If you have any funny jokes, please come in?

This is one of my favorite jokes, because it is not only funny, but also touching. .

Born on December 12, 1983, in an ordinary worker's family. From the age of 1 to 5, he had no idea who he was or what he did. At the age of 6, he was forcibly sent by his parents to Class 2, Grade 1, of a factory-run elementary school. , started his reading career in the children's song "I go to school, I am not late every day, the bird sends me, early and early, why do you carry a small schoolbag". . . .

First grade of elementary school: I took off my pants in front of my female classmates. The female classmates said that I was a little gangster. The teacher's quotation: "Rogues are not scary, but I am afraid that gangsters are uneducated! So you have to study hard. , make progress every day, and strive to be a "literate, knowledgeable, knowledgeable, and talented" four-year-old gangster! "

Second grade of elementary school: Pat the female classmate on the head! Teacher's Quotes: "Don't hit her, don't scold her, torture her with your emotions! This is the highest level of teasing girls. You have to work hard to improve your teasing taste."

Third grade of elementary school: Touching female classmates My face was scratched by a female classmate! Teacher's quotation: "Love is precious, but life is even more valuable. The green hills left behind are not afraid of running out of firewood! Remember, cherish life and stay away from beautiful women!"

Fourth grade of elementary school: Holding the hand of a female classmate, being If you refuse, your academic performance will plummet! Teacher's Quotes: "There are thousands of Chinese sons and daughters, and if one fails, they will be replaced. What you did not pick is just a flower in the spring. The whole spring still belongs to you. Don't be discouraged. You must fight and fail again and again, and fight again and again!"

If you fail to molest a female classmate in the fifth grade of elementary school, you will be molested instead! Teacher's Quote: "Boys are not gangsters and their development is not normal. If you are molested by a girl, it means that you have a better future than the average boy.

In the 6th grade of elementary school, I was sent to the factory elementary school with the 38th place in my grade. I started my middle school career at Nanjie Middle School in the county (with 40 people graduating)

In the first grade of junior high school, I met Jin Yong, Gu Long and other senior masters, and imagined myself as a boy in the book every day. The protagonist has a pure male-female relationship with the MM in the book.

In the second grade of junior high school, he returned to reality and paid attention to the beauties in the class (who already had the ability to appreciate), but the original thoughts in his mind were. , shy, sinful thoughts have sprouted.

In the third grade of junior high school, I truly realized the true meaning of the great grandfather's saying "Study hard and want to succeed every day" (eight-character mantra, you can't ruin it). . . . Fortunately, I calmed down in time, and my handsome face was saved. I studied like crazy and was admitted to the No. 3 high school in the county (there are only 3 high schools in the county, and the first two are the key points...) >

In my first year of high school, it was the first time in my life that I wrote a love letter to a girl in my class who I had admired for a long time, and I felt that she was interested in me. Unfortunately, just when I was frightened and jumping around as sweetly as a deer, my class teacher said. I called to the office and took out the love letter from the drawer...

In the second year of high school, I chose a liberal arts class with a ratio of 4:1 for girls, but the beauties ignored me. . . .

In my third year of high school, I listened to my brother next door talking about college life. On the second day, I picked up the book and started reviewing like crazy, vowing to "work hard" to get into college. , study hard and contribute to the construction of the country." (What a ghost thinks like this, you can fall in love freely in college, live together illegally... and so on

It is undeniable that I am a genius, although I was not ranked first and second 2 choices were admitted (the first one was Tsinghua University, the second was Peking University, which was 3 places behind), but I received the admission notice from XX Agricultural University, so I packed my luggage, jumped on the train, and came to my dream university. Campus. When I start my college career, I want to be a successful man, because successful men are busy during the day and busy at night; failed men have nothing to do during the day and nothing to do at night. Therefore, I want to be successful. Man.

The freshman stood in front of a nude picture in the school art exhibition, and kept telling himself: "This is art, I am doing aesthetics." But the prominent expression of a certain part of the body still betrayed

The person I like has his own name, but the person who likes me is miserable.

So I said: "stay up all night and spend time online, go to bed as soon as I enter class, make phone calls home, and ask for money for everything."

When I was the only monk in the dormitory in my third year, I finally got an official girlfriend. In a sweet relationship, she wanted me to expose my soul, and I wanted her to expose her body. . . . . . (Men love sex for sex, and women love sex. This sentence is absolutely correct)

My grandma is still in the countryside. Ever since I entered college, my grandma always said to me every time I went back: "The pieces of land at home, this yard, and these chickens and pigs are all reserved for you." At that time, I laughed at my grandma for being so stupid. But seeing this year’s employment situation and the graduate students and doctoral students on the street, I finally realized my grandma’s foresight and good intentions...

With my diploma and resume, I almost couldn’t be squeezed out. I came out of the recruitment center without finding anything and got on a man-powered 3-wheeler to go back. The driver of the 3-wheeler asked me: "Are you a graduate of XX Agricultural University this year?" I said, "What a coincidence, I am a graduate of XX Agricultural University in 1988." graduate, and pointed to an old man polishing leather shoes on the roadside: "That senior was earlier, graduated in 1977." I almost fell off the tricycle.

When I got home, I saw that I was laid off. My father is repairing bicycles on the street, and my mother, who is also laid off, is selling fruit. My father smokes inferior cigarettes, and his hands are full of grease. My mother’s wrinkles have already climbed up her face due to the wind and sun, and her hair has turned white. A lot. For the first time in 23 years, I looked at my parents seriously and suddenly felt the urge to cry. "They have been living like this all these years to support me in that damn university." And I…. (People always understand regret after being scarred, but at this time the rules of the game have changed, and this is how life is).

I threw the little red book I had gained in exchange for those four years of youth in the corner, rolled up my sleeves and helped my father push the cart. From now on, I started to pay off the debt.