she found out she was pregnant, let alone bought me anything. No intention of helping. . Chilling. .

Fifth, if you imagine that one person is taking care of the little one, he will leave the big treasure aside, which is a pity for him. He is about to enter elementary school, and the first few years are the critical stage for cultivating children's learning habits. The gain outweighs the loss. . . .

Sixth, thinking nonsense, fearing that the children may not grow up harmoniously, thinking about the many siblings in the parents-in-law family who become enemies and shirk the responsibility for providing for the elderly. . I also recalled many times when I was a child and my family was not alone. When the eldest son grew up, the old man still worked hard to take care of the second child. After taking care of the second child, I looked after the children one by one. I think their parents are miserable. The children are all average and don't have much potential.

Seventh, I am still thinking nonsense. I feel that the people who persuaded me to have a second child are laughing, laughing that I have been fooled. They are talking about it. What does it have to do with them that I am suffering and tired now? ? Are you still waiting to see the joke about me worrying about giving birth to two sons?

I fell into endless fear and entanglement. . . . I was more than 40 days pregnant, and I couldn't sleep well at night. I felt uncomfortable. Discuss it with your husband. My husband said he didn’t want it, but if he wanted it, he wouldn’t fight. I said I was afraid, and it’s not like you are raising a child. You know that the child cannot be returned after it comes out, and it will be tied up for life. You know how hard it is to be pregnant and have a baby. My husband asked me, do we want both boys and girls? I said that I was afraid that it would be a boy. I loved the boy I already had, but I could not guarantee that I would love the next boy as much. Moreover, with two boys, we would really suffer when we grow old. My husband asked me again why I wanted to have a child. I said I was afraid that the child would be lonely and that no one would be around when he gets old.

My husband said, you are too utilitarian, you don’t love this child very much, you are taking advantage of him in every way. If you are so entangled and uncomfortable, this child will not grow up well.

So, while it was still the golden period for abortion, I quickly went to the hospital to have it done. I felt like all my worries were over. No, this is where the suffering begins.