Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Po's translation
Po's translation
There is a man named Sun Zichu in the west of Guangdong. He is a famous man. He was born with six fingers, simple and honest, and slow in speech. He always believes others have lied to him. Sometimes, when there is a geisha in his seat, he turns away when he sees it from a distance. People knew that he had such a temper, so they tricked him into asking prostitutes to tease and force him. He was so ashamed that his face was red to the neck and his sweat was dripping down. Everyone laughed at him for this, described him as stupid, and told stories everywhere, and gave him an ugly nickname "Sun Chi".
There is a big businessman in this county, Weng, who is richer than princes. His relatives are all rich and powerful families. The wealthy businessman has a daughter named Po, who is very beautiful. Her parents are busy choosing a husband for her. Many children of noble families rushed to ask for relatives, but businessmen didn't take a fancy to them. It happened that Sun Zichu's wife died, and someone played a trick on him and advised him to propose marriage to Dafu merchants. Sun Zichu didn't think about his own situation, so he asked the matchmaker to go. The businessman also knew Sun Zichu's name, but he was too poor to agree. When the matchmaker was about to leave, he happened to meet Po. When Po asked what it was, the matchmaker told him what he wanted, and Po jokingly said, "If he can cut off that extra finger, I will marry him." The matchmaker told this to Sun Zichu. Sun Zi said, "It's not difficult." After the matchmaker left, Sun Zichu chopped off his sixth finger with an axe, bleeding profusely, and he almost died in pain. A few days later, as soon as I got up, I went to the matchmaker's house and showed her the hand with six fingers cut off. The matchmaker was shocked and went to the rich merchant to tell Po. Po was surprised, too, and made a joke that Sun Zichu had to get rid of that infatuation. After hearing this, Sun Zichu argued loudly that he was not demented, but he didn't have a chance to confess to Po. On second thought, Po may not be as beautiful as a fairy, so why should he raise his worth so high? Therefore, the idea of relatives and friends also cooled down.
It just happened that Tomb-Sweeping Day arrived. According to the custom, this day is a day for women to go for an outing in the suburbs. Some frivolous teenagers also travel together, commenting on women and teasing them at will. A few literati friends also forced their grandson La Chu to go, and some laughed at him and said, "Don't you want to see your lovely beauty?" Sun Zichu knew that everyone was teasing himself, but because he was mocked by Po and wanted to see what kind of person Po was, he happily walked and watched with everyone. I saw a woman resting under a tree in the distance, and a group of hooligans surrounded her like a wall. Friends said, "This must be Po." I ran over and saw that it was Po. Look carefully, it's really beautiful and very moving. After a while, more and more people were watching, and Po got up and left quickly. Everyone is fascinated and commenting, and it is almost crazy. Only Sun Zichu is silent. Everyone walked away, but looking back, Sun Zichu still stood there, shouting that he would not agree. Everyone came to pull him and said, "Did the soul go with Po?" Sun Zichu still doesn't talk. It is not surprising that everyone is usually dull and silent because of him. Someone pushed him, someone pulled him and went home.
When Sun Zichu got home, he threw himself on the bed. I can't afford to fall asleep all day, like I'm drunk, and I can't wake up when I shout. The family thought he had lost his soul, and it didn't work to call him in the wild. Beating hard and asking him, he said vaguely, "I'm at Po's house." When I asked him again, I was silent again. My family is afraid and I don't know what is going on.
At the beginning, when Sun Tzu Chu saw that Po had left, he was very sad. He felt that his body had gone with her, and gradually leaned against her belt, and no one scolded her. So I went home with Po. Sitting and lying with Po, they make love with Po at night, which is very affectionate. But I feel very hungry and want to go home, but I don't know the way home. Every time Po dreams of having sex with someone and asks his name, he always says, "I am Sun Zichu." Po is very strange in his heart, but it is inconvenient to tell others.
Sun Zichu lay for three days, and he was about to die. His family was anxious and afraid, so he sent someone to the merchant's house to beg for Sun Zichu's soul. The businessman smiled and said, "How can you leave your soul in my house when you have no contact at ordinary times?" The saying begged, and the merchants agreed. The witch came to the merchant's house with Sun Zichu's old clothes and straw mats. When Po learned of her purpose, she was so scared that she wouldn't let the witch go anywhere. She took the witch directly to her room and left after being greeted by the witch. As soon as the witch returned to the door of Sun's house, Sun Zichu on the bed in the room had groaned. After waking up, he can clearly tell the name and color of Po's indoor furnishings, which is exactly right. When Po heard this, he was even more afraid, but he also felt Sun Zichu's kindness in his heart.
After getting up, Sun Zi Chu can always be thoughtful and in a trance, whether sitting or standing, as if he had lost something. I often inquire about Po, hoping to see Po again. On the day of the Bath Buddha Festival, I heard that Po was going to burn incense in Shuiyue Temple. Sun Zichu went to wait by the roadside early in the morning and looked dizzy until noon. Po saw Sun Zichu from the car and lifted the curtain with his hands and stared at him intently. Sun Zichu was even more moved and followed. Po suddenly asked the maid to ask his name. Sun Zichu said it with great eloquence, and his soul was even more shaken. He didn't go home until the car left.
