Send a joke to a girl every day.

(1) An old man drank too much, went home and went into the pigsty by mistake. He lay next to the sow and said, "Wife, give me a glass of water." The sow snorted, and the old man said, "If you don't fall, you won't fall. Don't be charming. " Feel it casually and say, "Buy leather or double-breasted."

(2) When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked, "Do you want to measure light, backlight or full light?" Grandpa said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

(3) One day, a barber hit a sugar-coated gourd seller. Arriving at the police station, the policeman asked the barber, "Why did you hit the sugar-coated gourd dealer?" The barber said, "TMD, I am perming my hair in the house, and he is shouting' perm' outside!" " "

(4) A man went to the toilet and didn't pull it out for a long time. Suddenly I saw a man rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I haven't had time to take off my pants yet!"

(5) When a foreigner was traveling in Laiwu, Shandong, he met an old lady teasing her cat and asked in blunt Chinese, "What are you doing, old lady?" The old lady replied, "playing with the cat!" " "Foreigners are so scared that even old people can speak English! She gave her a piece of dark chocolate. The old lady thought it was dried sweet potatoes and said, "I have it in Laiwu!" " "Foreigners dizzy!

(6) The young couple fight and throw pillows downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by. He was very happy and picked it up at once. Then he flew down a quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: "Brother upstairs, please throw that woman down."

(7) A young woman took out the garbage and accidentally slipped in the garbage. She was about to climb up and was held in her arms by an old man who picked up junk. The old man sighed with emotion: "People in the city just can't live. If such a good daughter-in-law says no, she won't. "

(8) A big toe suddenly turned green, and the doctor diagnosed it as cancer, so it was removed. A few days later, the second toe turned green and was removed. Three days later, my feet were blue and I had to be transferred to a big hospital. The final expert consultation diagnosis is: socks fade.