Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - When you are old, I will push the wheelchair and laugh.

When you are old, I will push the wheelchair and laugh.

1. Society is hierarchical and many things are unfair. Don't complain, because complaining is useless.

2. Working overtime until midnight every day, the leader finally gives the female colleague who looks like Joey Wong a raise, and arrives late and leaves early.

Kindness is useless, you have to be beautiful and rich.

The lifestyles of the rich are various, but the poor are almost the same.

When you reach the bottom of your life, you haven't contacted your fair-weather friends for three days and three months.

6. If you want to live well, stick your face in your crotch. You can despise it in your eyes, but you can't underestimate its gold content.

7. You can't judge a book by its cover.

Thanks to my imperfection, I can see who is really good to me.

9. The devil is not born, he is forced out by the hearts and faces of fallen people.

10. I love you not because I like you, but because I know it's easy to fall asleep watching you.

1 1. The strength of a man is the RMB in your pocket.

12. In the midst of prosperity, friends met us; In adversity, we met our friends.

13. Never give a friend who has betrayed himself a second chance to betray.

14. In a mental society, money brings people. You can be expensive or free. I am not a nobleman, but not every man has a chance.

15. Except for marrying you, transferring money, saying that I like you and thinking about you are all false. If you are caring and careful, you'd better make a lot of money.

16. Only after your efforts did you find that the IQ gap is insurmountable.

The most heartfelt negative energy sentence, every sentence is very realistic and explicit.

0 1

You did your best,

Maybe not as casual as others.

02

Failure is not terrible,

The terrible thing is that you still believe this sentence.

03

Do you think rich people are happy?

Their happiness is beyond your imagination.

04

The reason why you drink chicken soup,

Because the meat was eaten by others.

05

All roads lead to Rome,

Some people were born in Rome.

06

Don't lose heart,

Life is like this, ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs.

07

Someone appears in your life,

I'm telling you, you're too gullible.

08

More lonely than eating hot pot alone,

A person has no money to eat hot pot.

09

Sometimes if you don't work hard,

I don't know what despair is.

10

There must be pure friendship between men and women,

Because every girl who knows me,

They all say that you can only be friends with me at most.

1 1

Gates dropped out of school to start a business and became a rich man in the world.

But I'm leaving Harvard University.

12

Don't retouch the picture endlessly.

You are ugly in reality,

We all know that.

13

I am most afraid that you will be mediocre all your life.

And comfort yourself that this is common and valuable.

14

Many people say that the reason for choosing Beishangguang,

It is a good opportunity for development.

But when they say development,

Actually, it means working.

15

When you feel ugly, poor and useless,

Don't despair, because at least your judgment is right.

16

Although others seem to be smooth sailing,

In fact, they are also smooth sailing behind them.

17

No phobia of choice,

Not just because of poverty.

18

You can't wake up people who don't return your messages,

But red envelopes will do.

19

Although you are single,

But you are as fat as two people.

20

Good girls only get good things,

Pretty girls have everything.

2 1

All you know is that people look better in makeup than you do,

Without knowing it, they took off their makeup,

Not only is it better than you, but your skin can also be blown.

22

Girls who love to laugh are not too bad luck.

Honestly,

If a girl is unlucky,

I don't know how she can laugh.

23

People like me who don't even know many famous brands,

Sometimes you don't even feel that others are showing off their wealth.

24

If you like someone, you will confess.

What if I become a spare tire?

25

Kindness is useless, you have to be beautiful and rich.

26

God is fair,

Gave you an ugly appearance,

Give you a low IQ,

So as not to make you look incongruous.

27

Why are you always jealous of talents?

Because nobody cares how long a fool can live.

28

Being ugly is a disease,

How else can a plastic surgery hospital be called a hospital?

29

Put a mirror in the toilet of the school building. You think you should tidy up your appearance! ?

It is wrong to let you know that you have to read more books if you are ugly.

30

Some people are often scolded for sleeping late every day.

Really too wronged, pigs get up earlier than you.

3 1

Many things in life will eventually get better with time.

Like many people who were just fat, they became fat after a long time.

