Go out to play and talk about humorous phrases.

1. Talk about the mood of going out with friends. Original publisher: Li

Talking with friends Part 1: Talking with friends Part 1: Being with your girlfriends will always be youthful and energetic; Putting aside all troubles, happiness is the most important thing; Life will never be lonely with you around. I wish you a happy 3.7 Girls' Day. In the next life, we will be together again. Second, I am responsible for making money to support my family, and you are responsible for being beautiful. I am in charge of fighting for the world, and you are in charge of stealing vegetables and picking flowers. March 8 Women's Day is coming, dear husband, you have worked hard, I wish you a happy holiday! Three, exquisite, playful and lovely, and eight admirers have a good hobby. It's not bad for the Eight Immortals to cross the ocean. Not bad. March 8 is coming, I wish you a happy Women's Day! Fourth, I say I love the world, not because I am in an ivory tower. It was only after knowing that it was dark, dirty and ugly outside that I had to say such a thing. Fifth, there is always a moment that brings unforgettable warmth; There is always that Mao Mao rain, which washes away troubles; There is always a touch of scenery, a beautiful spring; There is always that bright moon, reflecting good dreams; There is always that blessing, accompanied by happiness! 6. Flowers are always blooming and water is always flowing. Being a sister is lucky; Heart to heart, hand in hand, through thick and thin. Sisters' Day, may our friendship last forever, and may my dear sisters be happy forever. Seven, drink less juice and eat more fruit, eat less snacks and drink more water, sit less and stand more, think less and see more, talk less and do more, look forward to less nostalgia. I don't want you to make a mess of yourself Experiencing life is another matter, and it doesn't mean degeneration and indulgence. Never agree with those who pretend to be cool and different. They are people who have nothing to do. Find an excuse to indulge yourself. Nine, the skirt flutters, the girl arrives, and the goddess shines. Laughing red cheeks, black hair hanging over the shoulders is even more enchanting. Red lips and white teeth make people feel pity. A well-read, knowledgeable, countless heroes compete for beauty. Girls' Day is coming. May you always be young and beautiful.

2. Give some humorous sentences. There are many friends, but there is no lack of loneliness. What can a friend do without you to get the highest technology in the world? All human talents are nothing more than a mixture of time and patience.

Do you think I have no feelings when I am poor and white? I swear to you, if God endows me with wealth and beauty, I will make you unable to leave me, just as I can't leave you now. Although God didn't do this, we are still equal in spirit.

The more heartless you are, the higher and faster you will rise. If you hit others mercilessly, they will be afraid of you. You can only treat men and women as post horses, ride exhausted and dump them at the station, so that you can reach the peak of desire.

Life is only a few decades, don't leave any regrets for yourself, laugh happily. Cry if you want, and love when you should. There is no point in suppressing yourself.

A fish doesn't want to be put into a beautiful and clean fish tank, but wants to be eaten by sharks in the sea. This is natural ecology. It is said that "man is the flesh of desire". Life is a continuation of pain.

The person with the funniest behavior is always the first person to speak ill of others.

Lend money to the enemy and you will win him; Lend money to a friend and you will lose him.

April fool's day is soaked in wine; The life of a wise man lies in thinking.

Glass-ceramics and reputations are easily broken and can never be made up.

When people indulge in the memories of past lives, they live twice.

The worst people often give the best advice.

Half the troubles in life are because you say "yes" too quickly and "no" too slowly.

When you have to make a choice, not making a choice is also a choice.

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone can see it.

If your own windows are glass, don't throw stones at your neighbors.

The saddest thing between people is to be disturbed and hurt where you think it is worthy of goodwill and friendship.

Sow good behaviors and you will reap good habits. Sow good habits and you will reap good character. Sow good character and you will reap good fate.

We are experiencing all the sudden arrival in life, unprepared, just like an actor entering the first row. If the first rehearsal of life is life itself, what is the value of life?

Never break up with your parents at any time. They are your staunchest backing, your most loyal harbor, and the arms that can give you strength to stand up no matter what happens.

The closer the distance, the farther the journey; The simplest tone needs the hardest practice.

Everything can be washed away except tears, and that is time. The longer the time, the weaker the conflict, just like tea that is constantly diluted.

If a person's life has changed a lot without a major blow, it is not a change, but you didn't find it before, or found it, and deliberately ignored it.

Don't sell morality to buy wealth or freedom to buy power; If you hurt your conscience, it will get back at you.

Pay back what you owe, and you will know what is yours.

A man's tongue is soft and boneless, but it can break his spine.

Modesty is duty to superiors, courtesy to peers, and nobleness to subordinates.

Wealth does not belong to those who own it, but to those who enjoy it.

Being too familiar with one road makes me unfamiliar with many other roads.

It's nothing to take a few more turns on the road of life. Will there be green leaves, flowers, birds and grasslands at the fork in the road?

The wine of love is always the one that is particularly intoxicating before parting.

