Classic funny jokes

1, I don't want to follow the rules, I want to resign! So I went into the boss's office and said loudly, "I have something to say!" " I've been in jail for a long time! "As a result, he hugged me and said," Don't say anything. It's been five years. Come and be the boss's wife. "

2. Just after dinner, there was a couple sitting opposite the roadside shop, and the girl got up and went out after eating. The boy pulled the plate and ate the leftovers without saying a word, and instantly felt full of love. After a while, the girl came back with a bottle of drink, looked at the clean plate and said to the boy, damn it, you robbed me of my meal before I finished eating.

In the face of everyone's puzzled eyes, he cried with injustice: you only saw my well-dressed side, but you didn't know how difficult it was for me to come out step by step. Several migrant workers didn't listen to his explanation and shouted: Don't drop your schoolbag for us. The cement road we just smoothed has trampled so many holes in you. What did you say?/Sorry?

I made an appointment with my girlfriend to meet at the station, but I couldn't find her when I arrived. I called her and said there was a cyclist next to her, and then I looked around. Where can I find a cyclist here? Finally, I found her, and she pointed to a child pushing a stroller and said to me, is this wrong?

5. Wife: Blow out the candles! Me: Can I make a wish and blow again? Wife: What are you talking about? Me: Next birthday, I hope my wife will put a cake for me under the candle!

6. Dress up as an empress or a fairy with sheets, and quit after the age of six. Well, I played mahjong for four people at home alone. I have lines, and we can still talk. Finally, we quarreled. In a rage, damn it, I smashed the mahjong table myself!

7. I remember when I was a child, there was a kind of earth wall in the village. My friends all kicked it with their feet, and it was all crumbling. At that time, I saw too many ironworkers and directly hit my head. As a result, the wall fell down and people woke up in the hospital!

8. Going to the barber's tonight, the barber brother asked me what hairstyle to cut. I said how to cut it as handsome as possible. The barber brother stood behind me for more than ten minutes, not knowing how to start.

9. When my daughter-in-law opened a shop, one day my 5-year-old son came to the shop to play, and the weather changed in the afternoon. The proprietress of the shop next door said it was going to rain. The son replied, you are God, and it rains when you say it rains! Laughing us to death!

10 "Hans, why did you quit your job in the munitions factory?" "They calculate too accurately. Last time I loaded gunpowder, it exploded. I flew in the air before I fell, but the factory deducted my bonus and said I wouldn't work in the air for six seconds. "

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12, three cowards walk at night. A asked B, "Are you afraid of ghosts?" B said, "I'm afraid." A asked C, "Are you afraid of ghosts?" C also said, "I'm afraid." A said, "It doesn't matter, I'm not afraid. One of you walks in front of me, the other walks behind me, and I will protect you both in the middle! "

13, once two cousins went to buy train tickets, and the girl who sold the tickets said that there were only standing tickets and asked if they wanted them. The boss took the sentence and gave us two tickets next to each other. The little girl said that she was standing at the second child's place, and then came back with a sentence and stood by the window ~ well, the little girl who sold the ticket cried! !

14, ex-boyfriend used to be funny. Once I heard a beautiful song on the road. He said it was really beautiful, but I don't know the name. I said that WeChat will be known by shaking it. He was particularly surprised: didn't WeChat shake people nearby? He is thoughtful, ah, I see, you shake people around, then add him to WeChat, play this song to him, and ask him what song is right? I laughed to death.

15, waiting for my friend at the airport, a couple came by and sat next to me. This woman has big breasts and tattoos on her chest. She is wearing a skirt. After a while, the woman still took pictures of the man and began to stand. Later, she squatted down in front of me. I just want to say: white!

16, in the evening, my wife said to her husband: Dear, don't go to the beer hall today! I am so lonely at home alone. I understand, Eliza. However, if I stay at home, then we will both be lonely.

17, there is a lazy person who is too lazy to be surprised. My wife wants to shave noodles and let him borrow panels from his neighbor's house. He said, "if you don't borrow it, cut it on my back!" " "His wife finished cutting noodles on his back and asked him," Does it hurt? "He said," it hurts, and I'm too lazy to say anything. "

18, Grandpa celebrated his 70th birthday today, and all the villagers came to congratulate him. An uncle who has always had a bad relationship with my family said, congratulations, I hope to attend your 80th birthday ... Grandpa said it seriously for a long time, young man, you are in good health, you will have a chance, don't be afraid. ...

