Funny couplets for drinking during the Spring Festival.

You always need to drink during the Spring Festival. The couplets about drinking can really make you laugh. Here I bring you funny couplets about drinking during the Spring Festival. I hope you will like them.

The couplets for drinking during the Spring Festival, with horizontal stripes after drinking, are classic!

Part I: I feel upset and want to drink.

bottom line: go to the top as soon as you drink.

horizontal criticism: I'm a coward.

Part I: I want to drink when I'm free.

bottom line: if you drink too much, you will get into trouble.

horizontal batch: it can't be done.

Part I: I was drunk and fell asleep when I got home.

bottom line: vomit, vomit, and keep beeping.

horizontal criticism: I'm bored to death

Part I: I'm sober, I'm not addicted, and I know how to reflect on myself.

bottom line: no more drinking, no more drunkenness, no more parties with friends.

Horizontal criticism: Impossible

Part I: Don't want to go out, slow down your stomach.

bottom line: I beg your pardon for coaxing my wife.

horizontal batch: take a day off.

Part I: It's better after a day.

bottom line: I ran away after answering a phone call.

horizontal criticism: get a knife.

A joke about the reversal of gods:

1. In the final exam of the university, everyone encouraged Xueba to pass on the answers. After leaving the examination room, everyone asked Xueba one after another: Why is there one less, and the last question won't?

Xueba calmly replied: The first question won't?

2. My friend bought an outdoor watch, which is of great quality. It didn't break when I fell off a cliff, or someone died.

3, girls give boys lunch every day, after two months? The boy said shyly to the girl:? The lunch is delicious. I ...?

before the words were finished, the girl said: Really! That's what my brother did. He likes you for a long time! ?

4. Liu Bei said to Zhang Fei. Third brother, you go and take his dog's life. ?

Zhang Fei galloped his horse and pointed his spear at Lu Bu:? Hey, do you know why my big brother called me here?

Lu Bu looked at him: To kill me? Zhang Fei laughed:? No, no, my big brother asked me to pick up your ...?

Before saying his word, Lu Bu turned around and cursed:? Damn it! Feifei, don't call me Bubu when so many people do. ?

5. I have to work overtime at night, so I can't come back, leaving my sister-in-law and me at home. It thundered that night, and I was going to sleep. At this time, my sister-in-law said that she was afraid of thunder. Later, my sister-in-law slept in bed. In order to comfort her, I held her in my arms and we slept together until morning.

My brother came back and the door was opened. My brother watched me and my sister-in-law cuddle and sleep together. So he smiled and said:? Or my sister is sensible. ?

　6、 ? Take this 2 thousand to pay tuition. ? Hearing the tone of the president's refusal, she blushed. Ah, no! Although my family is poor, I can't ask for your money! ?

　? It doesn't matter, when I lend it to you, pay me back when you have money. ? Huh? But I don't have any money. Then sell yourself, huh? The president provoked an evil smile on her chin.

intoxicated, she nodded shyly. Then the president sent her to the northeast to sell ginseng.

7. There is a very powerful person in the Jianghu. The owner can fossilize all his skills. One day, he found his enemy and thought! Oh! I will hurt the person he loves most! So he petrified his enemy's wife! The enemy glared at him and said, Dare to fossilize your wife! He paused: and lonely birds have sung their grief! ?

8. I always close my eyes when cutting onions, thinking that I won't shed tears, but I still cried when I cut my hand.

9. I took my son to visit the beautiful Jiuzhaigou on National Day. I asked my son: Do you like it here? He said happily: I like it. So I sold him to a local trafficker.

1. I watched her for a long time in the park. She sat there silently drinking beer, her eyes red as if she had something on her mind. In an instant, all kinds of questions flashed in my mind about this mysterious beautiful woman.

Humorous jokes about the two-child policy

1. The two-child policy has been introduced, but the person who gave birth to the first child has not been found yet. Stuck in the heart?

2. When I had a second child, you said no; When I can't, you say yes.

3. After the second child is fully released? A student made a mistake at school, and the teacher asked him to call his parents. The student said that his parents were not at home, so can my uncle? The teacher said yes. The next day, his little brother who just turned one year old ran to school on his back.

4. The Tang Priest and his disciples were having dinner when suddenly? Boom! ? A loud noise startled everyone. The Tang Priest looked up and said, pointing to the broken stone under the road. Wukong, your mother gave birth to a second child. ?

5. Although the full liberalization of the second child policy has little to do with me? But what I want to say is that no matter how difficult it is to raise children, you must have two. Because when I'm dying of old age? I'm afraid a child can't make up his mind? If it's two people, it's different? They can discuss it. A: Why don't you unplug the oxygen pipe? B: ok.

6. The second child policy has been fully liberalized.

The post-5s and post-6s are entangled in: whether to have one more son or one more grandson;

the post-7s are entangled in: whether to be born or not, whether to be born or not;

The post-8s generation is entangled with: If the mother-in-law and his wife are pregnant at the same time, who will they take care of?

post-9s and post-s are struggling: Will the little P child be called brother or uncle in the future?

7. "Is the son a second child? ""Yes ""What's your name? I know that, but what's your name? 」「? Ertai "

after 9.5 and 6, it is too late to let go of the second child, so it is necessary to let go of the second room.