Humorous stories, if you please your girlfriend.

Humorous stories, if you please your girlfriend.

Humorous stories when you amuse your girlfriend. Many people like listening to stories. There are many types of stories. Usually, boys can reserve more stories that make their girlfriends happy or some funny and warm-hearted sweet stories. It is also a good way to warm up their feelings. Let's share a humorous story that makes your girlfriend happy.

Humorous stories 1 jokes that make girls happy 1.

1, "I went to see a doctor yesterday."

"oh! What did the doctor say? "

"The doctor said, have you seen enough? ! "

2. The young man asked the Zen master, "I worked hard, but I didn't achieve anything in my career. What should I do? "

The Zen master said, "90 degrees is very hot, but can such a water temperature make the water boil?"

The young man hesitated and said, "I grew up in Lhasa."

Xiaohong said to Xiaoming, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!"

Xiao Ming exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?"

Xiaohong: "Of course! If you don't believe me, go back and ask mom and dad if they are biological! "

4. Girlfriend has poor aesthetic taste in buying clothes. She thinks beautiful clothes are actually ugly.

Because of this, I broke my heart and mouth, and finally wanted to speak. If she had good taste, she wouldn't like me.

A friend planted some garlic seedlings in the dormitory, saying it was to add some greenery to the dormitory. He worked hard for two weeks.

When I was cooking noodles yesterday, I thought it tasted bad, so I pinched two and put them in a bowl.

As a result, when he came back, he cried and insisted that I pay for it.

As for it? I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had raised for two months.

Jokes that amuse girls 2

1, Chu and Han contended and Xiang Yu was besieged. In the camp, he thought about drinking and lamented, "Pulling mountains makes the world angry, but if it is unfavorable, it will not die. What can I do without dying? "

Lyrics desolate and sad, courtier Yu Ji saw her beloved overlord's lamentation that he was flustered because he loved his children deeply, drew his sword and danced, gently singing: "Seventeen-year-old Yu Ji recalled childhood ..."

Er Kang dare not sleep alone. Every time Wei Zi comes back to her house, he can't sleep at night. Once Wei Zi went back, only to find that she didn't hear the news that Er Kang couldn't sleep.

She was puzzled and asked Erkang, "How can you fall asleep this time?"

Sang Kang said shyly, "I'm not afraid to sleep alone. Yongqi is a quilt. I am not afraid. "

3. One day, Nezha met the Monkey King and defiantly said to him, "Yaoyao asked if you dare?"

The Monkey King was shocked: "Love me like you said?"

4. Dayu didn't enter the house for three times, and his wife sang about him at home every day. "Dayu missed those years, and he missed those years of love!"

5, Huang Rong poisoning, itchy all over. Although Hong Qigong could not detoxify, he still used internal force to relieve itching and delay the attack, so that Guo Jing had enough time to ask for help.

Seeing that Huang Rong was in stable condition, Qigong pulled Guo Jing aside and whispered to him, "Although I just held back an itch, but ..."

Guo Jing took the words hesitantly and sang: "Green ... green grass is more fragrant because of you?"

Humor story 2 1, boar and sow if you make your girlfriend happy.

Once upon a time, there were two pigs, a male and a female. The boar always guards the sows at night because he is afraid that his master will pull them out and kill them while they are sleeping. As the days passed, the sows gradually gained weight and the boars became thinner day by day.

One day, the boar suddenly heard the owner discussing with the butcher to kill and sell the growing sow. The boar was extremely sad, so from that day on, the boar's temperament changed greatly. Whenever the owner brings food, the boar always rushes up and eats it completely. After eating well every day, he lay down to sleep and told the sow that it was her turn to keep watch. If he finds out that she is not on duty, he will never talk to her again.

As the days passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her. The sow was disappointed, but the boar lived a stable life as if nothing had happened.

