Who has a good joke worth collecting?

It is said that the four men have been on the road to learn from the scriptures for too long. Human science and technology have developed rapidly. There are mobile base stations everywhere in China. One day, they went to a post station and saw the banner "China moves the Shenzhou card while learning from the scriptures". They couldn't resist the temptation, so they sold the Zijin bowl and bought a mobile phone.

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Pig Bajie sent messages to Gao Laozhuang's wife while walking, and at the same time flirted with spider essence and centipede essence.

The Monkey King's hometown is too far away from the mainland, and there is no base station installed. the Monkey King of Huaguoshan can't be contacted, so he is very angry.

No one usually hits Tang Priest, but he keeps bookkeeping on his mobile phone with account books, three steamed buns and two pickles. ...

Friar Sand is quite sophisticated. He photographed the scenery with his mobile phone while walking, and then posted his travel notes online. Earn the manuscript fee at the same time. He hasn't gone halfway to learn from the scriptures. He is already a famous travel writer. ...

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One day, I went to a small demon cave, and the monster came out to rob me. The Monkey King was in no hurry and didn't even bother to mention the stick. He called 1 10 directly, and Brother * * took the monster away. ...

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Three goblins just appeared in the Lion Tuo Cave, and the Monkey King called Tathagata. "Tathagata? Your bird, lion and elephant have all escaped. Take them away quickly, or I'll call the zoo! Sue you for cruelty to animals! ! "

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Tang Priest called Tathagata every day, chattered endlessly, reported the difficulties on the road, and told his men, "Put away your goblins quickly and let Tang Priest go quickly, otherwise complaining once a day will make me sick to death."

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When he arrived at Wuzhuangguan, Zhenyuan Daxian presented ginseng fruit. Pig is very careful this time. He took out his mobile phone and watched it again and again. Daxian was surprised and asked him what he was looking at. Bajie said, "Find an anti-counterfeiting label and make a fake identification call!"

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Four people went to a widow's house for the night and slept soundly in the middle of the night. All four people's mobile phones rang, and a voice rang in unison-"Are you looking for a young lady?" The Monkey King said impatiently, "Mother Lishan, Nanhai Bodhisattva, stop pretending. We will not be fooled. I know your mobile phone number. "

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White turned into a beautiful woman, carrying a basket full of food, trying to lure the four masters and apprentices into being fooled. The Tang priest, who had been silent, burst out laughing and pointed at the woman and said, "She is a demon!" " The Monkey King asked curiously, "Why does Master have a critical eye?" Tang Priest proudly raised his mobile phone and said, "The camera of my mobile phone has infrared perspective function, and 5,200 silver is not white, hehe."

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Pig Bajie peeped at the spider essence in the silk cave to take a bath and was entangled in the demon silk. Bajie, who has always been weak, turned on his mobile phone and rang the insect repellent bell. In the intermittent ultrasonic oscillation wave, the spider essence twitched and rolled its eyes. Pig Bajie came out of the net and said, "Small sample, do you still think you are Spider-Man?"

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When they arrived at Tongtian River, they saw that the river was wide and sad for a while, so they went to Chen Laotou's house for the night. Chen Laotou complained that the monsters in this river wanted to eat their children. The Monkey King was furious and called the China Office for Combating Trafficking in Women and Children. After a long time, the monster hung up the phone ... the four men crossed the river in a huge old turtle. The old turtle had no other requirements, just wanted to know when he could get someone. Pig Bajie usually plays with these gossip things.

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Four people came to a farmer's house for alms. Seeing four people holding mobile phones, all of which are the latest models, the peasant woman said angrily, "Why do you need to beg when you have so much money to buy a mobile phone?" Tang Priest said unhurriedly, "To tell you the truth, elder sister, we are all sent from above to the grassroots for exercise. This mobile phone is treated as a civil servant, not our private one. " When the peasant woman heard "Shangbian", she was so scared that she quickly gave them the rice.

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Tang Priest suspected that the Monkey King spoke ill of Tathagata with his mobile phone, so he drove the Monkey King away. The Monkey King was depressed and went to the Dragon Palace as a guest. The Dragon King saw the Monkey King carrying a mobile phone around his waist. He was envious and wanted to buy one. The Monkey King laughed at him and said, "There is no signal in the water. What is the use of buying it? " After that, he pulled out the golden hoop from his ear and threw it back to the Dragon King, saying, "Since I have a mobile phone, I don't need it, so I'll give it back to you!"

