Funny sketch script for 5 people

(Today is Li Jun’s mother’s birthday, and the four bad boys decided to buy some things to celebrate Li Jun’s mother’s birthday. They walked while carrying the things and talking)

Fat Cat: "I really want to get to Li Jun's house earlier. I'm a little hungry now." After speaking, he pursed his lips and touched his belly. "Listen, they are all barking."

Mickey Mouse: "You Just eat, look! What is this? (Make pig face movements while talking)

Fat Cat: Haha, everyone on earth knows this (Make snickering movements)

Bugs Bunny: I'm going to tell Teacher Mi that you secretly ate snacks, hum~

Fat Cat: Don't talk nonsense, I haven't eaten snacks since Teacher Mi gave me the hula hoop. , and you turn a thousand times every day

(Make an S-curve movement)

Dou Ya’er: You still said sophistry, Xiao Ou and I both saw it, you were secretly doing it. Eating chicken legs on the road (making the gesture of eating chicken legs)

Bugs Bunny: He ate four in one go (holding out four fingers)

That’s it! I haven’t eaten chicken drumsticks for a long time. My mother was afraid that I would be hungry, so she specially prepared them for me.

Fat Cat: For your sake, I will only eat one. (The three of them made fun of him. ) Hey! It’s Li Jun’s house ahead

Douya’er: Let me check it out, it’s really Li Jun’s house!

Mickey Mouse: Get ready, stand up, look forward, and put on your hat! , 1, 2, 1, 2~~Stop, let me test the situation

Three: Okay!

Mickey Mouse: Li Jun, Li Jun~

Li Jun: Why are you here?

Mickey Mouse: Not just me, but also~~ (pointing to Fat Cat and the other three)

Li Jun’s mother: Jun’er , are the four young men here?

Four: Hello aunt~

Li Jun’s mother: So good~

Mickey Mouse : Fat Cat, Dou Ya'er, help Auntie go inside first and rest.

Fat Cat, Douya'er: Auntie, Auntie, let's go in the house, I have a lot to tell you! < /p>

Li Jun’s mother; Really? You little guys must have some new tricks? Haha~

Bugs Bunny: Li Jun, you know you’ve made a big mistake. Is it wrong?

Huh? Let me think about it, right?

Mickey Mouse: Do you know what day it is? )

Li Jun: It’s my mother’s birthday.

Bugs Bunny: Then why didn’t you tell us?

Li Jun: I~I~

Rolina: Huh~! So you are here, are you here to cause trouble? (Put your hands behind your back, showing you are arrogant and interrogating)

Bugs Bunny: Hey~ Big Detective, please don’t accuse us wrongly! (Looking to defend yourself)

Li Jun: Luo Lina, they are really not here to cause trouble, they are here to help me.

Luo Lina. : I don’t believe it. They are like four little bullies, and they will help you with housework.

Teacher Milan: Luo Lina, let’s see what you said about them.

Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny: Teacher Milan, why are you here too? (Shy) By the way, you have to seek justice for us. (Pleading expression)

Fat Cat, Douyaer: Hehe~ (scratches the back of his head) Teacher Milan, what are you doing here? Hehe~ We didn’t do anything bad~

Teacher Milan: Like you, I came to visit Li Jun’s mother!

Four: Really? (Surprise) Teacher Mi, you are so kind. Long live Teacher Mi!

Li Jun’s mother: Ah, the teacher is here, come into the room quickly, sit down, sit down, Jun’er, quickly get a stool for the teacher to sit on. Look at our Jun’er, he’s still ignorant~

Teacher Milan: Li Jun’s mother, don’t be so polite, please be careful with your health, (saying, going to help Li Jun’s mother)

Four Everyone rushed up and said: Teacher, do you know? Today is Li Jun’s mother’s birthday.

Li Jun’s mother: Birthday, is today my birthday? Haha, I forgot, how do you know?

Four: Secrets!

Li Jun’s mother: Look, these children are quirky and often bring me surprises. Since Jun’er was transferred to your class, they often come over to help me with housework. These children are really What a great student! What a great student! (Looking at them very sincerely)

Teacher Milan: smiled and nodded.

