Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I was "mistress"!
I was "mistress"!
1. Meeting love rat
?
my "mistress" road began in Chen Haoran.
For love, I always dare to love and hate, and I have been working hard to choose my own love.
at one time, I thought that Chen Haoran was the one I was looking for.
Wang Zhikai is the head of our sales department.
I liked him from the first moment I met him.
After that, I made a crazy pursuit of him, and with my unremitting efforts, we came together.
sweet love makes me look forward to getting married, but reality has poured cold water on me.
that day, I went out shopping and met my former colleague, Krishna Kumari.
long time no see, plus it's almost time for dinner.
We found a restaurant in the mall to have dinner with.
Talking about the work of both sides, when I opened the work group and showed them the photos of our real estate.
Krishna Kumari suddenly pointed to the photo and asked, "Is this person's name Chen Haoran?
I was a little surprised and asked, "He is our supervisor! Do you know? "
"I know him more than that. I worked as a colleague with him for two years before. You see, he is about my age, but he has been married twice and has two children. I'm still alone here.
Krishna Kumari is full of abuse.
"what? He's married? Married twice? There are children? " The sudden news made me a little confused.
"Yes, didn't you know?"
"As luck would have it, his first wife was my high school classmate. It seems that he lost his fertility because of dystocia, and then his parents forced him to divorce him. Now he lives with his second wife ... "
My head is buzzing.
married twice?
abandon the original match?
still married?
Is this the Chen Haoran I know?
2. Is it the rumored Neptune?
?
No wonder Chen Haoran refused to take me home before, because there was a wife and children at home.
and I have become a mistress!
I came home in a trance, and Chen Haoran came back before me.
When you see me coming in, take off my clothes and shoes politely.
There are six or seven steaming meals on the table.
it looks good.
if this treatment is put aside, I guess I will be moved to tears until he doesn't marry.
But now, I just think he is ridiculous and disgusting.
However, in order to investigate the truth, I had to pretend to be sweet, and jokingly said, "Hey, when did my boyfriend learn to cook? Honestly, is there another woman hiding at home?"
Chen Haoran said, licking her face, unaware of my strangeness.
"How is it possible? I only have you in my heart. If you say that the golden house hides the charming, it also hides you!"
with that, Chen Haoran handfuls of me in his arms.
when I heard him say this, I felt a little queasy when I thought that he had a wife and children.
I'm just trapped in his golden house!
I didn't say anything more. I bought two bottles of high-alcohol liquor and a bottle of foreign wine from the wine cabinet.
if you keep drinking him, we salespeople will naturally be able to drink the same amount.
it is precisely because I understand this point that I deliberately mixed white wine with foreign wine.
Sure enough, Chen Haoran was drunk.
I threw him on the bed and picked up his cell phone.
In peacetime, Chen Haoran, er, never leaves his mobile phone, and I didn't suspect anything before, so I have never seen his mobile phone.
this time, I'm well prepared.
I turned on my mobile phone and found his WeChat, but to my surprise, it was full of normal chat messages.
Almost all of them are at work, and there is little personal news.
this makes me a little stunned. Have I wronged him?
I don't believe in evil. I rummaged through the buckle for a long time, but I still couldn't find it.
Just when I was angry with Chen Haoran, there was a glimmer of hope.
Didi!
a message suddenly flashed on wechat.
"Did you go home?" The head is marked with clear water bay customer 13.
when I opened my circle of friends, I found that I also knew this client, a rich woman in her thirties.
Some time ago, I visited our property, and I also saw it. At that time, it was Chen Haoran who received it.
after all, there is nothing wrong with chatting between sales and customers.
but generally speaking, sales people like us are always rushing to find customers when things happen.
although there are customers who actively seek sales, it is rare.
Besides, "Are you home?" This question is not about work!
I opened the chat record of customer 13 and read it from the beginning.
I found that this woman was really a serious customer at first.
but after chatting, the painting style changed.
From the normal inquiry at the beginning to the ambiguous answer later.
the two of them even made an appointment to eat and watch a movie.
I think about those times. Chen Haoran always told me that the client wanted to see the house, and then he stayed out all night.
every time I go to work, he arrives early, so I have no doubt.
