I want homophonic jokes, the more the better.

I was on a business trip with my colleagues. The local colleagues were hospitable and hosted a banquet in characteristic hotel's private room that night. After sitting down, a dozen men and women have been chatting, and only one person is ordering. After ordering, I asked everyone's opinion: "The food is ready. Is there anything else to add? "

In this case, in Beijing, we usually ask the waiter to quote the name of our order. So a buddy in Beijing said, "Miss, report it."

Miss saw his one eye, nothing happened. "Miss, report it!" Dude, it's a little urgent.

Miss face flushed, still nothing happened.

"What? Let you report that you didn't hear it? " Dude, it's really urgent.

A female colleague hurriedly dozen circle field: "Miss, please report one by one, ah."

The young lady mumbled something and asked, "So, so ... is it okay to hold a woman instead of a man?"

"poof!" A female colleague on the side just took a gulp of tea and sprayed it all on the avant-garde. A dozen people laughed, and the young lady was at a loss.

It's time to serve Let's have a mixed face lift first. A large plate of thin face was served, followed by several dishes of ingredients and sauces. Miss didn't pay attention when serving, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. That buddy is also deliberately teasing, pretending to be unhappy and asking the young lady: "What should I do?"

The young lady said calmly, "Whatever you want."

"What do you say?"

"How do you want to mix?"

"What do you usually do here?"

"Why don't I help you mix?"

"Very good."

I saw the young lady quickly pour several dishes of ingredients and sauces on the rapier, holding chopsticks in one hand and spoons in the other, and stirring them with several brushes. Then he said to his buddy, "Sir, you can eat." The buddy stared at the plate for a long time without saying anything, and another colleague said "thank you" to the lady for him.

The main course is served-roast leg of lamb, a big plate of meat bones and a plate of salt and pepper. A Beijing buddy loves this mouth so much that he grabbed a leg of lamb unceremoniously. Click is a bite, and he eats and drinks. The young lady looked at it and said, "Sir, this should be dipped." The elder brothers looked puzzled at the young lady and then at the local colleagues. A local colleague said, "It tastes better when dipped in it."

The buddy then stood up with a leg of lamb and clicked again.

The young lady hurried over and asked, "Do you need anything, sir?"

"ah? No. "

"Then please sit down and eat."

The buddy sat down and muttered, looking at everyone, lost. Carefully hold the leg of lamb to your mouth and take a careful bite.

The young lady added, "Sir, you should dip this."

Buddy stood up, waved a leg of lamb and shouted angrily, "You have to eat standing, sit down and eat how!" " ?

The table is full and the leaders are here. The house was full of greetings. The waitress next to the party is beautiful, new, inexperienced and quite nervous.

Everyone sat down, and someone called, "Miss, tea!" "

Miss hurried forward and pointed her finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, * * * seven!"

Everyone laughed, and the leader went on to say, "pour the tea!" "

Miss busy "down" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or 7."

Someone asked, "What are you counting?" The young lady hesitated and whispered, "I am a dog."

Everyone was very angry and shouted, "Call your manager!" As soon as the manager came in, he put his hand down and asked with a smile, "What do you want to tell me?"

The leader said, "Don't ask any more questions. Ask about the age of this young lady."

The manager thought for a moment and answered according to his orders: "18 years old, a dog!" " "

The leader smiled and everyone laughed. It is not convenient for everyone to pursue the massive failure of leaders.

Miss and manager are like falling into the clouds.

After 30 days of drinking, a dish came up: "Stewed tortoise!"

Everyone was happy, but they didn't forget the rules. Someone dialed the king with chopsticks and said, "lead, lead!" "

The leader looked at the turtle's crazy shaking head and was unhappy. He didn't want to reconcile the ending of this statement, and he didn't want to go against everyone's good wishes. He tasted the soup with a spoon and said, "Good, good! Please feel free. "

Someone said, "Yes-a turtle should have soup!" " The leader almost spat with anger.

After a while, the soup was almost finished, and a round thing surfaced and asked, "Miss, what is this?"

The young lady quickly replied, "It's an asshole." Everyone was surprised and happy: "Leaders eat first, leaders eat first!"

This time, the leader didn't hear the words of "bad luck" and was very happy. He called the young lady: "Give it to everyone!"

For a long time, the young lady didn't move, and the leader asked angrily, "Why, is this unclear?"

The young lady said awkwardly, "How to divide seven people and six bastards?"

Everyone looked at each other, full of delicious food, hard to swallow.