A must-have joke collection at work?

Share some interesting things about the office

(1) Xiangxiang is the receptionist of our company. This girl is lively and has a simple personality. She always speaks directly and without thinking.

One day during lunch time, Xiangxiang saw her favorite fish in my lunch box and shouted excitedly, "Quick, quick, put your bowl in my dish!"< /p>

I was stunned, "Then what should I eat with?"

Everyone laughed at me.

(2) Xin has just graduated from school and is still a little girl. She is a super fan of Zhou Xingchi.

At lunch one day, there were only two of us, eating quietly. Suddenly she raised her head and asked me mysteriously, "Do you know what Dang Dang Dang, Dang Dang Dang is?"

I was confused and thought deeply, "I don't know."

Xin smiled happily. , said loudly to me, "ONLY YOU, OH..." She even excitedly hummed the song (ONLY YOU) from (Westward Journey).

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Some time ago, there were constant anti-Japanese demonstrations on the streets of Shenzhen. Xin was a fervent activist and kept sending me messages on weekend nights to persuade me to participate in the demonstrations. The text messages came one after another, and she was so annoyed that she had to reluctantly agree.

She immediately replied with a text message: "Okay, see you at ten o'clock tomorrow morning at the entrance of the gymnasium. The first sentence of the joint code is: Humans are born by their own mother. The second sentence is: Demons are demons. Mom.”

I wanted to throw the phone away on the spot.

(3) Mugino is from the Northeast. He is funny and very humorous.

Mug Ye wants to save money to buy a house in Shenzhen, so he is very frugal. He and I are in the same department and have a very good relationship with each other.

One day Mugino invited me to his house for dinner. I pretended to refuse, "Don't do it. I'm a good eater and I'm afraid I'll make you poor."

Mugino pondered for a while and then turned around. He cautiously asked me, "Can you drink?"

I shook my head: "I can't drink, it's just a small glass."

Mugino looked excited: "That's not it. Come on, as soon as we arrive at our house, we will drink. If you drink two bottles, you will drink. What else are you going to eat?"

(4) Mugino usually locks the door. Therefore, Mugino usually waits for others to leave before leaving. For this reason, he was often scolded by his girlfriend.

One day, business Xiaoqin and Xin had to work overtime again. Mugino couldn't bear it anymore and begged: "Can you come back tomorrow? If I go back late today, I will have to kneel on the washboard again. "

Xiaoqin said mischievously, "No, I haven't finished a lot of things today. It seems that today will be overdue until nine o'clock!"

Mugino cried bitterly. His eyes were filled with tears, and he turned his grief and anger into strength and clenched his fists: "Okay, you can just beat me to death. If you beat me to death, I won't have to be scolded and kneel on the washboard. Come on, come on, let the storm come even harder." Be fierce! ! ”

(5) Shang Xiaoqin is tall and fat, with a loud voice, and his eyes widen when he is angry, which is scary. The salesmen in the company are all afraid of her.

Hai started to complain again during lunch one day: "Why is that Xiaoqin so fierce? Her voice is so loud that it can shake the ceiling down. It's no wonder she has big shoulders and round waist." Everyone was laughing. During this period, I looked up and saw Xiaoqin standing at the door of the conference room looking angrily at the sea. He winked at Hai quickly. Dahai is worthy of being a businessman, so he understood it and immediately continued in a measured tone: "In fact, Xiaoqin has many advantages. Although it is stronger, it can also be said to be round and round, and its voice is loud, so it can be said to be as loud as a bell. How can it be said? Little girls like you are skinny and have no figure at all, and they speak softly, like mosquitoes."

All the girls fainted, and in the next half month, no one had a period. The sea, including Xiaoqin.

(6) All calls to our company must be transferred through the front desk. Our lunch time is from 12 noon to 1 o'clock, but there are always calls coming in during this time. She was depressed because she had to run to answer the phone halfway through her meal at the front desk.

One day during lunch, the phone rang again. Xiangxiang dropped her half-eaten meal and ran to answer the phone. When she came back, her face was very ugly, and she muttered, "Really, it's meal time." Always bothering people.

”

Mugino suggested seriously to Xiangxiang: “Next time you receive a call during meal time, just tell the other party, ‘You want me to transfer the call for you, right? Okay, you guess me first. Who is it? If you guess it correctly, I will forward it to you. Now the timer starts, one, two, three, please answer the question. ”

(7) Xiao Xiao is an artist in our company. At a young age, he speaks sharply and has a lot of emotions about life.

Only one day at work, Xiao Xiao started to work non-stop

Mugino saw it and asked Xiao Xiao: "Why do you want to sleep just after going to work? Did you commit a crime last night?"

Xiao Xiao retorted: "If I really become a thief, I won't have to go to work. I just need to steal from a large family and I won't have to worry about it for the rest of my life." "

Mugino said seriously: "That's right, you really don't have to worry about being a thief for the rest of your life. People are in prison, so what do you have to worry about? The prison provides food and housing, and the state will pay you back? ”

(8) One day at noon, everyone was discussing how to call each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend.

The result of the discussion was that everyone generally calls each other by their first names or nicknames.< /p>

Only Mugino remained silent and buried his head in eating.

I was surprised: "Why don't you speak today, Mugino? What do you usually call your girlfriend?" "

Mugino was embarrassed: "I can't say. ”

“Just say it, let’s share the good things together. "I used coercion and inducement.

"Then I said, you are not allowed to laugh at me! "

"Okay, okay, I promise not to laugh. ”

Mugino said word for word: “I call her Niangzi, but she calls me husband!” "

The whole audience burst into laughter, and Mugino said aggrievedly: "I knew you would laugh at me, really. You think I am willing? My girlfriend only gave me two titles to choose from, wife and beauty. Choose one of the two. If I call her something else, I will be scolded at worst, and beaten severely at worst. Is it easy for me? "

Everyone laughed even more happily.

Only heard Mugino say again: "Is it that funny? I think it is very good for a lady to marry her husband. It has an ancient atmosphere. I want to open my own company in the future. The girls in the company will all be called "Li, Wang, Tian", and the boys will all be called "Brother Li, Brother Wang, Brother Tian". How can I be happy? ”