Now it seems that it's more than just eating and watching movies. I'm afraid these two have slept together for a long time.
In order to verify again, I turned to the normal interface and replied to the rich woman:
"Home, and you?"
"I just got home, too. I'm really sorry, baby. I don't know why my husband came back suddenly. I'll find you as soon as he leaves." Finally, a hug and a kiss were added.
I almost fainted: "Chen Haoran, the son of a bitch, not only eats from the bowl but also stares at the fat in other people's pots.".
But now is not the time to startle the snake. I fought back my anger and replied to the rich woman's message: "Well, be sure to call me when it's convenient for you. Miss you! " Also added a hug and kiss expression.
after that, I deleted my chat record with the rich woman.
I then opened Chen Haoran's phone records.
It seems that not checking his cell phone at ordinary times really makes him nervous and careless.
It was soon discovered that he not only talked frequently with the rich woman whose remarks were "Customer 13", but also had a long phone record with those whose remarks were "Customer 6" and "Customer 8".
And judging from the time and duration of their calls, it is definitely not the ordinary customer relationship:
"You can't make a phone call with an ordinary customer for more than half an hour in the dead of night."
have I met the real Neptune?
what does Chen Haoran take me for? A small prey?
you must not let him go easily!
But I know that a person's strength is meager, so I have to find a partner to deal with Chen Haoran!
a rich woman who has a family and a room can't get out. And Chen Haoran's wife is undoubtedly the best choice.
However, I searched Chen Haoran's mobile phone and WeChat address book, and even logged into his QQ, but I still couldn't find any trace of his wife's contact information.
just when I was at my wit's end, it suddenly occurred to me: doesn't he have children? For so many years, he must have bought online for his children.
So, I opened the purchase records of Chen Haoran Taobao, and entered "children" in the search field, and immediately a bunch of purchase records appeared: children's clothes, children's toys and early education supplies. And the earliest purchase record was several years ago. The recipient is Li Yue, Chen Haoran's wife.
According to the address filled in these purchase records, I quickly wrote down Li Yue's address: "Room 53, Building 2, Unit 1, XX Garden Community"
3. Reached an agreement
?
I got the address of Chen Haoran's home, and I went to his home early the next morning!
It was a girl my age who opened the door. Needless to say, it must be Chen Haoran's wife, Li Yue.
Li Yue looks soft and weak, which is quite different from what I expected.
"Is this Chen Haoran's home?" I asked.
"Yes, he is not at home, and you are?" .
I took out my work card.
"I'm a colleague of Chen Haoran's. He's on a business trip. I have something for you.".
after seeing my work card, the other party invited me into the room.
after I sat down, I didn't talk nonsense, so I just laid my cards on the table with Li Yue.
"Actually, I am not only a colleague of Chen Haoran, but also his girlfriend".
hearing this, Li Yue's eyes widened and his face turned white. I went on to say.
"I'm sorry to disturb your life. But before Chen Haoran kept telling me that he was single, I was with him. "
"I only recently learned from others that he was married."
after that, I showed Li Yue my usual chat record with Chen Haoran.
Li Yue was very angry at first, and his disgust for me could be seen in his eyes.
She thinks I'm a shameless mistress.
But after I open Chen Haoran's chat records with rich women and other women.
She covered her lips, and tears streamed down her eyes.
I think anger and shock can't accurately describe her mood at that time.
After reading it, Li Yue turned his head to one side and said to me, "You go first!" "
I know the sudden news is a little hard for her to digest.
"I must make him pay. This is my phone number, you can contact me at any time! "
with that, I left a note with my personal phone number on the table and left Chen Haoran's home.
A few days later, I received a call from Li Yue: "I want to divorce him!"
I came to Chen Haoran's home again.
I haven't seen her for several days, and Li Yue has become much haggard.
The house is a little messy, too. I know she must have a hard time these days.
Li Yue returned to her room with a wry smile and took out her marriage certificate with Chen Haoran.
"Actually, I should have thought of it. Since the birth of the child, he has become more and more estranged from me and the child. Every time he says that he is busy with work, but I didn't expect him to go out ... like this!"
