Tell me some jokes.

1. The tortoise was bathing in the river and was seen by the toad.

Tortoise: Haven't you seen a beautiful woman like me? Look, your eyes are popping out. ?

Toad: Sister, don't tease me. Can't you see I have goose bumps? ?

2. The oriole saw the weasel looking for food and said, "You thief have been sneaking around all day, losing the face of the old Huang family." ?

As soon as the voice fell, the oriole was shot down, and the weasel scolded, "Silly X, you don't even know how to sweep pornography now!" " ?

Dragonfly made a girlfriend "cicada". Mother dragonfly asked anxiously, what does she do? ?

Dragonfly: That's a singer! ?

Mother Dragonfly: Singer? I've dug tunnels before! ?

4. An ant quarreled with the crow in the tree! ?

Ant: Come down if you dare! ?

Crow: Come up if you have the guts! ?

Ant: OK! You wait for me, and you will know! ?

Crow: What do you want?

Ant: I'll let all my brothers shake you down and kill you immediately! ?

5. Two dung beetles discuss the welfare lottery. A dung beetles: If I win the grand prize, I will buy all the toilets within 50 miles of Fiona Fang and eat enough every day! ?

B dung beetles: You are so vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day! ?

6. The male butterfly sings to the female butterfly, "You are my lover, a woman like a rose!" " After singing, I flew to pick roses. ?

Then there was a scream, and Mother Butterfly sang, "Honey, fly slowly, be careful of the thorny rose in front!" " " ?

7. A pair of ducks went to play by the river and saw the frog couple hibernating in the cave by the river. Drake: Look, how happy I am. Mother duck said to the drake: Don't look, it's the big boss, living in a villa, honeymoon, let's never think about it in this life! ?

8. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home. ?

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. ?

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river. A big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit.

If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you! ?

First, the most "warm" relationship?

A woman and her lover were lying in bed when she suddenly heard the voice of her husband opening the door and entering the room. "quick! Stand still in that corner! " The woman quickly smeared baby oil on his whole body, then sprinkled lime powder and whispered to him, "Stand still and pretend to be a plaster statue." When her husband came into the room, he pointed to something in the corner: "What's that?" The woman said quietly, "Oh! It's just a plaster cast. There is also one in Cai's bedroom, which I think is quite beautiful, so I also got a home decoration. " The couple never mentioned the plaster statue again until they went to bed. At about two o'clock in the morning, the husband got up and went to the kitchen to eat. When he returned to his room, he handed plaster like a sandwich, holding a glass of milk in his hand, and said, "Come, have something to eat!"! Don't be like me. I stood in Cai's house for three days and didn't even drink a mouthful of water. " ?

Second, the most "funny" affair?

Husband and wife have lovers outside, often go out to seek excitement by themselves, and rarely spend the night together. One day, both of them were at home, feeling a little guilty, so they were gentle. I don't want the two of them to sleep until the early hours of the morning, when my wife suddenly turned over and sat up and said loudly in her dream, "Oh, no, my husband is back!" " My husband got up at once, quickly picked up all the clothes and jumped out of the window?

6. The most "inexplicable" affair?

There is a seaside village where most men often go out to sea and stay for a long time. Almost everyone in the village has an affair, but after the affair, they will go to the priest to confess. After a while, the priest suggested to the women: "In the future, we will call the word infidelity depravity. Just say [fall] and I will know! " Later, the old priest retired. Before he left, he specifically told the village chief to tell the new priest the meaning of the word "depravity", but after the new priest took office, the village chief forgot to tell the new priest about it. Women still go to the priest to confess, and every day someone tells the priest that I fell down today. Because too many people fell, the priest went to the village head. He suggested that the village head should strengthen road construction to prevent too many people from falling down frequently. Unexpectedly, the village chief smiled. Father unknown so, seeing the village chief laughing so happily, said angrily, "What are you laughing at! The village chief's wife has fallen three times this week! " ?

8. The most unexpected affair?

There is a middle-aged couple. They have two very beautiful daughters, but they are always eager to have a son. They finally decided to make one last attempt. After months of hard work, God was rewarded. My wife was pregnant and gave birth to a healthy little boy nine months later. The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his newborn son, but he was frightened by what he saw. His son is the ugliest baby he has ever seen. He ran to see his wife and told her that he could never be the father of the child, and asked her fiercely, "Are you stealing a man behind my back?" His wife smiled sweetly at him and said, "Not this time." ?

9. The most "tragic" affair?

Lao Zheng was lying dying in his hospital bed, and his wife Xiao Chan was sitting by the bed, holding his hand, tears streaming down her face and mumbling prayers. Lao Zheng opened his weak eyes and looked at Xiao Chan. He opened his pale lips and said softly, "Dear Xiao Chan, …" Xiao Chan covered her mouth and said, "You are tired! Sleep quietly, be good, don't talk! " Lao Zheng said weakly, "But I have something to confess to you!" "There is nothing to say! You are tired, you'd better have a good sleep! " Shaw war sobbed and said. "no! Don't! Don't! I must repent, and I will die peacefully. I slept with your sister, your best friend, your best friend's friend. " Xiao Zhan sobbed softly: "I know, that's why I want to poison you!" " " ?