19. Walking in the community, I saw a little girl of five or six years old who was very cute, so I squatted on the ground and made faces at her to tease her. However, after teasing for a long time, the little girl was still indifferent. She felt very embarrassed and got up and walked away. Just a few steps later, I heard the little girl and her children say, "This psycho scared me to death."

20. Do you know? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of KTV! Do you know what KTV is? Then k stands for you, t stands for you, and finally I'll make a V gesture!

2 1, I was watching TV at home with my date during the holiday, and that guy suddenly said to me, honey, can we never be apart in this life? I was moved to nod, only to see that she took a pear from behind and chewed it herself. The first time she was paralyzed, she said that eating alone was so sensational, and life was all routine!

22. Because I am timid, I have slept with my sister since I was a child. My sister got married today, so I can only sleep by myself. I can't help crying. My sister cried when she saw me crying. Sister, don't cry. My sister will accompany you in the future, and your brother-in-law will take care of you for a long time.

23. Every time my husband and cousin's children come home, there are a lot of disasters. Oil hands felt everywhere, furniture, sofas, telephones, tables and chairs, and things were pulled all over the house. Every time I clean the house, I really don't like it, but I feel like a child, but I still can't control my anger every time. Is it too narrow-minded?

At a big family gathering, my sister-in-law who just got her driver's license offered to drive to go shopping. Not long after the holiday car went out, she regretted it. There is a crossroads that she can't cross. Sister-in-law got off and ran to the side of the road and asked the traffic police to help her drive to the parking line and take a taxi home. The family went out to eat.

25. A net bug asked his wife to make a good wish at her birthday party. When she saw the net worm, her hands closed. Close your eyes and say, "I hope my face becomes like a computer screen and my body becomes like a mouse ..."

26. Husband and friends go to dinner, and there is no room. They waited in the car because it was very hot. Ten minutes later, the store greeted them for dinner, and they all entered the store. After dinner, I can't find my car keys. As soon as I pulled the door, it opened! What's even more amazing is that the car didn't even go out! This heart is as big as it is!

27, watching TV on the sofa, my wife came over with a big bottle of coke and asked me to help unscrew it. I screwed it for a long time, but it didn't come off. My wife looked disgusted: I'll go to Mr. Wang next door for help! After a few minutes, I heard my wife calling: push, push! I burst out laughing. Didn't he twist for a long time?

28. Chen cursor: With 200,000 yuan in cash, 2 million yuan in check, 120 people and 60 sets of construction machinery, he traveled day and night from Jiangsu and Anhui, and arrived at the disaster area almost at the same time as the army, becoming the first non-governmental team to reach the earthquake-stricken area spontaneously.

29. Dad was watching TV while smoking in the living room. He saw me coming back and handed me one. I just lit a cigarette when my father suddenly took a photo and sent it to a circle of friends: my son smoked at home, making the room smell of smoke and angry. Then he said to me: Your mother will be off work soon, and the smell of smoke at home will not go away for a while. Run!

Although success is equal to one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. But this one percent inspiration is ten thousand times more important than this ninety-nine perspiration. Newton can relate apples to gravity. And you are the apple in the sky that killed you, and you just died unsatisfied.

3 1, Boyfriend: My dog bit the creditor today, and I took it to the vet station. Girlfriend: Want to kill it? Boyfriend: No, I want to sharpen its teeth.

32. I had a fight with my classmates and made an appointment. The other party found a dozen people, so I had to call my brother. My brother drove a broken car and got off to find each other. Two slaps, one foot falls. Then he came up to me and said, damn it, you're looking for so many people. I said, no, he found all this. Then my brother turned blue.

33. I confessed to my female classmate in the evening, and she implicitly agreed. When we went shopping together, I got up the courage to hold her hand, and she was a little embarrassed. To ease the embarrassment, I said, "Holding your hand is like holding a dog." Then, no then. ...

34. I watched the children sleep during the noon nap today. They all seemed to be asleep, so I went out to get something. When I came back, I heard a voice. When I walked by, all the talking children pretended to be asleep. I said to a talkative child, "XX, are you asleep?" The lovely child who spoke nodded.

I received a strange phone call today. A sweet voice on the other end of the phone asked, "hello, sir!" I'm China Mobile. Do you need broadband? " Me: "Ah! Wait, I said sister paper, isn't the mobile phone number 10086? How to use electrical signals? " Guess what she said: "it's like you have a wife but you still have to pick up girls!" " "I was speechless.