32

These days are confusing and dark,

If you survive, there will be another darkness waiting for you.

33

Life is not just now,

And an invitation from my predecessor.

34

Aren't all the sweet words you've heard paving the way for sex?

35

Who says you don't have perseverance,

Aren't you single for decades?

36

Women chase men's barriers, unless that man has a crush on you,

Otherwise, it is basically barbed wire, or the kind with electricity.

37

I'm not teasing you because I like you,

But because I know you look easy to sleep.

38

When you fail,

You will be surrounded by a group of people who care about you.

They will ask you what happened,

Listen to your failures,

Then leave with satisfaction.

39

When you are too old to walk,

I'll push you to the square in a wheelchair every day,

Let you watch me dance with other old men.

40

Some people start to love you,

Some people just come to give you lessons.

4 1

If a person answers you in a few seconds,

It only means that this person is playing with his mobile phone.

Forty two.

You don't think he can express it,

In fact, he just doesn't love you.

43

I used to think that people who rely on relationships must be very incompetent.

After contact, I found that people are better than you in everything.

Forty-four

It took you a long time to find out,

The IQ gap is insurmountable.

45

If you like someone, you have to confess.

Not rejected,

You really think you are a fairy.

46

Girls who don't work hard,

There will be endless stalls and endless vegetable markets.

Hard-working girl, you have no time to shop,

Because you can only work overtime, take-out and visit online stores!

47

Cars and horses used to be slow,

The letters are far away,

Just enough to love someone for a lifetime,

But it can accommodate many concubines.

48

When I lost sleep in the middle of the night, I was already asleep.

When you are lonely, others have a new love.

When you are nostalgic, others have long forgotten you.

So don't stay up late because of him.

Forty nine

You are only in your twenties,

It's normal not to meet someone you like,

In the future, you will find that you may not see it again.

50

People nowadays don't leave their mobile phones every day.

I have received your letter,

Loneliness is normal,

There will be many boring days in the future.

Clear, realistic and penetrating words.

Is it really necessary to change? It is said that height is not a distance, and age is not a problem. Now I understand that everything that is uneven is a problem. The innocence of the past is really romantic, and the explicit reality is the problem of the future. Too many voices in my heart have made me crazy, too unhappy, too depressed, too much, too much, I hope reason can overcome sensibility!

Clear, realistic and penetrating words.

First, since you like living a lie, don't expose it. If you don't want to see things too explicit, you can only accept the cruelty of reality!

Second, there must be pure friendship between men and women, because every girl who knows me says that she can only be friends with me at most.

Third, alcohol can't anesthetize yourself, so stay awake. Stay awake. No matter how explicit and cruel the reality is. It doesn't give you a chance to pretend to be depressed and tell your sadness. Take every day seriously and seize every opportunity to get together.

Fourth, I don't deny that what he said is very realistic and explicit, because this is reality, because I don't know anything, I don't know ~

Fifth, it is said to be a comedy in Zhashui Baidu Encyclopedia. It is really ironic, realistic and explicit.

Six or two hours of film is really far-fetched. This should be the most beautiful and meaningful film directed by Feng recently. Very realistic and explicit, but also makes people feel very sad. I deeply remember that only those who are not treated well can truly understand what kindness is. May we keep our youth in our hearts forever! !

When I had to bend down to ask for money on the way to chasing my dreams, I found that the reality was so explicit and I was so helpless. I like to think too much recently, and my heart is resistance and fear. I don't know how to calm such a confused mind. If the mentality is not adjusted well, it will lead to all kinds of physical torture, very decadent and very tired.

Eight, suddenly understand a lot of things that I didn't understand before, understand the pains of my parents, and understand the explicit feelings and feelings of real girls.

Nine, I talked with Qicai's brother-in-law for a long time and gave me the most straightforward advice when I was in a dilemma. Although it is realistic, I can't refute it. After all, I put thousands of dollars of possessions aside. In a few hours, I will pick up my relatives in the summer. Take time to rest.

I am not a self-disciplined person, so I can't get up, sleep and eat on time. I prefer a casual life, but it is not realistic to live for myself. Because life is too explicit.