Soon, a month passed, and the owner took the butcher to the pigsty. He found that a month ago, the fat sow had little meat left, but the boar was shining. At this time, the boar ran desperately to attract the owner's attention and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher took the wild boar away.

The moment the pig was dragged out of the pigsty, the boar smiled and said to the sow, "Don't eat so much in the future." The sow was heartbroken and rushed out desperately, but the fence door had been closed by the owner. ......

2. Tofu and twist

Twist is ready to confess to the bean bag, "That ... you are so fat."

Bean bag is unhappy, "Oh."

Twist rubbed his hands and said, "You … you are white … white and fat …"

Bean bag glared at him. "I know!"

Drizzt is a little nervous. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I want to say ...", and Doubao scrambled to say, "You've lost weight! You have lost weight! "

Drizzt scratched his head and whispered, "I mean, you must be easily hugged ..."

3. Giraffe barks

The little giraffe cried, "What can make you grow taller?" She asked.

"Leaves at the top of the tree."

"Can you grow taller?"

"yes."

"Can it grow to the sky?"

"I'm afraid not. Why is it so high? "

"Um ... like ... like stars, want to ... grow tall, want to ... kiss him ..."

Humorous stories 3 humorous jokes that make girlfriends happy 1

1. A mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

A nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient jumped up and shouted, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see that the fish tank is empty? "

2. "You see I am as strong as a bull, because I eat beef every day."

"Really, but I eat fish every day. Why can't I swim now? "

3. Let's chat: Where there is water, there should be fish.

Lao Li: I don't think so. Is there any fish in the open bottle?

4. "section chief, I sent you some fat and big carp."

"Oh, it's the company's rectification. I can't accept this fish."

"Then I'll give it to your wife!"

"I can't control this, she is a mass."

5. "Hey, why did you pour the medicine into the lake?"

"I want to feed the fish some appetizers. The fish here have a bad appetite and don't eat the bait I made with sesame oil. "

6. My classmate is plump and likes singing. He sang Richie Jen's song while washing clothes: "I am a fish ..."

I smiled: "How can there be such a fat fish?"

He said with a straight face, "haven't you seen dolphins?" ! "

7. Sleeping in class: A student sleeps in class and is found by the teacher. Teacher: "Why do you sleep in class?" A student: "I didn't sleep!" " "Teacher:" Then why do you close your eyes? "

A student: "I'm closing my eyes!" " "Teacher:" Then why did you nod? "A student:" What you just said is very reasonable! " "Teacher:" Then why are you drooling? " A student: "teacher, you speak with relish!" "

Humorous jokes that make women happy II

1, wife: "I heard that a beautiful wife gives birth to a handsome son and a handsome husband gives birth to a beautiful daughter. Dear, we ... "

Husband: "Let's adopt one ..."

I am pregnant and went shopping one day. Just walked to the door of the community, my husband called, and when I said to go out to play, I heard a roar on the phone: it's your fault that you go out to play without sleeping at home on such a hot day, and the child is black. ......

My wife is in charge of financial power, and she doesn't give much pocket money every time, so I want to talk to her today.

"Dear, you can give me more pocket money every day. I want to do a good deed every day. "

"hmm? Who is Xing Yishan? How dare you ask me for money for such a thing! "

Xiao Wu came to the unit wrapped in a gauze. Everyone was curious and asked him what was going on. Xiao Liu said: "Last night, he was playing with fireworks with a cigarette, and the fireworks accidentally exploded in the room!" "

"Blow you up like this?" Everyone asked.

"No," Xiao Wu replied gloomily. "My wife called."

I had dinner with my cousin yesterday. My cousin is a doctor. He says his blood pressure and blood sugar are high, so he is not allowed to drink.

Cousin is anxious to say: drink to death!

My wife said simply: If you want to die, die early, while I am still young.

6. "Husband, I have a crush on a bag and think it suits me very well; Seeing it, I feel the feeling of first love, so pure, so pure; Only more than ten thousand, I deserve it ... "

"The subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please stop calling ..."