The four little guys, with their heads lowered and their faces red, looked at each other without speaking, just giggling.

Rolina: Oh! It turns out that you guys are following Lei Feng’s example of doing good deeds without leaving their names behind. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? (Regretful) No wonder you guys picked up your schoolbags and left as soon as school was over in the afternoon, without even playing basketball.

Teacher Milan: You guys, don’t just stand there. Didn’t you say today is Li Jun’s birthday?

Fat Cat: (very quickly) put the cake on the table) where is the loudspeaker. (Walked to Teacher Mi and whispered: "We bought this with our own pocket money.")

Mickey Mouse: Auntie, you are not in good health. Li Jun went to school again. From now on Ah, if you blow it with this one, everyone can hear it

Li Jun’s mother: I, the old lady, can’t use this trumpet!

Mickey Mouse: Auntie, let me demonstrate it to you, please watch it.

Mickey Mouse sings while performing

Lyrics: Look at this little speaker, it’s so powerful, you can hear it no matter how far away you are.

I blew east and west, and I blew you, and I blew him, and everyone was happy, haha, happy, happy, haha

(Everyone laughed and applauded )

Teacher Milan: Haha~ (happy) I have something very important to tell you, (while taking out the newspaper from the bag and giving it to them)

Four: Read, Four students from Class 6 (3) of Salmon Primary School saved the golden monkey. Haha, there are also photos of us! (Free speech)

Teacher Mi; the principal also said that next week all the teachers and students in the school will be called on to learn from you.

Luo Lina: Look at them carefully, (saying to herself: "Why don't I notice it usually?")

Teacher Mi: Li Jun's mother, this is us The school’s love foundation has helped Li Jun (pass a red envelope to Li Jun’s mother)

Li Jun’s mother: Teacher Mi, you are so kind. Good students, good teachers, and good school. Thank you very much. Thank you! (Tears in eyes)

Fat Cat; Auntie, let’s celebrate your birthday! (Everyone lights candles together to celebrate the birthday)

Dougaer: Luo Lina, you are the little queen of our class. Come on, come on!

Rolina: I was a little embarrassed to see them, but I was so happy that I sang, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you~~~'

Bugs Bunny: Auntie, please Tell us what you wish for?

Li Jun’s mother: I just hope that everyone is happy, and you good children, listen to the teacher more, study hard, and make progress every day.

Teacher Milan: Li Jun’s mother, don’t worry, they are all my good students!

Mickey Mouse: Thank you, Teacher Mi. No teacher has ever said that we are good students. For your words, brothers, we must work hard!

The four of them said together: Please believe us, we are all good students!

Time: A certain noon in modern times

Place: Office of "Ximenji" Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.

Character: Ximen Qing - drug store owner

Matchmaker——Professional intermediary

Wu Dalang——Applicant

Li Ping'er——Applicant

Pan Jinlian——Applicant

Wu Song - security guard

Lin Chong - industrial and commercial bureau employee

[The curtain opens.

[Ximen Qing came up holding a giant medicine bottle.

Ximen Qing (to the audience) Dear fellow villagers, uncles and brothers! I have something good to introduce to you! The special magic medicine "Jin Ping Mei"! As long as you eat one plum from this golden vase every day, you can cure all skin, urinary and reproductive system, gynecological, infertility, and other complex diseases without pain or side effects. According to the latest authoritative medical research, this medicine has special effects on SARS. It is a must-have medicine for home travel! (I said so much in one breath that I was a little out of breath.

After a moment of slowing down, he started talking to himself) It should be okay to sell like this. Alas, from business sales to publicity and planning, I do it all by myself, which is a bit overwhelming. I, Ximen Qing, used to start from scratch and had to do everything myself. Now I rely on this "Jin Ping Mei" to sell it to those rich but uneducated people, and I have made a lot of money. Not long ago, a wealthy man bought a lot of goods from me in order to show that he had money to buy expensive things. Now that I have money, it's time to find someone to be my assistant. But that matchmaker, why didn’t she find someone for me for so long!