Xi。 It turns out that I am sometimes afraid to listen to songs, and when I hear the familiar melody, it takes me into a certain scene, full of beautiful fantasies and explicit ideas.

The more you look at it, the more you care about it, and the more you love it. The end result is that the more you fall, the more painful it is. There is no fairy-tale love, only explicit reality. Strangely, in this world, the opposite of love is usually hate. When I don't love you, you are nothing. You can never wake a person who pretends to sleep.

13. People who have never tried the pain of failure will never understand the pain behind success.

Fourteen, the obvious confusion of reality makes me collapse inside. The enthusiasm you have worked so hard for so long is hard to get. I really don't have the courage to let you stay with me. I really don't want to choose another life. In fact, more often, I am willing to accompany you to suffer. All kinds of gesture languages at home make me very tired. Should I give up or not?

Fifteen, my friend asked me to talk, but I told her the real explicit words, which may hurt people's hearts and feelings. This is how I tell others the cruelest things, instead of comforting others. A colleague and friend said something the other day. Although it was a joke, I was deeply impressed. She said it was boring for you to joke with you, so you have to tell the truth. Yes, that's right. I don't like lying, I don't enliven the atmosphere, and I don't do anything against my will. Just like another friend asked me, why do you love him so much, for so long, and still like it but not together? Yes, I still like him. I just don't love him that much. Love can make people grow. I have my own principles, even if I love him so much, I must learn to let go. So I am so cruel to my friends and lovers, and I am a bad person. But the only hope is that you all live better than me, really, better than me.

Sixteen, now this society needs people with brains, no matter how developed their limbs are and how simple their minds are, they will eventually be bruised and bruised by routines.

17. And don't always talk about reality. You've never been in society. You don't understand. You are too young. You'll understand when you meet it. The problem is that you only heard it from others. Have you really experienced anything? There is nothing wrong with simplicity ~

At the age of eighteen, my first half life was so perfect that there was no such person in reality or people in reality were more likely to be lucky or not so lucky. If Zijun and He Han fall in love a little bit, the plot is completely reversed. Human nature in reality is more explicit and real than TV series.

19th, the attack ate the incumbent Bai Yueguang, Bai Yueguang casually hook up and cheat. The most contemptible thing is that he swayed from side to side after cheating. After going to Bai Yueguang, he felt that he was still a good incumbent. Many double terriers never make me feel depressed, but this story makes me sick. Perhaps this situation is too realistic and explicit, and people can't always deceive themselves.

Find yourself quickly, don't get lost, you have lost your mind. Even if the reality is as cruel as the naked eye, it is really only rational to face it and take the initiative to solve it. Really, you have to believe this and don't do it again. You make yourself look down on it, you know?

I thought I was the only one you would treat me with your heart, but the reality is so explicit.

It is said that reality is unpredictable, so many things are still willing to stop. For uncertain people and things, trust is the heart. If you want to weigh the pros and cons, you always believe that people who feel at ease can only rely on eternal conscience.

What impressed me most about Wolf Warriors 2 was the minutes before he went to prison. The ironic and clear reality is exactly the same as reality.

24. Love is what everyone is looking for. Reality is something that everyone wants to escape. Love is a fantasy, and reality is the truth. No matter how beautiful the fantasy is, it will eventually be shattered by the truth. Although money is vulgar, it is what everyone needs. Without money, no fantasy will come true. With money, the truth does not necessarily become a fantasy. The terrible reality is because it is too real and explicit. Even if you are the Monkey King, you can't escape this Tathagata.

Twenty-five, now I don't care whether I am introverted or extroverted. A long time ago, I read an article by Mr. Shang, which wrote that if I want to be a shining person, then naturally I don't have to take the initiative to socialize and give up useless socializing. Although these two sentences are explicit in reality, they hit the side that people have been avoiding. After listening to the class, I finally know why some seemingly extroverts can't make friends, because they will use interrogative sentences, provoke others from time to time and make jokes without boundaries. So this is called low quality.

Twenty-six, after interviewing Rasty's Nie-style 90, I feel that personal struggle can change the fate of life in this way, and I also lament that class leap can be so realistic and explicit.