Thinking about relatives and talking about money hurts feelings; Between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt!

3. Funny and funny humor. Talking about writing jokes and humorous short sentences. I will give you some. See the person in need: 1, born well, handsome, determined to become a monk;

2, the one with great ability and high status does not say that his temper is not good;

3. The ugly one has a good temper and makes people happy. He is still a playboy.

4. The one who is honest and in good health has no skill, and at most he carries a bag for the leader …

I'm a good girl,

Can be straight, flexible, flexible and sellable.

You can play the second, you can play a girl,

Play queen, lower limit of sun exposure,

Red cheeks, playing with a little freshness,

Swallow a heavy taste,

Scout out shameless and ignorant teenagers,

Avoiding hostile accolades, uncle,

You tell jokes, I can clap my desk and laugh,

You want to play literature and art, I look up at the stars.

You are lucky, but I lost your life.

Why did I become a leftover woman before I knew it?

Dear husband, I will love you, and I will be gentle and considerate.

I will give you a massage when you are tired, I will cook for you when you are hungry, and I will warm you when you are cold.

You play games, I cheer ... Oh, my God, give me a boyfriend.

The twins are in the same class, and the teacher assigned a composition-my father.

As a result, the teacher found that the father written by two people was completely different.

Not only are their personalities and habits different, but even their dates of birth are different.

The teacher asked them, "aren't you twins?" Not the same father? "

The twins said, "They are twins. They write the same thing. We are not afraid of you saying that our composition is plagiarized. "

Oh, my God, because of the disorder in class today,

Handsome teacher directly said, "If you make trouble again, I will kill you one by one!"

Hehe, the point is, the only boy among 40 people in our class,

I also replied: "Don't worry, teacher, I took a bath last night!" " "

This is a great loss to the teacher.

Playing checkers with my 5-year-old daughter, my mobile phone rang, and it was my friend Lao Hou, so I said hello: "Hello, Brother Hou!" " At this time, my daughter looked at me with reverence and said nothing. I'll put the phone down when I'm finished. The daughter whispered, "Dad, how did you and the Monkey King meet?"

Xiaoming said to his deskmate, "I only made one mistake in my composition yesterday, and my father killed me!" " The deskmate was surprised and asked, "Which word?" Ming Dow Jr.: "Isn't it just writing ancestors as inferior ancestors?"

Teacher: Xiao Ming, have you written the composition assigned yesterday?

Xiao Ming: Yes, the topic is Hometown Soil.

Teacher: This is a good topic. Read it to everyone.

Xiaoming: I went back to my hometown yesterday and found people in my hometown ...

That's called dirt ~, dirt to eat, dirt to wear, dirt to play with …

Teacher: Get out!

The new girlfriend said that her first boyfriend sold wonton and stopped eating wonton after breaking up.

The second boyfriend opened an Internet cafe and stopped surfing the Internet after breaking up.

I replied, "Then you can't leave me in the future."

Girlfriend asked why?

I fucking sell clothes, you don't know!

A classmate can't find a job for a long time, ask another classmate:

"I have a stubborn temper. I can't listen to what others say. No one can ask me to do anything. I always do what I want. What do you think I can do? "

Another student replied, "Suitable for hairdressers!" …

When writing a composition in a primary school, the protagonists will always be Xiaohong and Xiaoming. Then one day, I found it boring to use Xiaohong and Xiaoming all the time, so I changed the names of some characters on TV. As a result, the teacher said that what I wrote was untrue! I don't understand. Can't Xiaoyu and Hua Wuque sweep the floor together after school?

I think I can write 800 words in one breath on the composition topic of the college entrance examination "Walking":

Walk over there! Pass by! Don't miss it! All the goods in this shop are from 2 yuan, one from 2 yuan and one from 2 yuan, so everything you want is cheap.

Buy what you can afford, don't come back when it's now or never, and sell it at a loss after clearance! What to pick, what to take,

Everything is 2 yuan! Original price18 yuan, 0 yuan, now the whole audience is in 2 yuan.

You can't buy two dollars at a loss, and you can't be fooled by two dollars …

1. When I just bought something, it cost 7 yuan. I felt in my pocket, and there was a 10 yuan and a 5 yuan.

Gave it to the boss 10 yuan, gave it to me, 3 yuan, and looked at 8 yuan.

I was confused for a moment: "boss, I just have 7 pieces of change here!" " "

It is estimated that the goods are also wandering, silently holding the 7 yuan I handed over.

Then return the bill of 10 to me, and the more I think about it on the way back, the more inappropriate I feel …

Did I lose or did the boss lose?

The difference between booking tickets after 2, 70, 80 and 90,

After 70: look at the brand; After 80: read the comments; After 90: Look at the mood.

After 70: used for rest; After 80: For the sake of mood; Post-90s: Take photos.

After 70: the house money is reimbursed by the unit; Post-80s: We have room money AA system; After 90: My dad's card was swiped.

I hope this helps.