36. I thought I did poorly in math when I was a child, but I was very inspirational. I sat on a small bench and watched how steel was tempered on the balcony. Suddenly my dad appeared and shouted, "You study hard at math and you won't be able to make steel in the future. It doesn't matter how the fucking steel is made! ! "

37. A 60-year-old rich bachelor fell in love with a much younger woman. He went to consult Voltaire, a French satirist. "I want to marry her, but I'm afraid telling her my real age will disappoint her and refuse to marry me. So I want to tell her that I am only 50 years old ... ""That can't be done! " Voltaire replied, "You should tell her that you are 70 years old."

38. The teacher handed out the paper: "Pork belly! Pork belly! " The whole class laughed. The teacher said, "Who didn't get the paper?" A student stood up. Teacher: "What's your name?" The student said, "My name is Zhu Yuepo.

39. In high school, many brothers drank too much and went to karaoke bars. Xueyou and Jiaju were popular at that time. A brother ordered the love of a tracker. Before BS, this product was already singing loudly: Big waves on my sister's chest! Brother has a long snake in his crotch! Brother wants to take off his sister layer by layer. . Laughing and spitting, the girl at the next table hurried to check out. . The boss has a black face.

40. often play with your girlfriend: female: do you want to face it? Me: How much is a catty? Woman: 200. Just give me 400. Me: I can't afford it. Give me half a catty cheaper. Woman: It can be counted as 300. Shit, I still can't afford it. I just don't want it.

4 1, a certain unit conducted a military exercise, and everything went as planned, but there was something wrong with the artillery, and a shell missed. The troops immediately sent troops to investigate. This situation was found in a vegetable field. I saw a man lying beside a vegetable field and said, * * is really amazing now. I took two cabbages and peeled them.

42. My mother: "Son, haven't you met anyone yet?" Me: "Yes." Mom: "That warm man is very popular now. Many girls like that type, and you are also developing in that direction. " Me: "How can I develop like this?" Mom: "Come on, put on these long pants first!" " "

Recently, female friends have often harassed male passengers on Jinan buses in the past two days. As a just person, I can't ignore it. I resolutely quit my job in Shanghai and went straight to the incident. I want to come forward and have something to do with me. Leave those innocent male passengers alone!

44. At the station (there are people who sell scratch music), you often meet old people who beg for money. When I first arrived at the station, I didn't know. She asked us for money, but she didn't give it. Later, I saw her ask someone else for money and then use it to buy scratch music. Hehe, is this really good? Good thing I didn't give it. It's really a pit. It's all routine.

45. Recently, there was a video of a Land Rover hitting a Jaguar. Land Rover crashes and leaves safely. I heard the truth is like this! Xiamen Land Rover told Jaguar owners to move their cars, but Jaguar didn't come for more than an hour. Finally, I was told on the phone that I was so slow, so wait slowly and bump out if you can. Then this sentence was recorded by the Land Rover owner, and the recording was taken to the police for the record, knocking him down in front of * * and driving away!

46. I am often asked: Are you all right? You look tired. You look suspicious. Are you angry? Are you sick? I replied in a unified way: I look like this.

47. An old man who told fortune in a street stall was robbed of more than 1000 threads by a passenger riding a motorcycle. He cried bitterly and called 1 10. The onlookers jokingly asked, master, can't it be a horse? Why did you call the police? The fortune teller replied painfully that the secret should not be revealed. What a pity!

48. In Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences with "one two". A: During military training, the instructor shouted, one two one, one two one. B: Mathematics is exquisite. One and two equals two, and two equals four. Xiaoming: There are one or two Chinese teachers in our class. Teacher: Get out …

49. The marriage counselor asked the couple to list all kinds of things that upset them on paper. Ten minutes later, the husband raised his hand and said, "I can't write." "That's good!" The wife said, "Marriage shouldn't be too critical of each other, right?" "There is not enough paper to write!"

50. Today, I saw an advertisement posted by a matchmaking agency, "As long as 280, my girlfriend will take it home!" I was so excited that I went in and paid the membership fee. The boss took out an inflatable doll and said to me, "Now you can take her back and do whatever you want!" " I slapped the table angrily: "You are totally cheating! And this glue is not very good! It is easy to leak! "

5 1. After drinking, I rode an electric car home alone. On the way, he met the traffic police to check the drunk driving, so he had to blow it. The traffic police said: "The battery car doesn't need to blow, so hurry back." The man rode away on a battery car. After 10 minutes, he drove back and got off the bus and said, "Now I can blow!" " "It turned out that he was really drunk, this guy, really drunk!