27. In fact, I envy Yin Tianchou for saying to Liu Piaopiao: I support you. I didn't understand the meaning and weight of this sentence until now. The more you understand, the more you dare not easily agree and say it. In fact, the more you love, the more you fear. I'm afraid I have no ability to comfort you when you are wronged, and I have no ability to make you willful. Sometimes if you don't understand the love in life, you always feel that the reality is too explicit, but only when you really step into this society can you understand how big and complicated the world we are going to face. A simple I love you contains the responsibility you will face. If you love someone, you have to give her the life she wants. Sharing weal and woe should never be an excuse for not trying. Let's go

I have been kept in the dark for a long time. Even if the reality is explicit enough, I don't have the courage to admit that I was hurt inadvertently.

Twenty-nine, you don't have to dig people, but if you dig people, you will complain more. You don't have to finish what you say, but you won't have any friends after you finish. You don't have to be modest to respect others. Modesty means less bones. People don't have to retreat, and it's hard to retreat. The reality is very explicit, but I think it is too beautiful.

Thirty, how many times do you have to encourage yourself before you make up your mind to get along with reality carefully, but why does reality destroy your confidence so blatantly? I hate all chance and necessity. I would rather never see myself and the truth clearly, at least I can deceive myself forever. I really hate it. I hate it. I'm sad, but Lily won't break down. Lily is always the strongest lily.

31. Many times I don't want to visit my relatives, because they always talk to me about some very realistic and explicit topics, criticize my thoughts or guide me forward. But at this age, I have my own opinions and dreams, and I am unwilling to give up my freedom. I have told myself countless times that it is enough to listen to these words, and there is no need to care too much, but for very sensitive people, it often keeps them awake all night.

Thirty-two. It's really hard to fit into that circle. Because of the differences in interpersonal circles, the people who were reprimanded at noon today were all fragments. Because of the different status, although it is very realistic, it is so explicit when it comes out, and it is very uncomfortable in my heart, but it is very helpless ~ My brother is right ~ It is a place that is always backward ~

Sometimes we are willing to lie to ourselves knowing it is a lie, just to find an excuse to feel at ease. Slowly, we will believe this lie, how terrible. So, why don't we want to hear the truth from the beginning? Although the truth is clear and realistic, it is better than the last regret.

Thirty-four, chat with three years later tonight, pour a pot of cruelty and happiness. But if life is like this, I'm not afraid of being strangled. I always feel that we are becoming more and more explicit, but in fact, the monsters of that era are waiting, and everyone will be like that. The complex emotions on their faces should be what I look like three years later.

35. I used to be an idealist, resisting the rough reality. Later, people I met kept giving me lessons, which made me a qualified social person and began to face all kinds of explicit reality. I think the significance of growing up is that you have to learn to accept what you can't change and what you shouldn't, just as you don't forget your active attitude.

Thirty-six, life is far harder and worse than you think. It is a glimmer of life after extreme hardship, because compared with suffering, it is particularly precious and beautiful. Imagine, if there is no suffering, how can you value this little happy chicken soup after drinking too much? The obvious reality is that chicken soup is far from being cured.

Thirty-seven, my mood is as low as my body temperature. I am sad that I wasted a day on a subject. See the progress. I'm much worse, and I'm getting irritable again. See through this explicit society. It would be great not to flatter. Better than not being sad.

Thirty-eight, I saw a video the other day. A woman said a very explicit but realistic sentence: the person who once let you into the body can't even get into the circle of friends now.

Thirty-nine, this year, friends in the circle of friends got married in waves. Thinking of the failure of the postgraduate entrance examination last year, I frantically forced Mr. Liu to get married. I think I was just escaping from reality. We always like to describe love as sacred, but we regard marriage as an obvious reality. We have been looking forward to marriage for too long, but we are also afraid that I will become a worthless member of this secular world. I have always believed that the most important person in our life is not our parents or children, but our lover. The basis of marriage must be love, so that we can care about each other. A person's life is too long, and one person's recklessness should be tolerated by two people. It is incredible to think about the rest of his life. However, love is so wonderful that you will laugh because of his happiness and also because of his. Cherish the woman who once married you for love. Don't let the reality of life torture her to forget love. I hope all fans can help each other and love life.