[A high-pitched and harsh voice came: Boss Ximen!

As soon as Ximen Qing heard this voice, he knew that the matchmaker was here.

[Enter the matchmaker.

Matchmaker Oh, Boss Ximen, I haven’t seen you for a while, you are more charming and charming again.

Ximen Qing, do you also know that we haven’t seen each other for a while? I asked you to hire an assistant for me. If there is no news, I think you will be laid off soon!

Matchmaker Oh, how can you curse someone to be laid off? You know, your requirements are so high. If you ask for any "special effects" from someone, of course I have to choose from thousands of them before I can introduce them to you.

Ximen Qing We who make medicine are most concerned about results. Of course, we need those who can improve work efficiency to become our employees.

Matchmaker Well, this person introduced to you is guaranteed to have the special effects you want and can help your company make a lot of money!

Ximen Qing, seriously?

Matchmaker Seriously!

Ximen Qing Sure enough?

Matchmaker Sure enough!

Ximen Qing: Well, call him out immediately and let me take a look.

Matchmaker, okay, I'm here to solemnly introduce tonight's first applicant - Wu Dalang!

[Enter Wu Dalang.

Ximen Qing, is this the sweet potato you introduced to me? No joke?

Matchmaker, don't worry, Wu Dalang, tell him what you are capable of!

Wu Dalang (said in one breath like an endorsement) My name is Wu Dalang. I am five and a half feet tall and weigh 200 kilograms. I have a graduate degree in computer science and have many years of experience in network design, programming and various clerical work. Proficient in five languages, English, French, German, Japanese and Korean, with strong organizational and planning skills, loving the motherland and the people, hard-working...

Ximen Qing, okay, okay, you can go.

Wu Dalang, boss, this...

Matchmaker, boss, such a talent is one of a million!

Ximen Qing, is this considered a talent? There was simply no special effect I wanted.

Matchmaker, just try him again. It took me a long time to find such a person. Wu Dalang, just show your strength and let Boss Ximen take a look.

Wu Dalang Okay, I type very fast. If you don’t believe me, look at it. (Sit next to the computer and start typing on the keyboard quickly)

Matchmaker, look, how fast, you won’t have to worry about no one to help you with your files in the future!

Ximen Qing What if you type quickly? We are a pharmaceutical company, not a typing company.

Matchmaker Also, his foreign languages ??are very good. Maybe you can expand your overseas business. Wu Dalang, please introduce yourself again in English.

Wudalang My name is Wudalang. I've graduated from the Computer system by doctor degree......

Ximen Qing Stop! You also speak English well, but I can’t understand a word of it, so what else can you do? joke!

Matchmaker Wu Dalang has many talents. Listen, he can sing!

Wu Dalang (singing) "In the setting sun, you are more energetic. When the setting sun sets, there is no need to panic..."

Matchmaker He can dance again!

[Wu Dalang danced "Four Little Swans" while humming.

Ximen Qing, stop, stop, stop! It doesn't matter if he can dance or sing. People can't stand it anymore when they see him.

Wu Dalang, boss, please do it. As long as you ask me, I will do anything!

Ximen Qing, don’t bother me!

Wu Dalang (suddenly grabbed Ximen Qing’s collar fiercely) Please don’t invite me!

Ximen Qing (scared) Brother, please calm down. Of course I want to hire someone like you.

Wu Dalang Really? (Becoming polite) Thank you very much. I was a little rude just now. Please don’t take offense.

Ximen Qing It doesn’t matter. Ah, there is a department in our company that is very suitable for you to be the supervisor.

Wu Dalang, what department?

Ximen Qing Logistics Environmental Sanitation Resource Allocation Management Planning Department.

Wu Dalang, what department are you from?

Ximen Qing, your office is in those two bathrooms, and all the resources there can be deployed and managed by you. There are also ample opportunities for you to create new environments there!

Wu Dalang, isn’t that just...washing the toilet?

Ximen Qing, with your ability, you will definitely be able to clean the best toilet.

Wu Dalang, this...

