Ancient and modern jokes fifth grade primary school

1. A jewelry store was stolen. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunk lying there. In order to find out the whereabouts of the jewels, the police found a bucket of cold water, pushed the drunk's head into the water and asked, "Did you see those jewels?" The drunk opened his misty eyes and said, "Sorry, I really can't find it. You'd better change a diver! " "

2. A gambler took 1000 yuan from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back.

His wife quickly asked, "Did that big bill have a baby?" "Yes, yes," the gambler said sadly, taking out two 10 yuan bills from his pocket. "It's a pity that their mother died."

3. A Moscow citizen lost a parrot-a parrot that can swear. Who knows what will be said outside? The shopkeeper was very nervous. In order to avoid unnecessary trouble, he specially published an advertisement in a prestigious newspaper with a large circulation: "I lost a talking parrot, and I hereby solemnly declare that I disagree with its political views."