a jokeaaa

Hahahahahaha! ! ! ! !

The poster told another funny joke

In return, I will give you some funny jokes

1. A stag, it walks He walked faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway (deer)!!!

2. Two tomatoes were crossing the road, and a car was passing by. One of them couldn't dodge and was crushed. Flat, another tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, ketchup...

3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess, What's wrong?

In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.

4. The stone and the rice cake were fighting. The stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea...

p>

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who were privately committed to life, but the boy had to perform military service, so he made an oath with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later. That ring was used as a wedding ring. After three years, the girl had been waiting for the boy, but could not wait. She was so sad that she threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair and left. However, the boy had also been waiting for him. I was waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, and it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?

Rice cake!!!

5. Are the dumplings boys or girls?

The answer is boys because the dumplings have wrappers

6. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was When the car hit him, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber!!

7. Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he reached out and scratched it. Burned himself to death...

8. Once upon a time there was a bird

He would pass by a cornfield every day

But unfortunately

< p>One day there was a fire in the corn field

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over...

I thought it would be next Snow, it’s so cold...

9. When will Taiwan want to be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

10. Asong and Abo chatted about nothing and told each other that time is not forgiving.

Asong: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing I have ever had was Children's Day."

Abo: "After ten years, it will be Youth Day."

< p>A Song: "In ten years it will be Father's Day."

Abo: "In a few decades it will be Old Man's Day."

A Song: "Again In a few decades."

Abo: "Qingming Festival"

11. Soldiers: "Thirsty...thirst..."

Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on for a while! I have been to this place before, and I remember that there is a plum forest nearby. If you walk for a while, you may be there."

Soldiers: "Oh￣￣￣￣There are plums to eat￣￣ ￣Oh￣￣￣"

Half an hour later - Cao Ren: "Lord! The expedition team found a lot of water sources!"

Cao Cao: "Hahahaha, did you hear that? ? Finally there is water to drink."

Soldiers: "If you don't go...you must find plums..."

14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak We met steak on the street, why didn’t they say hello? (assuming they could talk)

Because………………..

Because……………… …

Because they are not familiar with each other~~~~~~~~

15. Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Press it.

Reason: silence.

16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and then asked him: "Tell me, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you!!!" This A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death...

He said: "I am from the TV University!"

17. A: "I will take you to a place where all girls There was no place to wear a bra.

”

B: “Really?” Where? Take me there quickly! ”

A: “The kindergarten is right next door!” "

18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed an audience member on the spot and asked: "Which female host do you admire most in your mind? The audience said: "It's you." "Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say that? The audience said: "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!" ”

19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

Red, wrong!

It’s white

Don’t believe you Miss Spider Man in English: spider man (a white person)

20. Why did Xiao Ming fall?

Please think twice………… ..

Because the floor is slippery

21. After a party, a group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something. They were too noisy and were beaten out by the clerk. , but the little sheep was left alone in the store, why?

The convenience store is not closed 24 hours a day...

22. The glass and the coffee cup crossed the road together, and suddenly Someone shouted: The car is coming!

The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine.

The coffee cup has ears!

23. A horse said that our company is launching a new product, Ma Pi No. 3, or MP3 for short...

24. There are two types of people I hate the most:

One is race. Discriminatory;

The second is black;

The third is illiterate!

27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who admire me say - even "My idol is called Ying"

He Jie said: "The fans who admire me all say - my idol is Jie"

Zhou Bichang said: "The fans who admire me all say - I "My idol is called Chang"

Li Yuchun said: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!" ”

28.. Five Fuwa dolls gathered together to chat.

Beibei suggested: Let’s give ourselves a nickname, I will call it “Beiva”!

Jingjing: Then my name is "Jingwa"!

Huanhuan: My name is "Huanwa"!

Nini: My name is "Niva" "Okay!

Yingying stood up and said: You guys chat, I have something to do, so I will leave first...

In 2058, the five Fuwa got together to chat again. .

Beibei: Let’s talk about my nickname again. People respect me very much and call me “Master Beibei”!

Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!

Nini: People call me "Niye"!

Yingying: People call me "Yingye"!

Jingjing stood up and said: You guys chat, I have something to do, I have to leave first...

29. The harsh winter has arrived, I decided to keep the habit of taking cold showers, but I As I was washing, I found that I had returned to my childhood appearance! ! !

30. Celery was walking and suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he made a "porphyry" sound. What do you think he pulled out~~? It was Celery excrement (diligence)!! !What color is celery (vegetable) feces?

Answer: yellow

Because: Qin Shi Huang (celery feces yellow)

31. There was a fat man….

Jumping from the top of the 20th floor...

The result became...

Damn fat man!!

32 .Once upon a time there was a piece of bread, and it felt hungry, so it ate it.