Ximen Qing, please go and get familiar with the working environment first. You're welcome, just treat it as your home. (Pushing Wu Dalang off the stage)

Matchmaker: With such a talent, you let him wash the toilet?

What can Ximen Qing do? I don’t want people to think that they will become dwarfs after taking our medicine! What I want is special effects, special effects!

Matchmaker, then I am really confused. What effect do you want?

Ximen Qing It’s useless for you to say that you are a super intermediary. You don’t even understand this.

Matchmaker, Boss Ximen, don’t worry, I have something else to introduce to you. Next, we invite the second candidate Li Ping'er!

[Li Ping'er is graceful on the ground.

Ximen Qing (his eyes light up) Oh, this has some effect.

Matchmaker It turns out that the boss wants this special effect.

Ximen Qing: There is a person like this in the office. He lets me take a look at it when I am bored, so that I can feel refreshed and improve my work efficiency. (To Li Ping'er) Come, please sit down.

[Li Ping'er sat down and discharged her electricity towards Ximen Qing.

Ximen Qing, what’s your surname?

Matchmaker (speaks quickly) Her name is Li Ping'er, she is eighteen years old and just starting out. I hope Boss Ximen will take care of her.

Ximen Qing, take care of me, I will definitely take care of you!

Li Ping'er (spoke in a very rough male voice) I don't understand anything, the boss must teach me more.

Ximen Qing, your voice...

The matchmaker is right, this kid doesn’t understand anything, what do you want...

Ximen Qing (getting angry) What? ? Boy? Is he a man?

Matchmaker, I never said he was a woman...

Ximen Qing, get out! Get both of them out!

Matchmaker (hurriedly pulled Li Ping'er out, but stayed here.) Boss, don't get so angry. I have one last trump card.

What card does Ximen Qing return to the emperor? Are they things like those two beasts just now?

Matchmaker: No, no, no, this definitely has the special effect you mentioned.

Ximen Qing, okay, I won’t believe you anymore.

Matchmaker, let’s take a look first and then talk. Now we invite the third applicant - Pan Jinlian!

[Pan Jinlian walked into the beauty pageant.

The matchmaker Pan Jinlian is twenty years old, has measurements of 36, 24, and 36, and is five feet seven and a half inches tall. She is now an unemployed vagrant, and her ambition is to be the world's greatest slut.

Funny sketch script

Tang - Tang Monk

Sun - Sun Wukong

Pig - Zhu Bajie

Sha - Sha Monk

Bai - Bai Jingjing (White Bone Essence)

(Narration: It is said that the four masters and disciples of Tang Monk went to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures. On this day, the four masters and disciples climbed over Heifeng Ridge and came to a In the village, there is smoke from the cooking pots, and there seems to be an inn.

The four of us were tired from running around, so we took a rest here...)

Tang: The ancient road has a west wind and thin horses, small bridges and flowing water, people live in houses, Wukong, I am hungry, go and make some fast food!

Sun: Master, aren’t you trying to lose weight? It cost us a lot of money to burn fat! How could...

Tang: (impatiently) You monkey head, stop talking nonsense, don't you see that my master is skin and bones? On the way to the West, there are so many demons and monsters vying to see the glory of being a master. How can I let people go home disappointed? !

(Walking around the arena on catwalk, stopping to pose)

Sun: Okay, Master. I'll go right away. When you've eaten and drank enough, don't blame me for not reminding you and reciting the tightening mantra again!

Tang: You are getting more and more annoying, go away now!

Sun: Yes, Master. Bajie and Sha Seng, take care of Mr. Tang. I will be back soon.

(Sun Xia)

Tang: Why does this monkey head have so many bird songs in its mouth?

Pig: Master, he saw that I passed CET-4 and was dissatisfied, so he studied day and night to surpass me!

(After a while)

Tang: Hey, Bajie, look, there’s a beauty coming over there!

(looking into the distance) )

Pig: Master, it’s true! So beautiful!

(As if wiping saliva)

Tang: (Ashamed, soft voice)

Sin, sin... Bajie, you lost your composure again,

(Handkerchief handed over)

Hurry up and wipe the corners of your mouth... But what a pity, the skin is a little darker...

