Mom doesn't want dad to be buried together at the end of his life. What should I do?

My mother told our sisters before she died that she would not be buried with my father after a hundred years. She was unhappy with my father before her death, and she doesn't want to be together again in the next life. We can only promise. After my mother left, my father found a stepmother and lived there for twenty years. Later, when I was in poor health, I told us that I would be buried with my mother in the future, because we kept it from my father and my mother didn't want to be buried with him. I'm afraid he is not feeling well. Our sisters are embarrassed. Later, my father was seriously ill and left in a hurry, so he found another place to be buried in his hometown. I don't know if this is right. Every year during the Qingming Festival and the Spring Festival, we go to worship. I wish my parents all the best in heaven! [Pray] Bless future generations!

Then don't bury your parents together

This is a woman whose heart is broken when she is alive.

After her death, we must satisfy her only wish,

Don't make her sad after death!

Sister Wang of my unit has experienced such a thing. Her parents have never had a good relationship all their lives, and when they get old, they live apart. Sister Wang's mother was in poor health and her father ignored her. The only requirement of her mother's deathbed was that she could not be buried with her wife.

Sister Wang of our unit is 48 years old this year. She has a brother who lives in this city, and a sister who is married to other provinces and seldom comes back. Sister Wang's parents have bad feelings. According to Sister Wang, when she was very young, her parents quarreled every day. There was no quiet life at home until their brother and sister came of age. Neighbors all over the street know that their home is not harmonious. Because of this incident, all three of them were discriminated against in finding objects.

Fortunately, Sister Wang's three brothers and sisters have good personalities, and they are all married and have children one after another. Sister Wang's sister is married far away. Sister Wang said that her sister married far away from her parents to prevent their disagreement from affecting her marriage.

Originally, the old couple were old, their children were married, and they moved out alone. The rest have no burden, all have pensions and no economic pressure. But they still haven't dealt with each other, and each has its own house. Nobody cares who has a chance to quarrel.

Sister Wang also knows that parents are unhappy together, but the elderly at that age have no concept of divorce, that is, people who are single-minded will deal with it if they live well. The old couple have lived under the same roof for nearly 30 years.

Sister Wang's eldest brother has a bad heart and is a frequent visitor to the hospital. He can't do any work and needs someone to take care of him. My sister is far away, and I have to bring my grandson to send some money back every month to let Sister Wang buy things for the elderly. The three brothers and sisters have a good relationship with Sister Wang. She is taking care of everything for the elderly.

It's good to live like this, but just two years ago, Sister Wang's mother had a cerebral infarction, her right arm and calf were weak, and she couldn't take care of herself. During that time, Sister Wang's daughter was preparing for the college entrance examination. Sister Wang rents a house near the school and has to work to earn money for her children. She goes back to her parents' home three days a week to take care of her mother, clean the house, cook and wash clothes. The other four heavenly kings asked her father to take care of her.

Sister Wang thought: Although her parents have a bad relationship, they will never deal with it. After all, husband and wife have been together for more than 50 years. Now that the old lady is ill, she can't take care of herself and the children don't have much time to take care of her. Her father can't even look after it for his children. What she didn't expect was that her father really didn't care. Sister Wang steamed 20 steamed buns and her father ate 15 steamed buns. Without him, she went out to eat noodles for the old lady.

The neighbor called Sister Wang and told her about it. Sister Wang came to see her tearful mother. She is not qualified to take care of her mother. She couldn't bear to send her to a nursing home. Her brothers and sisters couldn't help it. They asked sister Wang to find a nanny for her mother, but several were not suitable.

Sister Wang couldn't run at both ends, so she had to take a long vacation for half a year to take care of her sick mother during the day and go back to accompany her to cook for her children at night. Fortunately, her daughter was admitted to a university in other provinces after the college entrance examination, and she was relieved to return the rented house and move back home.

Sister Wang's mother is seriously ill again and often falls down when walking. Her father couldn't help her when she fell, so he called Sister Wang. Several times, Sister Wang quarreled with her father when she received a phone call at work. Sister Wang didn't trust her mother and took her home to take care of her.

Sister Wang's wife is also a very filial person. In the past, when my mother-in-law was sick, it was also taken care of by Sister Wang, so Sister Wang took her mother home, and her wife was also very supportive, helping Sister Wang take care of her mother together.

Sister Wang's mother had just moved here for five months when her father died of a heart attack. Because of the short time, it is difficult to break ground in winter, there is no ancestral grave at home, and there is no warning before. For a time, Sister Wang and his younger brothers and sisters didn't know where to bury their father. After cremation, they temporarily stored the ashes in the ashes storage room.