40. Baoding High-tech Zone, a place far away from the noisy urban area, has a unique place. When I saw it, I couldn't help but think of the plan of an experience hall in our company, but it also has the same effect. In this explicit society, we no longer believe in fairy tales, but have long been overwhelmed by noise and roar, full of fear and empty eyes, and blank and anxious faces in our minds overlap. Through these designs with ulterior motives, let us see the sunshine, take a deep breath and enjoy the peace ~

Forty-one, chatting with others recently, I feel that everyone is so realistic and explicit, and I feel that I have been subverted. Do you really show your value through these needs, as my colleague said? I feel inexplicably sad in my heart.

Forty-two, I've been watching the first half of my life recently. Very nice. Very realistic but not explicit, the details of the screenwriter are in place, and the workplace drama is also sloppy. I am really Malik Yili, a good actor, a good wife and a good mother.

Forty-three, the reality is very explicit, let's put our ideals aside. Make more money.

Forty-four, forget it. It's bullshit. Then it's bullshit. Walking at night is suspicious. I didn't check it anyway. This kind of thing is rare, but it's good. When what you write makes you feel beautiful, there will be no leftovers. There are so many people and so many monsters in human skin. I don't hate this feeling at all. Very realistic and explicit. Liangzhi is so black-bellied, and he also has his evil roots. Xue Hui has her beauty and her ugliness. A seemingly ordinary person, seemingly smooth life, is also his failure. In his eyes, there is such a doomed love, but in others' eyes, it is just a stupid and unproductive despicable mentality. I remind you, the harder you work, the luckier you are. Even if your family is rich, you will be defeated by a mediocre person.

Social reality quotations that hit people's hearts directly, to be honest, are sad.

1. You don't know how hypocritical society is until reality slaps you. You don't know that people are awesome until your so-called friends hurt you.

2. Learn to think clearly, understand your own smallness and avoid narcissism. Don't be strong in everything, because you are not as strong as you think!

Don't tell others about yourself. Do you know that some people have their heart to heart and have ideas behind them!

I only believe in three kinds of people in my life, one is the one who shares joys and sorrows with me, the other is the benefactor who helped me up when I fell, and the third is the one who stuck by my side when I had nothing.

Some people don't have a chance to meet, but they are hesitant when they have a chance to meet. It's best not to meet. Some things have never had a chance to do, and I don't want to do it again when I have a chance. Some words have been buried in my heart for a long time and I have no chance to say them. When I had a chance to say it, I couldn't say it. Some loves have never had a chance to love, and they stopped loving when they had a chance. Sometimes, life is always ironic. Some things last a lifetime!

6. Don't complain about life all day, life won't know who you are, let alone listen to your complaints!

7. Hungry, you have a cake, and you are happier than me. Half, this is called a brother; Two-thirds, this is a couple; All for you. These are your parents. But hiding the cake and saying that you are hungry is society.

8. There are always some words in life with tears in your eyes, but you should listen with a smile; There are always moments in life when you are deeply grieved, but you must get through it!

9. Every relationship has a shelf life. Once the shelf life is over, it's like rotten tofu. Although it can be processed into tofu brain to eat, it tastes strange. Changed is changed.

10. To be a woman, you must stand up to lies, perfunctory, cheating and promises. Finally, we will hide our tears with a smile. We would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than men's broken mouths!

1 1. Don't just go online and entertain yourself. Read more books and improve your inner temperament. Boys should not only understand the NBA, but also pay more attention to the world dynamics; Girls should not only know fashion, after all, long hair and short knowledge are easy to be deceived.

12. Don't think that hiding in school can ignore the cruel reality of the outside world. Competition is getting more and more fierce: more people, but less work. Although the school is very gentle, you can't let it live a life of drunkenness. Otherwise, after a comfortable meditation, a person has stepped on his head when he wakes up, only to find that he has no strength to stand up. This is called a happy death!