I want to hear jokes. Let's all tell jokes! !

She turned to leave, but was dragged back by Wende. "Don't worry, you haven't told me yet. Why do you doubt Qu Jun?"

a: "is my head like a cow?"

B: "Like." DD

-Four nuns

After four nuns die, they have to wait for God to decide whether to go to heaven or go to hell. So four people lined up for God's interrogation. First, God asked the first nun if she had done anything wrong to God before her death, so the first nun said that she had seen a boy's penis. God said, "It doesn't matter, just wash her eyes with this basin of holy water, so she went to heaven after washing." The second nun said that she had touched the boy's penis, and God told her to wash her hands with this holy water, so she also went to heaven. When the third nun was about to say, the fourth nun asked God if she could be interrogated first. God asked her why she did it, and she said, "I don't want to wash my mouth with the water she washed her ass!" \ "

-There are two good friends who are inseparable at ordinary times, and they should wear the same clothes and clothes to show their friendship. One day, when they came to a restaurant for dinner, the waiter brought them two plates of soup, one of which was embarrassed by a dead fly, while the other shouted to the waiter," Why are the two plates of soup different? We want exactly the same. \ "

-The professor in the law class assigned everyone to read articles about civil rights. The next day, the professor asked Tom to name ten civil rights. Tom didn't answer. The professor said, "Well, name five!" " Tom still didn't make a sound, so the professor had to say helplessly, "You only need to say one item to calculate that you passed." Tom replied, \ "I have the right to remain silent! \" \ r% a-One day, and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. took a disdainful look at 8 and said: If you are fat, you are fat. Why wear a belt! 6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't play handstand!

— The husband stayed out all night again, and the wife couldn't stand it any longer. Early in the morning, the husband pushed the door into the house, and his wife knocked him out with a wooden stick that had already been prepared. When he woke up, he said apologetically, "Dear, I'm sorry, I forgot you were working the night shift! \ "

why do Haier brothers only wear underpants? Because they don't have Q coins!

The son asked his father, "Am I stupid?" . Dad said, "Silly boy, you are stupid!" " .

The customer said in surprise, "Your thumb is soaked in my soup. \ "

The waiter said," Nothing, I'm used to it. It's not hot. \ "

On the 34l bus, it was crowded.

I saw a man and a woman close to the door. The man wore a pair of glasses and carried a leather bag, and his face was awkward. The two talked unscrupulously:

Man: Is your husband not at home tonight? (It's much quieter around ...)

Woman: Well, he's out of town this week.

Man: So can we play tonight? (The uncle next door turns to look ..)

Woman: What do you want to do? (The aunt next door also turned her head ...)

Male: Same as before, I'll open the room (the middle school students next door also turned their heads ...)

Female: Gee, I won't come if you open the room, or I'll open it (everyone is surprised ...)

Male: Ok, open it, I'll come in and kill you (the people around me gasped ... Don't beg for mercy if you can't stand it (BS shines in the eyes of the masses)

Male: I can only accompany you for an hour no matter how fierce you are, and I have to accompany my girlfriend at night (murderous in the carriage ...)

Female: Ask her to come and play with me (Faint...)

Male: She can only fight landlords, but can't play bubble halls ...

Traffic happens. He had a brainwave and shouted: "I am the son of the injured, please make way!" As expected, the onlookers got out of the way. When the reporter looked over, it was a dog that was crushed to death.

First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "It's hard for 6 years. I have no food to eat, and I never throw out my nose excrement.

Second, there was a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview was:" Only one of them washed his hands, so the rich man kept him. But one day,

the rich man found that he came out without washing his hands.

The rich man asked him why the servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

Third, a man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What can I do for you? ""I want to buy dog food. \ "

" We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog. \ "

" Where is such a rule? \ ""This is the case with goods on sale. \ "The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but

the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before he bought the dog food. A few days later,

the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food. We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat.

"It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time, and finally he had to go home and bring the cat to buy cat food.

A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman. "What can I do for you? \ "

" Just put your hand in and you'll know. "The salesman put his hand in:" What is it? It's sticky. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. \ "

Fourth, a man went to visit his grandmother with a friend. When he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat the peanuts on the coffee table and

ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts."

Grandma replied, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the chocolate out of them. Old, cough. . .

5. Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that

this dish was sold out. "Really sold out? \ "he asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see,

the last copy was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. \r%A The gentleman has eaten almost all his meals, but the \ spicy vermicelli pot \ is still full. That man thinks that a gentleman wastes delicious food,

so he goes to the gentleman, points to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asks, "Do you want more, sir? \ "

The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up a spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half of it.

Suddenly, he found a tiny mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its fur. A burst of nausea,

the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was having a stomachache there,

the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I was just like this ... \ "

6. On this day, the hotel owner was making a tour in the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "can the boss give me a toothpick?" \ "

The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came, also asking for a toothpick.

The boss thought, Why does this beggar want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came.

The boss said to him, "Are you here for a toothpick, too? \ "The beggar said, \" Someone threw up, but I was late < P >, and the first two beggars had eaten all the food, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw?

Seven, the boss and the second child are flying, and the second child is airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag was full, so the boss had to get it.

When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I saw that this bag was full, too. < P > I had to drink half a bag again, and they all vomited."

if you see that you haven't vomited yet, then I have to admit that you are a master, and I'm going to do my best.

8. One day, the eldest brother and the second brother went to the theater again, and saw them arguing about the plot development halfway,

and made a bet on it. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser needs a sip of what's there.

"Unfortunately, the boss lost, so he took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the following plot. This time, the second child lost.

Only the second child picked up a spittoon and gulped for fifteen gulps. The boss was shocked and admired, and said to the second child,

"You are amazing, you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls! \ "

The second child shook his head." It's not that I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick, and I really can't stop biting.

},