Who has some jokes to tell?

One day, an Italian man and a French man's wife were about to give birth, and they were pacing anxiously outside the delivery room. "It's unlucky," said the Italian. "It happened while I was on holiday." "You think this is bad luck!" The Frenchman snapped, "I'm still on my honeymoon!" " 2. A foreign girl married to China. At breakfast, she was told, "Dip it." She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!" Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? " One day, the beautiful queen of Egypt fell in love with an ugly giant. The short queen boasted and said to the high priest Liz, "Look, what a perfect combination we are. Our children will be tall and handsome in the future. " "Are you? What if your child is short and ugly? " The little god was silent for a while and said. 4. A newly married couple is sitting on the beach watching the sunset. The wife casually grabbed a handful of sand and casually said to her husband, "It's strange that no matter how tight I hold it, the sand always leaks through my fingers, and only a little remains." The husband replied, "honey, don't mention my meager salary at this beautiful moment!" " "One day, three ugly people were chatting together. They wanted to use an idiom to describe themselves as extremely ugly. A said: My appearance is too arbitrary, so I am ugly. B said: that's not as good as my appearance. I am uglier. C said: don't argue, but my appearance will never happen again, so I am the ugliest! 6. In the market, a customer asked, "Hello! How much is this cat? " "Sir, 100 francs." "But yesterday you only wanted 20 francs." "Because this morning it ate my parrot worth 80 francs. "7. Little Mary went to her grandmother's house in the country. One day, she was playing in the garden and saw a peacock. She has never seen such a bird before. After watching it for a while, she sneaked into the house and shouted, "Grandma, come and see it! There is a hen blooming in your house. "8. A British soldier wanted to find an excuse to leave the army. So he went to the military doctor and said, "Too bad, my eyesight is getting worse and worse. Is there any way? "The doctor looked at him for a while and said," Can you prove your poor eyesight? The man looked around, pointed to a nail on the wall in the distance and said, "Doctor, do you see that nail on the wall?" ""I can see that. " The doctor replied, but I can't see. "said the man. 9. An old but still energetic golfer went to a guide and asked if there was a golf course in heaven. The wizard said he would check it out and give him an answer the next day. The next day, the old man came again. The wizard said, "I have good news and bad news." The old man said, "Tell me the good news first. ""There is a wide golf course in heaven, "said the wizard." The golf course is covered with green lawns and equipped with the best equipment. "The old man then asked," now tell me the bad news. "The wizard said," It's your turn to serve at ten o'clock next Sunday morning! " 10. One day, a beautiful stewardess asked a young foreign couple if they needed to prepare breakfast for their children in the spirit of customer first. The male customer unexpectedly replied in Chinese: "No, the child ate human milk." In order to further show sincerity, the stewardess said without hesitation, "Well, if your child needs a meal, please let me know at any time." The male family was stunned at first, and then burst into laughter. The stewardess was awake and blushed, and she was embarrassed by her gaffes. 1 1. Once at the door, Jessica reminded her new boyfriend, "You can kiss me now, but then I have to slap you because my father is watching us from the window." 12. Before the opening of the theater, a group of middle-aged and elderly American women were chatting hip-hop and were very lively. One of them felt a little sorry for his companion's noise, so he apologized to Mr. Brown beside him: "Sorry, we were so happy. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I have known them for decades, and their husbands have all passed away. They call themselves happy widows and travel abroad by themselves every year. I have always wanted to join this group, but I was not qualified to join until this spring. " 13. A lazy person who does nothing will become a problem if he lives for a long time. The neighbor thought for a moment and said, "Then you should look at the grave, because no one is more relaxed than this." But it wasn't long before he came back. He was very angry and said to his neighbor, "I'm so angry, I quit!" " ""why? "The neighbor asked in bewilderment." It's unfair. They are all lying down, and I am the only one standing! 14. On the park bench sat a beautiful young Mrs. William with a lovely baby in her arms. A middle-aged gentleman came over. "What a lovely little girl! The gentleman took the baby's hand and said, "It's white and tender, like a charming lady's hand." Mrs. William pulled the child into her arms and said coldly, "Sir, you made two mistakes: first, the child is a boy, and second, you held my hand." 15. The priest advised a poor man to believe in religion. After describing the scene of heaven and hell, the priest asked, "Would you rather go to heaven or hell after you die?" The poor man sighed and said, "Well, look, let's go to a place where corn flour is cheap." "