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The ringtone of Tang's monk's mobile phone is a "jackfruit classic", and the alarm clock is the morning bell in his temple that year; The Monkey King's ringtone is "Men should strive for self-improvement", and the alarm clock is the cry of a lark in Huaguoshan that year; Pig Bajie's ringtone is vulgar, "The moon represents my heart", and the alarm clock is shouting "Eat! ! "； Friar Sand's ringtone is an ordinary ringtone, and there is no alarm clock at all-the alarm clocks of the other three people have all rung. Do you still need to set it yourself?

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Tang Priest went to his daughter's country to attend the king's banquet. Knowing that it was a break-in, he arranged in advance when the Monkey King would call him. After three rounds of wine and five flavors of food, the king of the daughter country began to blink. He walked slowly to Tang Yan, just to hook up. Tang Yan's cell phone rang and Tang Yan answered the phone. "Hey, wife, I'm still eating. Go home right away. " After that, the Tang Priest accused him and ran away.

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Liu Er's macaque pretended to be the Monkey King, and two monkeys fell from the sky and hit the ground, turning it upside down. Finally, he arrived at the Jade Emperor Temple. The Jade Emperor ordered him to take a photo with a magic mirror, but he couldn't see it. Two monkeys flew to the Western Heaven and asked if the Tathagata was true or false. Tathagata can't tell. Suddenly, he had a brainwave, picked up his mobile phone and dialed a number. The song "Men should strive for self-improvement" comes from one of the monkeys. The Tathagata was furious and pointed to another monkey and said, "Bad karma! Pretending to be the Monkey King is incomplete. You can't pretend to be the monkey's cell phone number. Take it! " Afterwards, Wukong wrote a thank-you letter to China Mobile.

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The Monkey King was put into a gourd by King Jinjiao, and he could not escape. Suddenly a voice came from the gourd-"I'm an old gentleman, asshole, how dare you pretend to be me with a gourd?" King Jinjiao recognized his master's voice and panicked. He quickly opened the gourd. The Monkey King jumped out and raised his mobile phone and said, "Hey, thank you, Laojun, and invite you to dinner another day."

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When the four of them came to the Flame Mountain and saw a raging fire blocking the road, Wukong asked Leigong Dian Mu to do it, but the fire was no ordinary fire and water could not put it out. Wukong had a brainwave, bought a * * * device, and sent a message to hundreds of thousands of users-"The world's largest gold mine was discovered in Flame Mountain". Then the four of them lay comfortably at the foot of the mountain, eating and drinking, and watched the tens of thousands of contractors who heard the news bulldoze the mountain.

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Finally, they went to the Western Heaven, and the four of them easily sold their weapons. When they arrived at the Dalai Temple in the Western Heaven, they saw a coke machine. Everyone took out their mobile phones and sent a message to this machine, slamming out four cans of coke. Tathagata was jealous when he saw that four people had reached the Western Heaven so easily by mobile phone, and wanted to give them another problem. They sent them a batch of white scriptures. On the way back, I found that the scriptures were fake, so I came back to look for them. Aga waiter wants to blackmail, and the only valuable Zijin bowl has been sold. Waiters want their mobile phones. Unexpectedly, the four people threw the scriptures back to them and said, "Sorry, the scriptures." Pig Bajie sarcastically said to the waiter, "It's all online now. What's the use of taking it?"

Tang Priest said to his mobile phone, "Arlene (king of the daughter country), I am in the Western Heaven. Are you free?" If you are free, send a Boeing 747 to pick me up. "

The Monkey King said to his cell phone, "Monkey 2, have you signed the contract for exporting fruit? (Huaguoshan has connected the phone and started a fruit import and export company) "

Friar Sand said to his mobile phone, "Let's print the first edition for 300,000 yuan, and the royalties will be as usual. (Friar Sand is already a well-known writer in China, with both fame and fortune) "

Pig Bajie said to his mobile phone, "Have Gao Laozhuang and Zhuangzi jointly contracted? Yes, the party's policy is good. I'm going back to open a pig farm. "