For the sudden death of Sister Wang's father, my mother did not shed a tear, let alone a trace of sadness. She and Sister Wang said: "In this life, our grievances have passed, and I hope we will never meet again in the next life. I don't care where you bury him, even if I don't throw him into the river ditch that day, I can't be buried together. "

Sister Wang thought that her mother's angry words were not taken to heart. Unexpectedly, her mother has often said this sentence since then. As her illness worsened, her health became worse and worse. Sister Wang's mother was still vaguely saying "no burial" in the last few days when she couldn't eat. The old man's last words also told him never to bury them together, or he would die unsatisfied.

As soon as Sister Wang and her brother and sister discussed it, since the two old people had never been happy together all their lives, and their mother repeatedly told them not to be buried together, they simply accepted the wish of the old people not to be buried together.

The price of our small place is not high, and the price of the cemetery is not particularly expensive. More than 10 thousand yuan can buy a similar one. Sister Wang and her sisters chose two cemeteries for their parents in the same cemetery, one facing south and the other facing west. The purpose of this is to facilitate parents to sweep graves and not to be buried together according to their mother's wishes.

Because when her parents were alive, Sister Wang took care of them a lot, so her brothers and sisters each bought a tribute that didn't cost Sister Wang money, and Sister Wang was responsible for buying it for her parents.

After her parents were buried, Sister Wang came back to work. She is still a little bitter that her parents are not buried together. In her cognition, she has never seen an original couple who are not buried together. She is worried that her parents will be lonely without personal company there, because it often blames herself.

We all advised her to respect the wishes of the elderly. Before his death, the old man repeatedly told him not to be buried together, that is, he was determined to be completely separated. Since they have suffered all their lives, don't let them continue to suffer there.

Sister Wang nodded tearfully and said that she had been a filial daughter all her life. This decision was even her last filial piety to her mother. Her father left no message in his hurry, and she didn't want to be buried together because of the way his father treated his wife before his death. Choosing to do so also satisfied them. As for what relatives and friends say and think, let them go.

From the perspective of the younger generation, I think Sister Wang did the right thing. The old man suffered a lot during his lifetime. Why did he continue to suffer after his death? If the old man left no last words, it is understandable that the children should be buried together. After all, the same point of life and death was handed down from the older generation, but the old man left a message and repeatedly told them not to be together, so the children should respect the wishes of the old man. If they have to distort the wishes of the elderly for the sake of their reputation and the convenience of sweeping graves, this is unfilial.

Back to this question, my mother didn't want to be buried with her father before she died. What should I do?

I think, since my mother doesn't want to be buried together, she must be mentally and physically hurt and have formed hatred in her heart. Being a child fulfilled her last wish, that is, to let her live for herself once. As for my father's thoughts, we don't know. Not being buried together is to make him pay for his actions, and it is also a kind of compensation for his mother.

In this matter, it is more important to respect the wishes of the elderly than the opinions of others. Children should never be afraid of being called unfilial for their own face, or forced to bury the elderly together for the convenience of sweeping graves. Even if you force it, you will feel uneasy and blame yourself.

At present, there are many ways to bury the elderly, and there are many choices if they are not buried together. Those who decide to bury their ancestral graves separately can go to the ancestral graves, and the other party can buy a cemetery.

If there is no ancestral grave, you can also follow the example of Sister Wang's family in the article. You can buy two cemeteries in the same cemetery for the elderly to bury, and buying two tombs at the same time is not only cheaper, but also convenient for children to sweep graves.

If the two old people had a lot of trouble before their death, but they don't want to be too close after their death, they can also buy different cemeteries that are not far apart, so that they won't waste too much time when sweeping graves.

In addition to sea burial, the ashes of the two old people can also be buried in different sea areas, so that they will never meet. You can also bury trees and bury the ashes of two old people under trees in different areas.

In fact, there are many ways to bury an old friend. As long as you want to open your life and don't want to meet again in the next life, there are many ways to separate. Buried together. Still together? This is just the old man's determination never to meet again. Children have fulfilled the wishes of the elderly, why not let the elderly feel at ease?

Living in the same cave and dying in the same cave is a wonderful thing, but some people have done unforgivable things to their other half, which makes their spouses hate it and just want to disappear forever. Once this idea breeds in their hearts, it is difficult to change.

Some people say that the original couple must be buried together, and their children should not listen to one-sided words. Not being buried together is unfilial. I can't help asking, "What is filial piety and what is obedience"? If the old man endured humiliation before his death, he would get a moment's peace after his death. It is unfilial for children to deprive him of this peace. It is not smooth to make the wishes of the elderly difficult to realize for their own face and convenience.

