rich joke

1, you should eat more bitterness when you are young, and you will get used to it when you are old.

2. The three most uncomfortable things about going to college are: watching the results of Xueba show, watching couples show their love, and watching local tyrants show off their wealth; Three things that are even more uncomfortable than this are: watching Xueba show love, watching local tyrants show results, and watching couples show off their wealth.

The most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, and then it wouldn't come back with me. The most loyal thing is meat, you can't get rid of it!

As soon as I got home, my wife whispered, "Are you tired when you come back?" Me: "A little tired." She asked again, "Are you hungry?" Me: "I'm starving!" The wife said softly, "Then take a rest and cook quickly!" " "

5. Three magic weapons to establish friendship between women: praise each other's clothes; Share hot gossip; Agree that a man is a special scum.

6. I always thought that money could buy everything, but after more experience, I gradually found that money was not enough!

7. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short. Embrace your chubby self in danger.

I quarreled with my girlfriend today. My girlfriend spit all over my face. I touched it habitually! Girlfriend: Don't you like me? Me: No, I just want to touch it evenly.

9. Compare your grades when you were a child. Compare wages when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!

10, in fact, ancient people are optimistic, and when they have a little leisure time, they wonder how to live forever. Modern people calm down and collapse in bed after a busy day. There are only four words in their hearts: I don't want to live.

1 1, since parents can play WeChat. I am not sentimental, sad, loving, and take photos without revealing my clothes. The whole person is full of positive energy.

12, quarrel with your boyfriend, don't blame him in a hurry, reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, think about how to pass it on to him.

13, in love, you should let your boyfriend cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and make money.

14, stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find a right one of the four options in the exam, let alone1400 million options!

15, sometimes, when I say "I'm fine", I just hope someone can look into my eyes, hug me tightly and say "I know you're not fine", and then take out a bunch of big bills and put them in my arms.

16, my son was found playing games by his mother. Mom is very angry. Mom: "if you don't work hard, you will be as useless as your father in the future." If you find a bad job, you can't get a good wife. " Dad: "After all these years, you finally admit it."

17, my dad drank too much at night and was taken home by several uncles. They put my dad on the sofa. I gave my uncles a ride when they left. After the delivery, just after I came back and closed the door, my father gave me a big slap in the face: coming back so late!

18, growing up, I mastered a special skill and didn't learn other skills. You can sleep well during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

19. Recently, someone always humiliated me and said: How did you get so thin? Don't you have some stinking money? Isn't it great to have a good date? Oh, I am so angry!

20. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date means showing feng shui to the grave, confession means digging the grave, marriage means double suicide, empathy means moving the grave, and a third party means robbing the grave.