What lines are there in the sketch of falling leaves returning to their roots?

"Fallen leaves return to their roots" lines: Characters: A: Xie Xie, tomb buyer, nephew of the deceased's second uncle B: tomb seller, tomb seller C; Uncle Henry's foreign friend (A and bilibili are in front of the cemetery sand table), why hasn't A come yet? B wait a little longer! (Bing Lian gasps and runs onto the stage) Hello, two. Excuse me, is this cemetery 250? Answer yes! C yes! I'm so smart, I got it right as soon as I found the 89th one! Hello, I'm a friend of the deceased. We made an appointment with you on the phone. The deceased asked me to bring his ashes here from abroad and find him a suitable cemetery. That's why I came. Do you understand my purpose? (A and B nod) C! I'm too smart to express myself clearly. One more thing, the deceased asked me to give his legacy to his eldest nephew. Thank you, sir. Excuse me, which one of you is Mr. Thank you? "A second big ye! (crying, stumbling to get the ashes, kneeling and crying) Uncle, why did you leave? Don't tell me, oh ... b Come on, you buy a tomb, there's no need to cry like this! Uncle A, when I was two years old, you went to a foreign country. I just heard that you hung out, so you went to the funeral. (To Uncle B) As a grave seller, my uncle loves luxury and noisy all his life. I cleaned up the whole grave, and every tree was covered with small speakers, playing the sound of traffic for me 24 hours a day. I stripped this row of small party graves, built a row of simple sheds, and gave me fried cakes made in Lamian Noodles, barbecued, pancake-fruited, crispy and ear-shaped. Well, arrange a row of security guards for me. If they have nothing to do, they will be driven away and run around my uncle's grave. Mr. b, you have a lot of extra expenses. Elder A has left. What's wrong with spending some money in junior year? How expensive can your most expensive grave be? Forty-eight thousand square meters. What's the cheapest? B forty-seven thousand Wow, it is more expensive than ours. (turning to Henry) Mr. Henry, how much legacy did my second uncle leave me after he left? Let me tell you something. Your second uncle starved to death abroad. I even paid for the plane ticket. Can you quote me the tickets you saw? A (slowly approaches Henry and puts an arm around him) It's over. Where is c? I tell you, Mr. Henry, this is not my second uncle at all! Didn't my second uncle say he was a millionaire? C can't be wrong. You were shameless just now, just like your second uncle is alive! Your father's name is Xie Tian, your second uncle's name is Xie Di, and your name is thank you. Your whole family is very polite. There are so many polite people. It's all my second and third uncles. You remember today is your thirtieth birthday. He asked me to give you this urn as your birthday present. Happy birthday. I'm sorry for your loss. Your second uncle's wish is to be buried in this mountain in his hometown. Come on, take a shovel and plant this tree of life. Wait a minute. Does it cost money to plant trees? B hey hey. 4444 yuan, this tree symbolizes the rebirth of life. A should be reborn after death, but is it appropriate to plant trees on the urn? In the future, if you are reborn as a vegetable, or if plants fight zombies, you can fulfill the wishes of the deceased, son. A it's not that I'm not round. A broken grave costs more than 40,000 yuan, and people are not allowed to live. B Hey hey, living people don't live in graves, so graves are expensive. Let me introduce you. It is a very suitable grave for the elderly, with a transparent board from north to south, a dark kitchen and a dark bathroom, with no light in all seasons, water leakage in winter and frost in summer, downstairs on the ground, and the surname next door is Zhang. Our greatest advantage is the geographical environment. You see, the yellow highway is on the left, the crane airport is on the right, and the most prosperous pedestrian street in our graveyard is in the middle. It's a dead end. Another good news is that if you can buy the tomb in full now, we will also give you a coffin. I don't know whether you like flip or slide. A Is there a touch screen? I studied it. Why did I stop production? Nobody pressed it. This pagoda tomb is the most luxurious Egyptian style in the whole tomb area. The pyramid symbolizes the wealth and power of the deceased before his death. Hey, if you bury your second uncle here, we will invite professional dancers with exotic customs to accompany you. (Dance) A (Dance) C (Dance) I like this. How about buying this B? Mr. Xie, we danced very well. Dancing is good, but does it cost money? B 4711yuan is not expensive, and I'm afraid I jumped my second uncle alive. B I almost forgot, sir. I take the liberty to ask you, do you have a local account? What is the difference? B If you are local, you can be buried immediately after death. If you are a foreigner, B will die for five years first. After five years, you can buy this grave with a personal tax-paid ticket. I can't buy b, sir, you don't have to worry about that. I have a list here. These are local old ladies who just died. You can choose one to get married, and when the second uncle comes, you can buy a grave. Is it necessary to make trouble in the bridal chamber? B that's very brave, Mr. Xie. I entrust you with two sets of graves, one for my second uncle and the other for us to rent and repay the loan with rent. Your company will call. In this way, please leave us alone and I'll discuss it with my second uncle. Uncle, you didn't mean to make people laugh at me. Do you think I'm doing well? Actually, I can't live without you. You are hungry, so am I. You said you were a sea returnee, and it was romantic to scatter your ashes in the sea. You can still raise fish if you have nothing to do. Doby seagulls had to be buried here after eating seafood. Well, after all, we are related. I'll take you there. You have no money, so you can buy a grave. This check is for my nephew-Xie, I am Xie, one million dollars. Mr. Xie, we have a large tomb here, which is especially suitable for you. Bury your second uncle in it and roll his armor. Oh, my mother, uncle, mother, I'm sorry for your loss. Think about that big grave. I've made up my mind, Uncle. Let's go home. Uncle, this grade is too low. I'll accompany you to see the affordable grave in a couple of days. Hey, hey, you haven't reported my plane ticket yet.

The sketch "Falling Leaves Back to Roots" is the work of the 8th CCTV TV sketch contest, which was performed by Twist FunAge. The sketch skillfully takes buying graves and selling graves as the main line, and reflects real problems such as high housing prices, restrictions on purchases and human feelings, which is ironic. In addition, the work is humorous and the scene is hot during the performance. It was forwarded on the Internet and the click rate continued to climb, which caused a very high response.

Wang Ning, Chang Yuan, and Allen are the performers of Mahuavnag's essay "Fallen Leaves Return to Roots". Screenwriter and director: Yan Fei. Producer: Beijing Mahua Entertainment Culture Development Co., Ltd. The sketch is from the opening segment of the hilarious New Year drama "Count Wulong Mountain Scenic Resort".