Jokes. Very funny joke! The kind that laughs with a stomachache

1, there are wonderful men and women in the school.

It was very cold in winter, so they wore a scarf and went to class side by side.

When going upstairs, the woman's high heels were accidentally kicked out.

2. Classmate A: Have you finished your homework?

Classmate b: hey

Why do you sigh?

I want to discuss it with my teacher. I have saved winter vacation homework. I have feelings. Can I not hand it in?

3. Classmate: Do you have headphones?

Shopkeeper: OK, just a moment, please.

Classmate: If there is no L size, just give me a small size.

Shopkeeper: L code? It means above the left ear.

That year, my classmate and lover went to get a room for Christmas, but they were told that the room was fully booked.

Two people sat on the bench opposite the hotel downstairs, looked at the hotel and said, "Look, the whole building is shaking!" " "

I come home from school at five o'clock. As soon as I got home, I put down my schoolbag and told my parents that I had gone to do my homework.

I closed the door and started chatting with my female classmates. I didn't come out until eight o'clock and had a stretch.

Say to parents: I'm exhausted. I have finished my homework.

Mom said: Whose schoolbag is there on the sofa in the living room? . .

6. I asked my boyfriend, "Do you mind if a boy who chased me before is also in Beijing and wants to have dinner with me?"

Boyfriend: "When have you ever chased you?"

Me: "Sophomore."

Boyfriend: "How much will you weigh?"

Me: "45 kilograms."

Boyfriend: "then you should go quickly, let people forget it quickly and live a good life in the future."

7. Last night, my buddy and I went to KTV. My buddy has money at home and booked three sisters to accompany him. My buddy took a fancy to one and asked: How much is it a night? My elder sister said: Not overnight.

This guy took out his money and started counting, 1000. My sister didn't say anything when she looked at it. 2000, my sister didn't say anything, 3000, 4000.

My sister stood up and said, OK!

At that time, my buddy said: Take out my own money and count it. Take it easy. . .

8. Friend A: Actually, we are no different from historical celebrities. If I had lived thousands of years ago, I might have been a celebrity. Friend B: You are wrong to say so.

A: What's wrong?

B: The apple fell on Newton's head, and Newton discovered the law of universal gravitation; When an apple hits your head, you will only think that the apple is really delicious.

9. Two thieves are communicating. One said, "Stealing a better roof can sell120,000. I think the plane is the most valuable. According to newspaper reports, a plane costs tens of millions. "

The other said, "That guy is so big, how can he steal it?" He just stole it and hid it there. "

The thief said, "You idiot, when the plane flies into the sky, it will only be bigger."