Why should you be sincere when talking to people?

Sincerity means sincerity and credibility. It requires that what the speaker expresses is sincere, sincere and trustworthy.

Zhuangzi said: "Honesty is gold." He believes that the greatest integrity is that you don't need to use gold and jade as a pledge. Confucius also advocated. As the saying goes, there is also a saying that "a promise is a promise, a promise is a promise." If the receiver can treat the receiver honestly, he can contact feelings, win trust, strengthen communication and resolve contradictions. However, boasting, grandiose and noisy, and lip service will only make people feel disgusted, lose trust, and let the desire for communication fail.

Ji, who has been an English translator for the Prime Minister for a long time, believes that Premier Zhou's speech is always the most sincere. He recalled that he had no children for seven years since 1957 got married. Premier Zhou asked the experts to give him a comprehensive examination and comforted him by saying, "Xiao Ji! You have no children, and I have no children. Let's do the revolution together! " Ji was moved to tears. /kloc-One day after Ji worked as an interpreter for Premier Zhou in 0/7, Premier Zhou sincerely said to him, "Xiao Ji, you can't be an interpreter all your life! 40 years old, it's time to change careers! " And let him go to the Foreign Languages Institute to find a successor.

From 65438 to 0973, Ji served as the internal reference of China's liaison office in the United States. Before he left, Premier Zhou invited Han Xu and Ji Gong to lunch, and said, "You also have white hair ..." Although Premier Zhou's words were few, they strongly made people feel his sincerity.

When talking with people, we should not only be honest, but also show respect for each other in the words expressed by the speaker, and pay attention to the recipient and those related to the recipient, and don't speak and act in an insulting, discriminatory or damaging way.

Xu Gan's monograph "Reclusion" in the Han Dynasty put forward: "A gentleman must emphasize words, emphasize words, respect the body, respect the body, and establish a religion." Ge Hong of Jin Dynasty also said: "Hurtful words are like swords and halberds." Everything is complementary. Respect others, others will respect you. As the saying goes, you respect me one foot, and I respect you one foot. That's the truth. If you don't respect others, others won't respect you. As a result, they don't communicate and cooperate with each other, which obviously fails to achieve the purpose of communication.

Xia Yan, a 90-year-old veteran of the literary and art circles, can be said to be a model of respecting people. He felt very uncomfortable before he died. The secretary beside him said, "I'll call the doctor." Just as the secretary opened the door to leave, Xia Yan said with difficulty, "Please don't call." Then he passed out and never woke up. Unexpectedly, this short word of respect became his last words. The reason why he still pays attention to respecting others at this time and wants to correct the mistakes of his secretary is because of the style he has always cultivated and always speaks like this.

This fully embodies his moral integrity and makes people respect this doyen more. Grasping the principle of respect is not only the requirement of speech expression, but also reflects the speaker's character cultivation.

The principle of respect is easy for subordinates to superiors, students to teachers, children to parents and so on. But on the other hand, it is not so easy. Because there is an inequality of status between them. If they are not careful, they will show disrespect. We should take this problem seriously.

As the saying goes: Without rules, there would be no Fiona Fang. The same is true of speaking. If the speaker says whatever he wants, it will bring a lot of trouble in form, and the receiver will not understand, understand or even misunderstand, and the communicative purpose will not be realized.

1. Speak logic.

Logic refers to the laws and forms of human thinking activities. When communicating in words, the speaker must abide by the requirements of logic, otherwise, the purpose of communication cannot be achieved.

Verbal expressions that violate logical rules are mainly manifested in the following points.

(1) is vague. Deliberately speaking is unclear, incomprehensible, and contains elements of gangsters, which makes the listener get to the point or get to the bottom of it. For example, in the Song Dynasty's Biography of Yue Fei, after Yue Fei was killed, "Han Shizhong was unfair, but in fact, it was:' Although Fei Ziyun and Zhang were unknown, their affairs were unwarranted. Shi Zhongya: How can the word' unwarranted' prevail in the world? "Qin Gui killed Yue Fei. In the face of doubt, he could not answer, so he had to prevaricate vaguely." Unnecessary "is a puzzling expression.

(2) Fuzziness. Ambiguity is also called ambiguity, that is, two contradictory aspects of the same thing or question are considered yes orno. If someone has a close friend who is a lawyer, one day he meets his lawyer friend who has been working hard outside and says to him, "Hey, what are you doing all day?" ? In fact, I can't say that the job of lawyer is useless, but I can't say that it is useful. If the defendant is really guilty, no matter how you defend him, he is still guilty; If the defendant himself is innocent, what do you defend for him? "This is the performance of two sides of the same mold. A lawyer's job is either useful or useless. The man thinks both are necessary, so he is wrong.

(3) Words and deeds differ. In other words, it is a set, and what it does is a set that contradicts what it says. In real life, this phenomenon is very common, especially for those with ulterior motives. In order to achieve some ulterior purpose, they often pretend to speak very well to deceive the audience, and then make ugly behavior. So be wary of that kind of boastful and self-proclaimed expression.

(4) the concept of stealing. It is to deliberately change the original concept into a different concept to cause confusion. If the construction worker forgets to wear a safety helmet at work, the security inspector will not allow him to enter the site.

He pointed to a sign hanging on the fence door and said, "According to the regulations, I don't wear a helmet to work."

Look, doesn't it say' Non-staff are not allowed in'? The helmet is of course' non-working'. How to wear it inside? "Here, the concept of" supernumerary personnel "was stolen by this worker.