52. Today, I am really embarrassed. When I was eating after work, I saw a man who looked like a high school classmate. I'm afraid to admit my mistake, but it's very similar! Finally, I got up the courage to ask, "Are you Jiannan?" "You are the fucking man!" Almost didn't fight.

Me: "What would you do if there was 1000 in front of you on the road?" Roommate: "I picked it up and ran back to give you 500 yuan." Me: "You are really my good brother!" " "Roommate:" If someone calls the police for you, I'll let you out first. "Me:" Nima. "

54. One summer evening when I was a child, LZ went to the river to take a bath alone. When he first got into the water, he found that several people were washing not far downstream, so he swam downstream. When he approached, he showed his skills and threw himself into it. I almost choked to death when I came out of the water, glistening big boobs, a group of old ladies! I was so scared that I crawled ashore, grabbed Tintin and ran wildly. There was a wave of laughter behind me!

55. When learning a driver's license, I just got on the road and met a red light. At the same time, my sister's driving reaction was a little slow. In order to stop the car, she tactfully took out the car keys!

56. I just went to the store to buy things, and my wallet was put in the storage bag behind the seat back. I took it out without looking. Can you think of a handsome guy with a wallet and sanitary napkins stuck to it? I also called the proprietress to give me money. They are all acquaintances. How can there be cracks, old face, where to put it? The key is that many female compatriots are here!

57. Professor Emerson was invited to give a speech at the Celestial Sports Camp. When the bus arrived in front of the camp, he saw a sign hanging on the door, "Please do as the Romans do, so as not to be embarrassed". So he stopped the car and took off his shirt. Unexpectedly, when he entered the camp, he found that the campers lined up to welcome him as a sign of respect, and everyone was neatly dressed.

58. My three-year-old son came back from kindergarten and said angrily to me, "Dad, the teacher is not good at all. He is always mean to me and doesn't pat me to sleep at noon. " Me: "A teacher can't take care of so many people like a mother. You should be obedient. " Son: "Let the teacher and mother change. My mother accompanies me in kindergarten every day, and the teacher sleeps with my father at home. " I'm a little excited to think about it.

59. I want to test the limit of doing sit-ups, so I laid the groundwork and started doing it! Not at 500! ! Yes, you all guessed wrong, not because you are too tired, but because your tailbone hurts too much! I woke up and found out, damn it! A layer of skin has fallen off!

60. My friend invited me to dinner. I feel that my friend is too slow to pay when I check out. Me: Why don't I pay? Friend: That's really embarrassing! Me: Nothing. . . Then I put my hand into my friend's pocket.

6 1, at night, my son sat in a chair and said he didn't have good friends to play with, so I said, let your father give you a brother, okay? My son said no, and he touched Tintin and lay on my body, saying that only in this way can we have children! Shit, who taught my son that? Come out, I promise I won't hurt you!

62. I just went to the market to buy a fish after work at noon. The proprietress called and said that she had something urgent to go on a business trip this afternoon. Told me to get the information ready and send it to her home. When I got home, I put the fish in the living room. She is packing on the second floor. I went upstairs to help for a while and suddenly remembered my fish. Just ask: proprietress, is there a cat down there? The proprietress said angrily, I hate it. I'll know when I'm on a business trip

63. Today, a buddy's wife gave birth and called me to give good news. I was just about to ask him, "Is it a boy or a girl?" As a result, the brain asked him, "Whose is it?" Now this guy has to do a paternity test, and his wife won't live or die. I think it's best to stand by and keep silent.

64. My three-year-old sister refused to eat. My grandmother said she was finished and would take her to the zoo tomorrow. I really don't like her bullying children like this. Just say, we don't have a zoo here, and then the whole family gave me a dirty look. I was wrong.

65. When I was a child, I saw my brother masturbate. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was practicing martial arts. I will never forget that on the first day of primary school, the teacher asked us who could practice martial arts, so I went up.

66. I went to the seaside today, and now I show off in an ostentatious manner on the reef. Fortunately, my foot slipped and I didn't fall. Unfortunately, my mobile phone fell on the rocks. Fortunately, when I picked it up, the screen of the mobile phone was not broken. More unfortunately, my whole screen fell off and I was separated from my mobile phone.

