Please help me find a short English essay, preferably a joke

Goethe's Tolerance

Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.

Goethe's tolerance

Once, Goethe was walking on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. It happened that he met a critic who was hostile to him. They both stopped and looked at each other. Then the critic said: "I never give way to a fool." "But I do." After speaking, Goethe stepped aside.

Blind Date

Blind date (joke)

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

After spending a night with his blind date, the man couldn't stand it anymore. He arranged for a friend to call him in advance so that he could excuse himself and leave first. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a gloomy expression, and said, "There is sad news, my grandfather has just passed away.

"Thank God!" His date said, "If your grandfather doesn't die, my grandfather will die!" "

St Peter's question St Peter's question

Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, " The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".

Three people died, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer. When they came to St. Peter, he told them that if they wanted to enter heaven, each of them had to answer a question. St. Peter looked at the doctor and started to ask, "There was a movie in the cinema before. What's the name of the movie about a ship that hits an iceberg and sinks? "The doctor replied, "<>", and the doctor was immediately allowed to enter heaven. Then St. Peter looked at the accountant and said, "How many people died on the ship?" ". The accountant was lucky because he had just seen the movie and replied, "1500 people killed. "St. Peter also put the accountant into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned around, looked at the lawyer, and asked in a very serious tone of command, "Tell me the names of all 1,500 people? ”

Great Event for Lincoln’s Birthday

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willie: Abraham Lincoln was born

Teacher: Correct. So what important events happened in 1812?

Little Willie: Abraham Lincoln passed him. ’s third birthday.

The Mean Man's Party

The Mean Man's Party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

< p> "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

A notorious cheapskate finally decided to treat himself to a treat. When explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said: "You go up to the fifth floor and use your elbow to ring the doorbell. When the door opens, use your feet to push the door open."

"Why should I use my elbows and feet?"

"Oh my God!" replied the miser, "You didn't come here empty-handed, did you?"