Selected English jokes in the first volume of the seventh grade

Cold jokes are different from ordinary jokes. With its unique joking mechanism, it can instantly create a special atmosphere. This article is the first English joke in grade seven. I hope it will help everyone!

A magical talking dog A man and his dog walked into a bar. The man declared, "I bet you a round of wine that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yes! Of course ... go. "

Man: "What is building a house?"

Dog: "the roof!" "

Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"

Dog: "Rough!"

Man: "Who is the greatest player of all time?"

Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Give money. I told you he could talk. "

The bartender was very angry at this time and threw them both out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looked at the man and said, "Or is the greatest player Manto?"

British joke: Good calculation "Sorry, madam, but I have to charge you $20 for pulling out your son's tooth." "Twenty dollars! Hey, I heard you say that you only charge four dollars for this kind of work! " "yes." The dentist replied, "But this young man made a hullabaloo about and scared all the other four patients out of the office."

How about this? I'm sorry, madam, but we have to charge $20 for pulling your child's tooth. ?

? Twenty dollars! Why? Didn't you say it was only 4 yuan?

? Yes? The dentist replied:? But when the child shouted, all the other four patients were scared away. ?

English joke: The police chased after a man driving home late one afternoon. He was speeding. He noticed a police car with a red light in his rearview mirror. He thought, "I can run faster than this guy", so he stepped on the gas pedal and the race began. Cars galloped along the highway at speeds of 60, 70, 80 and 90 miles per hour. Finally, when his speedometer exceeded 100, the man thought of "whatever" and gave up. He parked his car by the side of the road. The policeman got out of the patrol car and walked to the car. He leaned down and said, "listen, sir, I had a bad day. I just want to go home." Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go. "

The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago, my wife eloped with a police officer. When I saw your patrol car in the rearview mirror, I thought you were the police officer and you wanted to give her back to me! "

A couple went to the hospital to have a baby together. When they arrived, the doctor said that he had invented a new machine that could transfer part of the pain from mother to father during childbirth. He asked them if they would like to have a try. They are both very much in favor of it.

The doctor first turned the knob to 10%, explaining that even 10% might be more painful than what the father had experienced before. But as the delivery went on, the husband felt good, so he asked the doctor to continue and raise a grade. Then the doctor adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband is still Fei Ling's. The doctor checked her husband's blood pressure and pulse and was surprised by his health. In this case, they decided to try 50%.

The husband continues to feel good. Because it obviously helped his wife a lot, he encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him. The wife gave birth to a healthy baby with almost no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman had died on their porch.

Once upon a time, there was a flood, and everyone went to a safe place except one. With the beat of water, he climbed onto the roof. At his feet. A helicopter flew over his head and dropped a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply impressed and said, "it's okay!" The Lord will save me! " So the helicopter flew away. The water continued to rise, and a boat came to him, but the man shouted again, "No! Go away! The Lord will come to save me! " The ship flew away again. Now the water is getting deeper and deeper, which is dangerous, so the helicopter came back. At the same time, the man repeated, "I don't need to be saved! My Lord will come. " The helicopter reluctantly left. The rain continued, the water continued to rise, and the man drowned. At the gate of heaven, this man met St. Peter. He asked in confusion, "Peter, I have always been a loyal person. Why didn't my Lord save me?" St. Peter replied, "have pity!" He sent you two helicopters and a boat! "