Who has a funny joke about Sichuan dialect?

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The February 512 earthquake brought great pain to Sichuan people, but after the earthquake, optimistic and open-minded Sichuanese once again showed their personality of being good at teasing in front of Chinese people. Here, I will share some funny jokes collected with you, so that you can immerse your sad hearts in comfort ~ (Since you speak Sichuanese, of course, Sichuanese is indispensable, and some of them can only be understood) The streets are full of people early in the morning. 1896617 A man next to me is calling his friend and saying, "Shit, give me back the whole earthquake package. It is both an earthquake and a storm! " "

2, eat some barbecue first, or you will be buried 100 hours or more. Wow ... eat more, so you can create miracles of life at any time. A survivor of Wenchuan earthquake was rescued by Russian rescue team. The reporter interviewed him about his feelings. The survivor said, "The earthquake in dog days is so fierce! When I was dug up and saw foreigners, I thought I was shocked abroad. A man was buried for more than 50 hours and was still awake when he was rescued. When the reporter went to interview, he saw the reporter holding a notebook and forgot to ask the reporter, can your notebook access the Internet? The reporter answered yes. He said: Then help me see if the market has gone up. " During the earthquake, four old ladies were playing mahjong in a tall building in Chengdu. One of them said, "Why do I feel the building shaking?" Another old lady got up and looked out of the window: "Nothing, nothing, play cards quickly, the other buildings are shaking." 12 In June and May, my friend's mother and some old women went to see a real estate. Just after seeing the house on the seventh floor, they met an earthquake and the house was shaking. A few people have no idea. One of them even said to the salesgirl, whatever house you built is hanging to the seventh floor. A little higher will not make people dizzy. If there are quality problems, forget it! 7. On the bus, during the earthquake, the driver turned his head and shouted at the passengers: Who is rocking the car? 8. The earthquake woke my mother-in-law. I don't know what happened. I went to the balcony (13rd floor) and saw piles of people downstairs. Later, people downstairs saw my mother-in-law and said, you are still an old woman with great courage. How dare you watch the scenery from the balcony when the earthquake comes!

9. My father was sleeping when he was suddenly woken up. My first reaction was that my mother woke him up on the rocking bed and got angry. My mother knew that there was an earthquake, and she was so scared that she crouched under the covers. My old man sat up, thinking that my mother was playing hide-and-seek with him, and said, "Don't hide, old woman, I see you." They are all over seventy years old.

10, my mother was alone in Suining during the earthquake. I finally got in touch with her half an hour after the earthquake. She said, "The washing machine was washing clothes just now, and I was playing computer. The bottle on the table fell to the ground and broke into pieces. The mirror in the closet also fell to the ground and broke. My mouse also fell to the ground. The washing machine you bought me, alas, threw a dress and made a scene! "

1 1, I was at work when the earthquake occurred, and I was signing a contract with a client when I shook it up. A colleague suddenly stood up and said, "Oh, wow, there was an earthquake." 1 sec later, I threw the contract on the table and shouted "earthquake, run" to everyone.

12, I ran downstairs and saw a man wearing underwear and holding a towel quilt on the bed. I was just about to laugh at him when I suddenly found a baby in the towel quilt ... I was so touched. ...

13, the male students in our class are also very funny. They were taking a nap and heard that there had been an earthquake. Their first reaction is: get up, get dressed, turn on the computer, plug in the USB flash drive, then find the graduation thesis that has just been completed, copy it to the USB flash drive, close the USB flash drive, unplug the USB flash drive and turn off the computer. Then run. Another boy with a roommate has run downstairs in his underwear. Directly to the downstairs, looked at the classmate reverently, speechless.

In the afternoons of 14 and 12, we watch CDTV or SCTV. During the earthquake at 2: 30, someone photographed people running out of their houses in panic on Chunxi Road. A mall security guard pointed at the camera and said, you already know? Why did you bring a camera?

15, on the day of the earthquake, I was at home and panicked. I didn't expect an earthquake. I thought the building where I lived was going to collapse. Suddenly got up and ran downstairs, hiding in the opposite downstairs, passing by many people. At the end, I found that all the people in our building ran to the opposite building and stood downstairs, while all the people in the opposite building ran to our building and stood downstairs, staring at their own building with their heads held high! I'm so ignorant when I think about it now. 16, my mother is very tough. When everyone was eating last night, they were so nervous these days that they lost their appetite. My mother said a classic sentence, and everyone's appetite immediately opened-"Eat quickly, eat more, eat more bowls, so that you can work miracles at any time."