67.LZ is running a business. Send a card to the internet cafe today. As a result, I met an uncle watching a small movie When I sent it there, two people next to me looked at me. That look, man, don't hold back, don't hold back your smile, or I'll bite the bullet and send it to that uncle The key is that LZ is a sister, which is embarrassing! Decisiveness has disappeared.

68. A classmate struggled for a long time to be friendly with women. After writing the ninety-ninth letter, the female classmate wrote back a letter, which read: 6 1 and nothing else. The student was puzzled and thought repeatedly, so he asked the love expert in our dormitory for advice. Experts explained: 6 1 was written by a female student in the music department, and its meaning was sought by its sound name. It's time for students to read, but understand its meaning: pull-down-!

69. During the Chinese New Year, everyone has dinner together. My grandfather farted a long time. I can't help laughing, but why am I the only one laughing and everyone else is calm? I can only endure it alive. Since then, I have learned to keep calm when I hear or see embarrassing things.

70.a: "What is your ideal in life?" B: "I want to make a very idle duck egg, and I want to be rich." A: "Oh, you have to pickle it first."

7 1. On the bus today, a big brother's feet really stink. I looked at him, and he even wore a mask. Does he know that his smelly feet will make others want to vomit?

72. I went to get water at work today and saw my colleague watching an interesting cartoon. I ran to see it. He thought it was the leader, immediately closed the page, found it was me, and then opened it to watch with me. We are talking about that photo. As a result, the leader really came over. Am I framed?

73. Today, a boss called me to the office and suddenly asked me, "Do you think people can come back from the dead?" I thought he was out of his mind, so I smiled and said, "Huh? How is that possible? There is no such thing in the world. How can you ask me such a low-level question? " The boss slapped the table angrily and roared, "Then you asked for leave yesterday and said you would go back to your grandfather's funeral. Why did he come to your company after you left? "

74. The poisoning incident at Fudan University in Shanghai caused panic. A sister said, if you mess with me, I'll poison you. Another sister said that you were not poisoned. The goods smiled insidiously three times: feed you Sudan red and gutter oil in the morning, and feed you lean meat at noon. There is still dead pork at night. You can't die if you don't believe in poison.

75. During World War II, the Germans occupied Paris. Two Nazi officers entered a hotel on the banks of the Seine. The owner of the hotel was a dedicated patriot who hated the Nazis very much. Nazi officers looked around proudly and said, this pigsty! How much is it per night? The boss replied, one pig 100 francs, two pigs 200 francs.

76. When I got home at noon, I felt so hot that I turned on the air conditioner. After driving for a while, I felt cold and turned it off. So I switched the air conditioner back and forth. Finally, simply open all the windows and turn on the air conditioner, and finally feel comfortable. Just lying down, the alarm clock rang and it was time to go to work again!

77. Xiao Mu always goes home after drinking at midnight. When he entered the room, he saw his wife sleeping with Lao Wang next door. He was angry. He caught two dogs and men and women and beat them up. He sobered up a little after being beaten. Look over there, damn it, he entered the wrong door. He quickly apologized to Lao Wang and his wife, saying that drinking AG was the wrong house. Lao Wang grabbed his collar: I can understand your fucking entering the wrong door, but don't you know you don't have a wife?

78. It's raining. If your girlfriend has no umbrella outside, you must get to her as soon as possible. Otherwise, she may go to the nearby shopping mall to take shelter from the rain, and then she may go shopping, and then she may ask you to buy her lipstick, shoes and bags.

79. I said to my girlfriend: If you have children in the future, and you are still so unruly and disobedient, I will live with the children and not want you. Girlfriend: If you dare, I will strangle him. Me. .

80. My father taught me from an early age: How can you sweep the world without sweeping a home? I grew up, and I didn't live up to his old man's expectations. I began to clean the street.

8 1. When I got home, I saw my girlfriend curled up on the sofa. You can see her graceful figure and hear her breathing through her pajamas. I approached her. Close to her chest. Listen carefully to her breathing. I went back to my room silently. Turn on the computer. Gave the seller a bad review: Shit, I just bought it and missed it.

82. Having dinner with little gay friends, she ordered a soup and a dish. Suddenly, she caught a bug from the plate. I'll call the waiter as soon as I see it. She patted me on the shoulder and said, turn around. I said, why? Open your mouth. She asked if it was delicious. What did you give me to eat? She looked at me indignant and meatless. I think it's a little meaty. Don't waste it That's right. If I hadn't been dragged by the people in the shop, she wouldn't have seen the sun tomorrow.