(5) Confuse concepts. It is to treat different concepts as the same concept, or to confuse the same concept with different meanings. If a student breaks the window glass of the classroom, the teacher will criticize him for not caring for people's property and ask him for compensation. He said: "The people have a share of the property, and I am the people. I smashed my share. Who should I compensate?" Students confuse the use of the concept of "person" in the collective sense with the use in the non-collective sense. "people"

It is a collection of all people, and its nature is not occupied by its constituent molecules (that is, every specific person).

2. Speak according to language rules

Language rules refer to the requirements that speakers must abide by language norms in the process of verbal communication.

Language rules mainly include two aspects.

(1) The sound must be clear and accurate. What the speaker wants to express must be clearly understood, so that people can understand it as soon as they hear it. Only in this way can the expression be effective and the purpose of communication be realized.

Doing the following two aspects well will help to achieve the requirements of clear and accurate pronunciation.

First, it is best not to use dialects when talking to people who are not in the local dialect area.

China has a vast territory, and its dialects vary widely. If they all belong to the northern dialect area, communication is basically no problem, and other areas will be in some trouble, such as Changsha, Nanchang, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Fuzhou, Ningbo and other cities and people in these provinces, and talking to people in other areas will become a big problem. For example, say "Look what this is" in Mandarin. The homonym of Shanghai dialect became "glimpsing a company."

The homonym of Fuzhou dialect has become "women make trouble first." Not only is the pronunciation completely different, but the words used together are also very different, which is how outsiders can understand!

Second, for the pronunciation of some key words, try to speak slowly, quickly and urgently, which will easily cause the voice to vibrate, make the voice vague, make people unable to hear clearly, or cause misunderstanding.

(2) The sentences are clear and clear. Mainly refers to the coordination and accuracy of words, complete meaning, no redundancy, no confusion and so on.

To make the sentence clear, we should pay attention to the following two aspects.

First, don't make words. Creation means making up words that no one understands according to one's own wishes. Although words are constantly enriched and developed in people's communication practice, they should have a certain social foundation and must be used for a period of time before they can be accepted by people in communication areas. This is by no means something that anyone can casually create. Like the "beating people" that has appeared in recent years. People are familiar with "part-time job", "pinch a meal" and "make a lot of money", so it is certainly possible to use it in verbal communication.

But if someone says, "I'm late, I'm really ashamed." It's. Shame "is creation. Why not use popular ones? Sorry or ashamed. Second, it meets the requirements of habit. Habit is a rule and fashion gradually formed by people in long-term social life. Although some of them are not standardized from a logical or grammatical point of view, since they are formed in long-term social life, they should be handled according to established principles. For example, the first meaning of "beating" is to hit an object with hands or instruments-beating people and beating drums; One is the act of negotiating with others-going to court and dealing with others; One is manufacturing-knitting sweaters and sickles; Wait a minute. But "beating", "working", "dozing off", "soy sauce", "discount" and "paddock" have no such meaning. When using these words, it can only be established by convention, and everyone follows the habit. There are also "cleaning", "extinguishing fire", "recovering from illness", "eliminating fatigue" and "basking in the sun".

Due to the differences of countries, nationalities, regions and beliefs, the customary requirements are not consistent. The expresser needs to do as the Romans do and make his words conform to the habits of the receiver, otherwise he will say the wrong thing and make a joke.

An American was invited to a Chinese wedding. He thought the bride was beautiful, so he honestly praised the groom according to American custom and said, "Your wife is really beautiful!" " Based on the modesty habit of China people, the groom quickly said, "Where, where." "Americans were startled. He thought, "What? Do you have to point out where it is beautiful? So he said cautiously, "Eyes. Seeing the groom staring at himself in confusion, he quickly added, "And nose, lips, eyebrows and hair." ..."

Both sides express themselves according to their own habits, but ignore the habits of the recipients. Of course it will make a joke.

Some people are not used to talking to others, and they are restrained when talking to others. They either hold their heads in their hands for a while or cross their arms on their chests from time to time. In fact, this posture is the easiest to show their unnatural mentality. So even if others want to continue talking to them, they should stop talking because they are at a loss, don't know where to put it, and have an unnatural expression. Therefore, when talking with people, you must make your conversation posture behave naturally.

How can I make my conversation posture behave naturally when talking with people? If you want to make your conversation posture look natural when talking to people, you must talk to people with a serious attitude. In addition to the occasion and content of the conversation, you must maintain a good posture when talking to people, because a bad posture is the easiest to show your inner world. Therefore, we must not underestimate the role of posture.

So, what kind of posture can you use to talk to people to make yourself look natural and leave a good impression on them? Don't hold your head in your hands when you are sitting and talking. Correct posture can fully show the naturalness of your conversation. The correct posture should be five fingers together, light or oblique, naturally placed on the legs, giving people a relaxed and easy-going feeling.

Don't put your hands behind your waist when standing and talking to people. This gesture gives people a sense of arrogance.

Crossing your arms on your chest is the most common posture, and many people are used to it. In fact, this posture is not suitable for ordinary conversation. Therefore, when standing and talking to people, pay attention to your fingers flat, gently put them on your legs, and don't use your hands too hard to avoid fatigue. At the same time, it will make people think that you are introverted. You can also hold it lightly and hang it naturally on the side of your leg, just like holding an egg.

You can also hold it diagonally with your hands or put it in front of you, which is more casual and natural. In addition, your legs should be shoulder-width apart. This posture is stable and natural, and it is not easy to feel tired. Of course, you should pay attention to shifting your body's center of gravity to the center of your feet and heels. Only in this way can you make the other person feel relaxed and natural, and at the same time, you will feel relaxed and not tired. When you understand the importance of posture when talking to people, you should always pay attention to it and correct the bad posture when talking to people in the past.