A collection of humorous long jokes

1. A male teacher angrily said to a girl who was sleeping in class: "I'm so tired up there! You can't move down there! It's just that you don't cooperate. You don't even react at all. In the future, "If there is nothing in your stomach, don't blame the teacher!" 2. During class, a man was playing with his mobile phone. Unfortunately, the class teacher found him while looking outside the window. The class teacher didn't want to interrupt the class, so he sent a text message to the classmate. Reminding him. Unfortunately, the student didn't have the homeroom teacher's phone number, so he replied via text message: Who is he? He's in class. The head teacher replied: Look out the window! The brother replied: Thanks, the class teacher is watching, we will talk about it after class. 3. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys were not listening, so she yelled: "What are you thinking?" I was confused at the time, and I didn't know why I said: "I miss you!" There was silence in the classroom for a while, just a pair of frightened eyes looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and yelled: "You are just a stinky hooligan!" What an injustice! 4. The professor said... Today's class was in good order. The only drawback is... If the students chatting at the back could be as quiet as the students playing cards in the middle, they would not disturb the students sleeping in the front. 5. A child's diary : It was sunny on Monday, February 30th. It was not good to have no sun all day today. One of the goldfish my father bought and kept in the water tank drowned. I am very sad... Teacher’s comment: I am also very sad. I live like this. I have never met a 30th in February. I have never seen a sunny day without the sun. I have never seen a goldfish drowned in the water... 6. The homework may not be handed in, and it will be handed in again. You don’t have to write it yourself, you may not be able to write it, you may not be able to take the exam if you are able to do it, you may not be able to pass the exam if you pass it, you may not be able to graduate if you pass it, and you may not be able to find a job after you graduate. You may not be able to find a wife if you get a job, and you may not necessarily have children if you marry a wife, and if you give birth to a child, it may not be yours, my God! Why do you hand in your homework? ! =========================================7. When I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, the teacher assigned me a composition. The topic is: remember a tug-of-war match. Requirement: There must be a beginning and an end.

A classmate wrote this:

This afternoon, our Class 1 and Class 2 held a tug-of-war competition. (Beginning)

Their team came over, and our team came over. (After)

In the end, our class won! (End)

The teacher was very angry after reading it and drew a big circle in his notebook. And wrote a comment: Too short! "Pass" should be written at least ten times as long.

When this student handed in his essay again, it became: ,

This afternoon, our class one and class two held a tug-of-war competition.

Their team came over, and our team came over. Their class came over, and our class came over. Their class came over, and our class came over. (Written ten times)

In the end, our class won!

8. In class, the beautiful female teacher seriously explained to the children: "Breast" means "small". For example, "suckling pig" means "little pig", and "suckling pigeon" means "little pigeon". Xiao Ming, please make a sentence using the word "milk".

Xiao Ming: My family’s financial situation is not very good and we can only live in a 40-square-meter house.

Teacher: (I feel dizzy)...This one won’t work...change it to another one.

Xiao Ming: I have to jump over a cleavage in front of my house every day when I go to school.

Teacher: (fainted)... No... try another one.

Xiao Ming: ...Teacher, I really can’t think of it. It makes my nipples burst.

Teacher: ...9. One day in computer class, a row of classmates’ computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer has crashed, and our row is dead." At this time, many classmates said, "We are also dead.

At this time the teacher asked: "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" "7. While...while...

Child: He is taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time.

Teacher's comment: Is he going to take off his clothes? Ah? I still need to wear it?

Title: Among them

Children: One of my left feet is injured

Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede? ?

Title: Lu Lu Lu Xun

Children: After get off work, dad comes home one after another.

Teacher’s comment: How many dads do you have? Yeah?

Title: Sad

Children: There is a ditch in front of my house.

Teacher’s comment: The teacher is even sadder