When Sun Zichu came home, his old illness recurred, and he didn't eat or drink. He shouted Po's name in his lethargy, hating that his soul couldn't go to Po's house like last time. He kept a parrot at home, and suddenly died, and the children played with it by the bed. Sun Zichu saw it and thought, if I can become a parrot, I can spread my wings and fly to Po's room. I was thinking about it, and my body really turned into a parrot, flying out and flying all the way to Po's room. Po happily caught it, tied its legs with ropes and fed it with hemp seeds. The parrot suddenly spat out a voice and said, "Sister, don't tie me up, I'm Sun Zichu!" " Bao got a fright and untied the rope, but the parrot didn't fly away. Po prayed to the parrot and said, "Your affection has been engraved in my heart. Now that we are different people and birds, how can Liangyin last contact? " The parrot said, "I have fulfilled my wish to be by your side." It won't eat when others feed it, and it will only eat when Po feeds it. Po sat down and the parrot squatted on her lap; Po lay down and the parrot snuggled up to her. After three days, Po felt sorry for him and quietly sent someone to see Sun Zichu. Seeing Sun Zichu lying stiff in bed has been dead for three days, but his heart is still warm. Po prayed again, "If you can become a human again, I will stay with you even if I die." The parrot said, "You lied to me!" Po swore at once. The parrot squinted as if thinking something. After a while, Po wrapped his feet and took off his shoes under the bed. The parrot rushed down and flew away with his shoes in his mouth. Po quickly called it, and the parrot had already flown away. Po sent an old mother to visit, and Sun Zichu really woke up.
The people in the Sun family saw a parrot with an embroidered shoe, so they fell to the ground and died. They were surprised that Sun Zichu had woken up. I started looking for shoes when I woke up, and everyone didn't know what was going on. Just in time, Po's old mother arrived. When I saw Sun Zichu when I entered the room, I asked him where his shoes were. Sun Zichu said, "Shoes are the pledge that Po swore. Please tell her for me that my grandson will never forget her golden promise." When the old mother came back, she told her what she had said. Po was even more surprised, so she asked the servant girl to deliberately reveal these things to her mother. Mother inquired in detail before she said, "Sun Zichu is still talented and has a good reputation, but he is as poor as Sima Xiangru. I have chosen a son-in-law for several years, and what I finally got is actually like this. I am afraid that I will be laughed at by the dignitaries. " Po refused to marry him because of his shoes, so his parents had to listen to her. Someone ran to tell Sun Zichu the news. Sun Zichu was very happy and recovered immediately.
po's parents want to bring their grandson Chu in for adoption. Po said, "A son-in-law should not live in his father-in-law's house for a long time. Besides, his family is poor, and if he lives long, he will be looked down upon by others. Since the daughter has promised him, she has no complaints about living in a thatched cottage and eating rough rice. " Sun Zichu then went to marry the bride, and they were as happy to meet each other as a separated couple reunited.
Since then, Sun Zichu's family has received Po's dowry, which has increased their wealth and property, and their life has improved. Sun Zichu is just obsessed with books and doesn't know how to manage his family and finances. Po is a man who is good at living alone, so he doesn't have to worry about anything at home. After three years, the family is richer. But Sun Zichu suddenly got a fever and died. Po cried very sadly, and the tears in his eyes never dried. He didn't sleep, didn't eat rice, and didn't listen to anyone's advice. He hanged himself at night. After the maid found it, she rushed to the rescue and woke up, but she never ate. Three days later, the family gathered relatives and friends to prepare for Sun Zichu's funeral. Hearing the sound of moaning from the coffin, Sun Zichu came back to life when he opened it. I said, "When I met the King of Yan, the King of Yan said that I had a simple and sincere life and ordered me to be a Cao. Suddenly someone said,' Sun Bucao's wife is coming.' Yan checked the book of life and death and said,' She is not ready to die yet.' Others said,' I haven't eaten for three days.' The king of Yan turned around and said,' Your wife's righteous behavior touched me. Let you be reborn.' So I sent the groom to lead the horse and sent me back.
Since then, Sun Zichu's health has gradually returned to normal. This year coincided with the township entrance examination. Before entering the examination room, a group of teenagers teased Sun Zichu and drew up seven strange test questions together, tricking Sun Zichu to a secluded place and saying, "This test was obtained by someone through a relationship, and I told you secretly because we were friendly." Sun Zichu believed it, pondered it in the dark and prepared seven eight-part essays. Everyone laughed at him secretly. At that time, the examiner took into account the disadvantages of plagiarism when using the past questions, and deliberately deviated from the routine. The questions were handed out, which were exactly the same as the seven questions prepared by Sun Zichu, and Sun Zichu won the first place after having obtained the provincial examination. In the second year, he won the Jinshi and entered the Hanlin Academy. The emperor heard about Sun Zichu's strange things and called him in for questioning. Sun Zichu explained them all truthfully. The emperor was very praised and happy. Later, I summoned Po and rewarded him with many things.
Yishi said: People who are temperamental are very focused, so bookish people must be good at writing, and artistic people must have excellent skills. The people who have achieved nothing in the world are those who claim to be smart (not stupid). And those who lose everything because of whoring and gambling can also be regarded as "idiots"! It can be seen that making mistakes because of cleverness is the real delusion! (that is, cleverness is mistaken by cleverness), and where is Sun Zichu stupid?
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