I'm a little embarrassed. Strictly speaking, I really seem to be the mistress who destroyed other people's families!
although I am also a victim.
But after listening to Li Yue's experience, I feel that I am not too miserable compared with her.
It turns out that before Li Yue and Chen Haoran got married, they didn't know that Chen Haoran was divorced. They only heard from people in their hometown after they got married.
But at that time, the child was born, and what was done was done. For the sake of the child, she put up with it and admitted it.
Chen Haoran's family is old-fashioned and patriarchal.
After seeing that Li Yuesheng's first child was a daughter, she urged Li Yuesheng to have a second child.
But Li Yue didn't dare to take care of two children because she was worried that one person couldn't take care of them.
unexpectedly, Chen Haoran found another way and found another woman.
for a long time, Li yuecai finished her experience.
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
she said, "I'm going to make him pay! ?”
such an answer and determination is what I would like to hear.
Chen Haoran, this love rat can't be cheap.
So, two women who were hurt by the same man reached an agreement and made a plan.
4. I give you a "son"
?
Chen Haoran, don't you want a son?
I'll let you have a son.
When Chen Haoran came back from a business trip, I took out my prepared medical report and said, "Husband! I am pregnant! What should we do?
When I showed Chen Haoran the medical report showing two shoulders, he paused and a panic flashed on his face.
I deliberately asked Chen Haoran with anxiety and anticipation: "I asked my friends in the hospital and said it was a boy, but do you think we can have this child?"
On hearing the boy, Chen Haoran said happily, "Boy? Yes ... of course. This is the crystallization of our love. It's our children. How can you not? "
" But we're not married yet, so I can't have children for you without name or share. "
Chen Haoran's face is firm: "Don't worry, we will register in a few days!"
that evening, Chen Haoran went out on the pretext of receiving customers.
By midnight, news came from Yueh Fa Li.
"Chen Haoran told me about the divorce, and said that he would set me free, but he played the abacus well. Said that the house was his pre-marital property, and he wanted it, and his daughter gave it to me, and then gave me 2 yuan in support every month. I refused! "
According to our plan, Li Yue bit her teeth without agreeing to Chen Haoran's conditions: "Give the child a complete home and never divorce!"
seeing Li Yue, Chen Haoran couldn't help it for a while. But I can't tolerate him taking time to deal with it slowly: "You see that my stomach is getting bigger day by day, and I will be pregnant soon, but we haven't even signed the marriage certificate yet. Do you think this is worthy of me and my son?"
Chen Haoran is at her wit's end. Li Yue said that Chen Haoran, who has always been stingy with her and her daughter, actually increased her bargaining chip: "As long as you promise to divorce immediately. I will give you 4, yuan in alimony every month, plus 1, yuan in compensation. "< P > Li Yue didn't reply to Chen Haoran immediately, and the more anxious Chen Haoran is, the better for us.
I also lit a fire for Chen Haoran and pushed him out of the door when he sent me home:
"When are we going to get married? What do you mean by procrastinating? "
"you go, my son and I don't have to worry about you. If I can't, I'll kill my son! "
then I slammed the door.
Ren Chen Haoran can't ask for anything outside the door.
if you meet him at work, you will think he doesn't exist.
Finally, after making Chen Haoran suffer like a cat on hot bricks for several days, Li Yue and Chen Haoran have a showdown: "Divorce is OK! However, the house and children belong to me, and other compensation can be dispensed with. The monthly support fee is 4, yuan, not a penny less. "
When it comes to the return of the house to Li Yue, Chen Haoran is a little flustered: "I bought that house before marriage, and you didn't give a penny. Why should I give it to you?"
"Li Yue, don't push your luck. If you don't, I'll go to court to sue for divorce, and I'll argue with you for custody of the children. If you have no job and no savings, who do you think the child will belong to? "
Li Yue is really angry and funny, and there is nothing much to do with him. Directly to the photos and records collected in front of Chen Haoran.
Chen Haoran, who was arrogant one second ago, was shocked at first when he saw the evidence, and then he was as white and bloodless as a frosted eggplant!
Li Yue asked him loudly, "I heard that one of your girlfriends is pregnant with your child. You cheated on your wife and had a baby! What do you think the court will judge after seeing this? "
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