(Zhu and Sha are stunned)

(Women fluttering past)

Sha: STOP! (Vibrato) Hello girl, how old are you, what is your name, where are you from, where are you going, do you have a partner, what is in your basket, do you know this? There are a lot of monsters on this road,

It doesn't matter, I can protect you.

Bai: This young monk is so polite. The little girl's surname is Bai and her first name is Jingjing, which is Sprite - the Jingjing that is so bright and cold.

(The three of them looked fascinated)

Bai: I am going to Datang to take the computer level exam. Are the masters from the Eastern Tang Dynasty?

rY Zhaozao.com Vo [VS

Zhu: You are right! We are all eminent monks of the Tang Dynasty. I wonder which language the lady speaks?

Bai: FORTRAN, yes!

Tang: (Shoulders shaking with excitement, eyes shining)

To be honest, the examiner of FORTRAN is Xiaoseng’s second cousin. If Miss can... then Xiaoseng Can you give me a helping hand...

Sun: (circling the field)

What kind of evildoer dares to harass you. Master, don't worry. I'm coming!

(Catch the pig and high-five each other)

Who are you, why don’t you tell me your name!

Sun: Sorry. I accidentally lost my contact lens on the road and couldn't tell who was who.

Don: This monkey is becoming more and more useless. Sha Seng, lend him my glasses.

(Sha takes the glasses and puts them on Sun)

Sun: (rushes forward, pauses)

It turns out to be you - MONICA!

Bai: STIVEN! Is it really you?

(TITANIC music played, Sun Bai looked at each other, expressing emotion)

Pig: Oh, my God! Lovers!

Tang: (Wiping tears ) It’s so touching. I’ve never seen such a touching scene since I read the story of JACK and ROSE!

Sha: (passing the towel to Tang)

Master, don’t make people laugh, that’s TITANIC.

(To the audience)

Last time we passed by Dahua Cinema, he insisted on dragging us to see it. He cried so much... Oh, my master is so sentimental...

p>

Pig: Senior brother, is this...?

Sun: MONICA and I were classmates in college...

Bai: STIVEN was the sports committee member of the class at that time, and I was the English class representative...

Bai: He sends me home every night

Sun: He calls me every night

Sun: We always love to walk in the woods in the evening...

Bai: He always likes to tell me ghost stories, which makes me (shy and strong)

(The three of them expressed fascination, and the two of Sun and Bai expressed memories)

Pig: I know, Brother Hou also liked to sing: ONLY YOU,

CAN MAKE MY SKY BRIGHT, ONLY YOU, CAN MAKE ME...

Sun: Hum you How big. ． (Punch him far away)

Sha: Since we are acquaintances, then...ah, no, Brother Monkey, you are not a human, then Miss Bai...

Tang : (Yelling, falling back) Quickly protect me, you monster...!

Sun: (Troubled) MONICA, now I am escorting Master to the West to obtain scriptures. I am thinking about my old relationship, so don’t embarrass me...

Bai: Bian water flow, Si water flow, flow Arriving at Guazhou Ancient Ferry, Wu Shan felt a little bit sad, thinking for a long time, hating for a long time, and the hatred would not stop until he returned home. The moonlight person leans against the building. It’s been five hundred years, STIVEN, do you really not miss me at all?

Sun: Time has passed and I am no longer the same person. Your old ticket can no longer board my broken ship. Why should you...

Pig: If our love lasts for a long time, how can we stay together day and night... Miss Bai, in fact, I share the same problem with you...

Sun :SHUT UP! PIG!

Tang: Wukong, this is your fault. Miss Bai is so infatuated, but you are so hard-hearted and don't understand amorous feelings. Oh my god, what a tragedy...

(Sha Seng continues to pass the towel to Tang)

Bai: STIVEN, I am not here to catch your master this time. I just want to tell you that I am here. There is one person in this world who misses you forever. Since you are devoted to Buddha and pursuing progress, I can’t stop you. I...I'm leaving.

(Take a few steps and turn back)

May you be happy.

(Go, then look back)

Call me if you have anything to do...

(Go, look back)

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