83. I just went to the toilet and spent half an hour playing with my mobile phone. I didn't even know my legs were numb. When I opened the door, I fell straight to the ground. The key is the public toilet. I didn't say the ground was dirty, so many eyes were staring at me. Fortunately, no one knows me. I'll stop talking and go home and take a shower.

84. The supermarket was crowded with people, and suddenly the broadcast sounded: "Which parent lost a 4-year-old boy in a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans, please go to the service desk to claim it immediately." I saw a tired woman next to her immediately said to the man next to her, "Go and buy some food, and someone will look after the children for us."

85. My boyfriend was late for dinner. After sitting down in a hurry, I saw the roast suckling pig in front of me and said happily, fortunately, I sat next to the roast suckling pig. As soon as the words came out, I found a fat lady glaring at each other. He quickly said with a smiling face, I'm sorry, I mean that is ripe.

86. My son is three and a half years old. This is his first time to take a bus. He is very happy and looking forward to it. He refused to get off when he wanted to get off, but he still sat down and couldn't pull it down. He also cried. Suddenly I feel like a peddler of children, and my face is red. Imagination is too rich.

87. A very good buddy got married, and this buddy likes to be funny. Today, he pretended to be deaf, and I didn't seem to respond to anything I said. Later, I stood next to him and whispered, "There is so much water under your daughter-in-law!" My buddy was in a hurry, kicked me cruelly and said to me, "How the fuck do you know?" Me, because I damaged her house.

88. There was an awesome buddy who was bullied by seven or eight people in the street. When this guy left, he shouted, "Don't leave if you can. I'll call someone! " Then the buddy inexplicably found a dozen old men in their sixties and seventies, which scared the boys, let alone start work, and no one dared to approach.

89. I went to eat at noon. At the entrance of the hotel, I saw a monk there, and the package seemed to be sealed. The best part is that Nima drove here. Next to it, a chef said. Monks without a driver's license can't read classics well.

90. At lunch, I heard that there was a murder case in our community the day before yesterday. The reason is that a young man in his twenties hooked up with a landlady in his forties and was discovered by her husband. As a result, the landlady and her son beat someone to death in their own home.

9 1, tell an embarrassing story of a friend, accompany her to a blind date, sit for a few minutes, both sides are uncomfortable, so I made a joke in the middle, the man didn't laugh, my friend smiled, and then the man asked my friend, are you wearing lipstick? The friend said no, the man said, that's good, otherwise the mouth is too big, and how much lipstick is wasted a year.

92. I quarreled with my husband at night. Two people volcano erupted, it's almost seven o'clock. I am anxious: "I don't want to quarrel with you!" " "The husband said," you don't quarrel with me, because you are going to cook! " "

93. I passed a crossroads last night. Many women ask me, handsome, are you asleep? I didn't say anything because I met this for the first time. Now another woman told her that she was scared to death, so I replied, well, scared to death. The woman said again, how did women scare you to death? I was so embarrassed that I replied that I was dizzy.

94. In the whole class, Xiaoming looks the most distinctive, so his friends tease him every day: "Xiaoming, your mother is the most beautiful mother in the world, and your father is the most beautiful father in the world, but why are you so ugly?" Another student replied, "Don't you know the old saying that dragons and phoenixes become auspicious?"

95. I once played by the river with my nearsighted girlfriend. My girlfriend said that she knitted me a nice scarf recently. I asked her what color it was, and she pointed to an object on the side and said, this is the color. When I looked intently, it turned out to be a pile of shit. I fought back my inner excitement. After returning, I fainted for seven days and seven nights and decided to break up. I'm afraid there will be more wonderful things in the future, and I won't live!

96, listen to some words spoken by Guangzhou girls! They came to Wuhan to take a taxi and spoke Cantonese in the car. The taxi driver asked them what dialect they spoke, and they said Cantonese. Then the driver said, Oh, I see, it's Vietnamese! Vietnamese! Vietnamese!

97. The wife goes to work and sits in the office. These days, she said that she was too tired from work, and her cervical spine and shoulder blades were sore. She asked me to rub it with safflower oil. For good results, she also asked me to rub it hard. As a result, when she rubbed it, she cried and said it hurt. She grabbed my balls and told me to leave her alone and continue rubbing. I decisively saved my life!

98. After seeing the cars in car home ranging from 500,000 to/kloc-0,000,000, I don't know which one to choose. It's so tangled Car configuration is much better than suv, but I miss suv. Think about it, the life of rich people is also quite tangled, so I feel gratified for those who have no money!