Here are some painful jokes,

01. Once at KTV, when I asked for a song, I shouted loudly: Please order me a song called "Double Jay Chou" by Zhou Jiegun...

02. Me When a colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he grew up eating. "

03. One day I went to a classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He originally wanted to call him uncle, but he made the mistake of saying, "Dad, come and sit down!" "Cold! Most of the classmates were laughing so hard

04. When I was young, the popsicle and ice cream sellers usually pushed bicycles to sell them. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: The new ice cream is hot. ( I guess my aunt used to sell fried cakes and fried dough sticks)

05. Someone came to my aunt’s house as a guest, and when she just walked in, my aunt happened to go to the toilet. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down. , I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea! "

06. In the Internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted: "Teacher! ”

07. When buying oranges, boss: One dollar and a half per catty. Me: Too expensive, three catties for five yuan. Boss: No, no, no.

08. My friend asked me about my computer Configuration, I said the monitor was a color screen (I originally meant to say LCD)

09.gg handed me a piece of ice cream, I took a bite and shouted: "It burned me to death!" "

10. In high school, everyone is given a name tag... Before one inspection, the head teacher ran to the classroom and shouted loudly, everyone, put your bra on quickly, come check... The whole place was silent...

11. There was a teacher who stayed up all night playing mahjong. When he saw that the blackboard was not wiped, he was furious: "Who is playing banker today?" Don’t even wipe the blackboard! ”

12. Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law applying Dabao and suddenly shouted: “Your skin is so good, why do you still use Hushubao?” "

13. The teacher left homework. I couldn't do it so I copied other people's homework. Then I went to the office to hand in the homework. When I saw the teacher, he said: "I've finished copying!" "

14. There was a teacher in high school whose surname was Jiang, who looked exactly like Luo Jiaying (who played Tang Monk in Journey to the West). I went to ask him a question and blurted out: "Teacher Tang, this question..."

15. Once the leaders of the Education Bureau inspected recess exercises. After the end, the physical education teacher was supposed to announce the "disbandment", but in a moment of urgency, he forgot the words, held it in for a long time, and shouted: "Retreat!" ”

16. One day, a lady took a male friend’s car out of the city. Before getting on the highway, the lady put on her seat belt in time. She saw that the male friend had not put it on yet, so she promptly reminded her. : Hey, you haven’t brought a condom yet. After saying that, the two of them immediately turned red and fainted.

17. I went home to celebrate the Spring Festival in my first year at work. During the period, I visited a female classmate and exchanged greetings. After a few words, he actually asked her in front of her parents: How long is your menstrual period? There was silence for more than a minute.... (Sweat~~ Actually, I wanted to ask how much your monthly salary is)

18. When I was in college, I went to a new small restaurant near the school with some roommates (female). When paying the bill, one of the girls asked the boss (male): "Do you have sanitary napkins here?" "We were all stunned at that time. After a few seconds, we burst into laughter. In fact, she wanted to ask about the bathroom.

Reference: /jingdianxiaohua/2010-09-02/2139.html