Long humorous joke story

Long humorous joke story

Long humorous joke story 1:

1. After watching a movie and going home with my wife, I met My enemy was looking for me to seek revenge. My wife bravely stood in front of me and said to my enemy: "You want to kill my husband? You have to step over my body!"

The enemy was stunned and said to my wife. :?Isn’t this deliberately trying to embarrass me? Even Liu Xiang can’t get over your body. ?

2. My wife is fat. Yesterday she came over to me very excitedly and told me that she had lost 4 pounds.

I looked at her bloated figure, patted her and comforted her: "Don't worry, you can't see it!"

3. I had a dream all night, and everyone around me was I turned into a zombie and sent messages to my husband all morning asking for comfort.

He replied dully: Even if I become a zombie, I won’t eat you, don’t be afraid.

How touching are you! Excited reply: Can you control yourself from eating me?

Then I waited happily for the next sweet sentence, and received the reply in ten seconds: Too oily I can't eat anymore.

4. My wife was queuing up to check out at the supermarket. Someone behind her stared at her trolley and said, "You are so fat, but you still buy so much food." ?

She: Yes, I can’t help but eat it every day. I feel so complicated. ?

The man said: ?You can’t eat like this. If you get fatter, you won’t be able to marry a wife. ?

Wife: ?I am just a woman. ?

5. My wife is relatively fat. She said there today: "Hey, it would be great if I could time travel to the Tang Dynasty. When I get there, I will definitely be a noble concubine or something, and then I will live in fine clothes and fine food." Waited on by a crowd. ?

After saying that, I glanced at him: ?What a beautiful idea. With your tonnage, don’t think about whether the time traveling machine can carry it?!?

Long humorous joke Story 2:

1. On the way back from buying fruits, two beauties asked their husband for directions. The husband enthusiastically informed me, and then proudly said to me: I don’t know what’s going on lately, but there are always beauties asking for directions. I asked for directions.

I said: Maybe you look like a guide dog?

2. My wife baked cookies for the first time and they were burnt. I encouraged her and said, "My wife is great." Are you making Oreos?

She was a little embarrassed: ?How can there be?

Me: ?What my wife makes must be the best!?

She I get excited when I am happy: Then eat them all. ?

3. Dear, your mother and I fell into the water at the same time. Who did you save first?

Idiot, I must have saved you first. ?

?Dear, I am so touched, why did you save me first, and not your mother?

?Because I rescued you first, the water level dropped, and my mother also He was saved. ?

Husband died?

4. Wife: ?Husband, am I beautiful?

Husband: ?Beautiful!?

Wife :? Am I virtuous?

Husband:? Virtuous!?

Wife:? Why did I marry you because I am so good? ?

Husband: Because only I can see your shortcomings as strengths. ?

5. My wife thought the comment I gave her on QQ was too ugly and asked me to change it!

I thought about it and wrote "second-rate wife".

She looked at it and asked me seriously: "To be honest, do you have a wife who is a good guy?"

Long humorous joke story three:

1. Wife:? Husband, I am unexpectedly pregnant!?

Husband:? How is that possible! I have taken safety measures!?

Wife:? Nonsense! What if the child It's yours, is it still an accident?

2. My wife is pregnant, and she is domineering and gesticulating all day long. I complained and muttered: "Take a chicken feather as an arrow!"

My wife was silent, lowered her head and said to her belly: My son, your father said you are a chicken. ?

3. I was walking on the road with my wife just now, and suddenly my wife’s satchel accidentally fell to the ground. She slapped me directly on the shoulder: “I have my mobile phone in my bag. Why did it break?” What to do?

I looked at her in horror: "You dropped it yourself, why did you hit me?"

She said quietly: "I'm used to it." ?

4. After dinner, my husband was peeling apples for his newly pregnant wife to eat, but he accidentally cut his hand. He said to his wife: Wife, my hand is injured. You can wash the dishes tonight.

Wife: There are band-aids in the medicine box, please put them on quickly.

The husband looked at his wife very moved, and the wife said: Go wash the dishes after posting. ;