Once upon a time, there was a glass of beer, and it felt thirsty, so it drank it.

Once upon a time, there was A virgin, she felt tired, so she fell asleep...

33. Who are human ancestors?

It is peanuts because peanut kernels~~~

34.Which of the ancient figures is considered a white-collar worker?

Meng Mu moved three times (thousands)

35. Zhang Fei: "Don't leave, old thief!"

Yan Yan: "Thief with ring eyes! Dismount and accept Die!"

Police car: "Listen, two thieves~~~You are surrounded~~~ Put down your weapons..."

36. Ants from the Himalayas How did you die after falling?

Answer: Starved to death.

Because it is too light, it takes a long time to float down...

38. A peach was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "My heart is so hard!"

A walnut was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "My face is so thick!"

A Coke can was walking on the road. I felt very bored while walking, and suddenly I said, I feel so coke!

A heater was walking on the road and helped passers-by. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am so enthusiastic!"

A key was walking on the road, and he suddenly said, "I am Qu Yuan!" I will go up and down and ask for a lock!

An electric meter was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am a scholar!" People are searching for him thousands of times!

A tadpole was walking on the road. As he walked, he met another tadpole. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are not QQ!"

A Hawthorn got married and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My face is so red!"

A hawthorn was walking on the road after getting divorced. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My heart is so sad!"

A Hawthorn got remarried and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "I have a baby in my belly!"

A tea bag was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, I really want to be soaked!

I was walking on the road with a stuffed dumpling. As I walked, I suddenly said, I really want to be dumpled!

A lighter was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My stomach is full of anger and I want to get angry!"

A cockroach was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I am strong!"

A thimble was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm thimble!"

An ice cream man was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm cold!"

A spider was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, I still want to crawl on the web!

A fish was walking on the road and suddenly said, "I like diving every day!"

A Guan Yu was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I am riding a thousand miles alone!"

An eagle was walking on the road. As he walked, he met a bear. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are playing the role of eagle and bear!"

A compass was walking on the road. As I walked, I suddenly said, why can’t I find north?

An earthworm was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "Why can't I find my legs?"

39. Once upon a time, Zhang Simmons closed her eyes and meditated, and suddenly felt that something was missing.

While thinking about it, she heard the doorbell ring. When she opened the door, she saw that it was an electric blanket. After returning from the date,

Simmons hugged the electric blanket and said:

Brother~~You are back, I am so cold~~~

< p>40. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine.

The boss is an American. He said to the Germans: "You are in good shape and you are responsible for the coolies."

To the French: "You said you are an engineer and you are responsible for mining." Plan."

To the Japanese, he said: "You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies."

Then the next week, they started to work.

A few days later, the Germans and French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work.

When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:

"Surprise!"

41. There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together. The penguin pulled out the hairs on his body one by one. After pulling out, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!"

The polar bear listened. He pulled out his hair one by one, turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!"

42. There is a hide-and-seek club, and their leader is still Not found...

43. Xiaohong asked: When stirring coffee, do you use your right hand or your left hand

Xiaomei said: Right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are so awesome, you are not afraid of burning, just like me, I even use a spoon.

44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it was cold there...

45. There was no business at a snack bar selling dumplings,

So she went to ask her master what to do. ,

The master said: You have to find a fresh corpse, wrap its meat into dumplings,

and then sell it. Then the business will be very good, but he told them People must not eat this kind of dumplings, otherwise terrible things will happen.

The boss tried it and the effect was really good,

So she went to look for the body again.

The next day her son wanted to bring a lunch box,

but he couldn’t find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look,

and found a lunch box He thought it was his and took it away.

Unexpectedly, the box contained leftover dumplings sold by his father.

He opened it at noon and took a look.

Why did the number of dumplings in the morning turn out to be 5 when there were 10 dumplings in the morning?

He tried closing the lid again and then opening it again, and there were 2 dumplings again!

Do you know why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

. p>

.

.

Because the dumplings are stuck to the lid.

46. A lumberjack applied for a job

Foreman: Go try the forest in front... see how many trees you can saw in one minute...

A minute passed...

Foreman: Wow... 20 trees in one minute... That's amazing... Where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara Forest... …

Foreman: Never heard of it...I have only heard of the Sahara Desert...

Worker: Yes...I changed my name later! < /p>

47. Wife: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Husband: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Shit: I’m so unlucky! As I lay there, I was stepped on by both of you...

48. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life. But the boy had to perform military service, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a life. He gave me a diamond ring and promised to meet the girl three years later. Then, I would use that ring as a wedding ring.

After three years, the boy heard the news of the woman's marriage on the boat returning home. He was so sad that he threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair. Three days later, the boat docked. The boy went to a small restaurant on the street to eat. He was served a fish. He picked up the fish and took a bite. He bit something hard and spit it out. Guess what he saw

Fish bones!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!