It is inevitable that people will be dissatisfied with their lives and have to continue their marriage for the sake of their children, but they want to settle down after death and don't want to be humiliated again. I think children should be satisfied. This is my personal idea. I don't know what you think. Welcome to tell me your opinion!

Be sure to support your mother. Mother must have been disappointed in your father all her life. Maybe she didn't divorce your dad for you, or a woman wouldn't make such a decision. Respect your mother's wishes!

If I were you, I wouldn't follow my mother's wishes. I will definitely let my biological parents be buried together!

Because our parents are alive, we do our best to be filial. Obedience is filial piety. In order to make mother happy, live a few more years. Verbal obedience is to win the favor of mother. So when people get old, they often get confused and talk nonsense. Don't think what your mother said is true, just talk to her. Mother's death, funeral and burial are still decided by our living children. How can I not bury my parents in the grave! Don't hesitate to make your own decision!

If you really listen to your mother's instructions and don't bury her old man and her father together after death, you will feel uneasy, and you will definitely let this incident disturb your life, because you will definitely think of your dead father and be lonely, knowing that your mother has also gone to heaven, but you can't meet her husband and wife and sleep in the same cave. At that time, your father's dream will keep you awake all night. Everyone pays attention to joint burial. Even if the living parents really don't love each other, you should bury them together and let them continue to run in. This is what you should do.

If you really do what your mother asks, don't bury your mother and father together. You will be used as a joke by the world!

After reading the answer, I feel that some children are born worse than barbecued pork, knowing that they are unwilling to realize the dying wishes of the elderly for their own consideration, just selfish!

Listen to your mother. My mother always said that when I died, I wouldn't go to my father's ancestral grave and be buried together. I said no problem. Put it in my house. My mother and daughter will be together forever. If you miss me, come out and see me. If I miss you, I will talk to you, because I'm not going to be buried with my husband. When I die, let my son mix our mother's ashes and scatter them in the mountains and rivers to enjoy the beautiful natural scenery on the earth.

My classmate's father-in-law died in his fifties because his family belonged to a forest farm and was buried in the mountains near the forest farm. Her mother-in-law lived to the age of 83 and lived with them in the city.

I often tell my son that I have been fighting with your father for 30 years. One year before he died, he had a stroke, half of his body was not well, and he hit me with a cane. If I die, I will never be buried with him. I don't want to be angry with him or be beaten by him.

When he died, he specifically told his son not to be buried with the dead old man. Just cremate her and bury her under a big tree. But when the old lady died, she was dragged to the forest farm by my sisters and buried with the old man.

Since her mother-in-law was buried, her family has never stopped. First, her sister was thrown out of the car for no reason, and her leg was broken. She stayed at home for more than half a year, but she still didn't get well. Then, her husband cheated on a woman more than ten years older than him, and it took more than half a year to break up. The couple almost divorced because of this.

Later, I found a fortune teller to show me that her parents-in-law were fighting and angry every day there, which made her family restless. It seems that the ceremony that was done later burned down a house for her mother.

Headache. I've never seen such a thing. In my opinion, first grant your mother's wishes and try to keep a low profile. That's the point. When your mother died, how should you handle the funeral? Try to be buried with your father. Only in this way can you explain to your father and family, and others will not have any comments. As for your mother's "last wish", you are a confused old man.

Alas! Why are you like my mother? When my father was around, they had a good relationship. When my father died, my mother wanted to chase him alive. The cemetery she bought is also for two people. My mother also asked us to carve her name, so as not to scribble when she went, saying that my father likes silence. Now my father has been dead for 20 years and my mother is 85 years old. I have mentioned it several times in recent years, and once I solemnly told my sister that there is no need to bury it. She went with the wind and kept my sister awake for several days. My analysis is probably due to three reasons: my parents lived in the northeast, and later our three sisters worked in Jiangsu, and my father was finally buried in Jiangsu. My mother has basically lived in Shandong with my brother for 20 years. Every time I come, I hate bad weather, humidity, no heating, hot summer and cold winter, but I don't like Jiangsu; Mother has been unhappy for the first three years since her father died. There is a saying in our hometown that couples usually die together within three years, and they are also husband and wife there. If you don't follow them for more than three years, the rest will live a long life, and they won't be husband and wife there. In addition, once, she told us that she dreamed of my father in a dream. It seems that she was still worried about her father in her dream and asked him how he was. She also said that there was a slightly younger woman next to her father. She asked who it was, and my dad said he found another wife. I could feel that she was uncomfortable when she said this. Persuading her is an illusion. She later said that after so many years, it would be very uncomfortable for him to be there alone, as if he were relieved. I really don't know what to do. My sister said we'll talk about it then! Actually, personally, I still think we should respect her opinion.