I'm bored and want to hear some funny jokes ~ ~

Fire brigade: Where is the fire? Alarm person: My home. Fire brigade: I mean, where? Policeman: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

You should wear school uniforms when raising the national flag in junior high school, but some people always don't wear school uniforms, pants or clothes. Before each flag raising, the headmaster said with a megaphone, "Some students don't wear clothes, some students don't wear pants, and some simply don't wear clothes or pants!" " ?

I met a girl who I had been longing for for for a long time and came out of the bathhouse. I wanted to be close. For a long time, I said, "Are there many men in your bath?" ?

Obviously, I'm calling from home. As soon as I opened my mouth, I asked, "Dad, where are you?" The parents on the other end of the phone froze. Answer: "I am at work!" " ?

I once bickered with my roommate in the dormitory. He said he couldn't beat me and scolded me: "You are my grandfather's son!" " " ?

Nine out of ten households in a residential area have installed security doors, but only one has not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on the door without the security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you!

Comments on Hua Mulan joining the army. This story must be false. Eating, drinking and sleeping together will definitely be seen through! B: Stupid! If you share a bunk with her, will you report it? ?

Hungry and doing well is called losing weight; If you pinch well, it is called massage; Being in a daze, doing well is called profound; Being lazy and doing well is called enjoyment; Persistence is called persistence when it is done well.

A plane flew over a mental hospital. Suddenly the pilot smiled, and the stewardess asked curiously, why are you laughing so happily? The driver said, they will be mad when they know that I have escaped.

The new teacher went to the children's house as a guest, and the mother said, "Go kiss the new teacher." The son said, I won't go! Dad kissed her just now and she slapped her in the face!

The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. His father said, let go, there is no meat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night!

The history teacher asked: There are two things in the hands of the Statue of Liberty in the United States, one is a torch held high, and the other is a book on the chest. Can that classmate say what their morality is? A student stood up and said, study hard even if there is a power failure!

Before he died, the old man confessed to his wife: I once had an affair, please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can close your eyes! Which of our children looks like you?

When they were hunting, they suddenly saw a tiger and ran away. Halfway through, one person said, Dude, I can't make it. Let's fight with the tiger! The other party said, don't be silly, I can't outrun the tiger and I can't outrun you!

Father: Son, don't go to school today. Your mother gave birth to two little brothers for you last night. Just tell the teacher. Son: I only said that I gave birth to one and the other. I want to stay until next week when I don't want to go to school.

There is an ugly girl who has never been married and hopes to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, Go, don't take the car!

In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

The 5-year-old son looked at his mother in a miniskirt: You are so sexy. Mom: What are you talking about? Who taught it? 10-year-old son shouted at his brother: How many times have I said it? Don't mess with married women