10. What is the most "handled" affair?

Two women were drinking in the suburbs until dawn. On the way back, they were impatient, so they crustily skin of head and walked into a cemetery on the side of the road. Because she didn't bring any toilet paper, the first woman took off her underwear, wiped it and threw it away. The second woman found a wreath beside her, so she tore off the couplets and wiped them. Shortly after the two women came home, their husbands exchanged phones. "It seems that we have to be careful. They must have something last night. Come back and find that my wife is not wearing underwear! " "I'm worse. I found a note on my wife's ass that said' I will never forget you'! " ?

Mr. Zhang, who graduated from the police academy, has been married for two years. He always thinks that his wife is a little different and suspects that she is having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang will always find a message from a stranger on his wife's mobile phone. The content of each message is the same: "Brother Zhao wants you to do something for me." ! ?

At eleven o'clock in the evening, Mr. Zhang caught the cheating wife and the man who was having sex. ?

Mr. Zhang cursed: You underestimate me. Do you think I don't understand that information? I 10: 30 take off your bra?

The tortoise wants to eat zongzi on Dragon Boat Festival, and the snail is asked to buy zongzi. Two hours have passed, and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise is in a hurry and scolds: I will starve to death if I don't fucking come back! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go! ?

One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right! ?

Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300 thousand, but it needed funds. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells! ?

The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! ?

9. Someone raised a pig, annoyed him and abandoned it. However, the pig knows the way home, and it is useless to abandon it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It roared, "put it on the phone, I'm lost!" " ?

10. Elephants accidentally stepped on an ant nest, and their nesting ants climbed onto the elephants. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it". ?

1 1. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? " ?

13. Xiaoming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" ?

Dad: Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?

15. A person who just learned a foreign language was walking in the street that day and accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot. The man quickly said, "I'm sorry." The foreigner also said politely, "I'm sorry, too." Hearing this, the man quickly said, "I'm sorry, three." Foreigners have become stupid. The man said helplessly, "I'm sorry five?

17. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit. ?

18. Someone went to Shanghai on business and lost a dollar in the street. The police said, "We will definitely help you find it." When the man went again in January, the street where he lost his money was dug up to build a road. He couldn't help but sigh, "Everything in Shanghai is true"?

19. One day, an ant was sunbathing when he suddenly saw an elephant coming slowly. It got up and straightened its front legs. The rabbit next to you is busy asking what you are doing. The ant said, "Shh ~ ~ ~ ~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him"?

20. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! " Father earthworm said weakly ... suddenly want to play football?

2 1. The tortoise and the hare raced ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too .. So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him. Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast ...

22. One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." The mother said: "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out ... The mother shouted nervously again: "Son! Come out ~ There's a fire, and you're still inside … "The son said," I'm taking off my socks …?

23. A man went fishing by the river, first wearing a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ so he changed earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ In a fit of pique ~ he took out 100rmb and fell into the water and cursed, "*-# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! ?

24. My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but I forgot to bring my handkerchief and I have been sniffing hard. The Chinese teacher suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher is > He said, "Who steals noodles in class and makes so much noise?" " ?

25. The patient said to the dentist, "You really make money. It only took you three seconds to earn $3. " ?

The doctor replied, "If you like, I can pull it out in slow motion." ?

26. "Narcissism" means that you must be reborn as a woman in your next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that the restaurant ordered two dishes and ate the first one: "Is there anything worse in the world? ! "Eat the second" shit! There really is! " "Silence" means that the judge asks: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money?

27. The Weaver Girl came down to the world to take a bath and got to know the Cowherd, and performed a love story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so we must take a bath outside ...?

28. Xiaoming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming. "What did ants say?" Xiaoming looked blank ... and then said, "The ant didn't say anything ..."?

29. A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, "Can you be quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied, "I didn't make any noise, but now it's tuned to vibration!" " ! ! " ?

30. Mother Mosquito: "What's the matter with you, son?" The little mosquito cried and said, "Today, the little fly bullied me and called me a bloodthirsty vampire." The mother mosquito said, "Ignore it. Their home is not a good thing either. They all grew up eating shit?

3 1. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou pottery jar. Yesterday, I went to the appraisal column, and the expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou did this belong to?" This is from last week! ?

32. Son: "Mom, I failed the math exam today." Mother: "Why, what's the problem?" Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said =6. " Mother: "That's right, and then what?" Son: "The teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "Isn't this the same?" Son: "That's what I said ...?

33. A prisoner was shot. Bullets are produced in a county, and the quality is not good. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... at this time, the prisoner cried, "You strangle me, it's so scary!" ?

34. The father told his son a story: "Uncle told Xiaoyang to cut wood, but Xiaoyang cut down his uncle's favorite peach tree. Uncle was angry but didn't scold him. Do you know why? " The son replied, "Maybe it's because Xiaoyang still has an axe in his hand, so he dare not scold him, right?"

36. Men can't find a girlfriend, so they have to tell their fortune. The fortune teller said: you are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life; Not that person's eyes lit up: then I should have it all my life? The fortune teller said, hey, you'll get used to living alone for the rest of your life?

37. When someone was eating, he couldn't see a piece of beef in the beef Lamian Noodles, so he pointed to the bowl and asked the boss: Why is there no beef in the beef Lamian Noodles? The boss said flatly, don't take it too seriously. You still expect a wife who eats old woman's cake?

38. Three mice tasted the wines of the United States, Japan and China, respectively, and the mouse who drank the American wine fell down after three steps; The mouse who drank Japanese wine fell down after two steps; The mouse drinking China Erguotou, with a kitchen knife in his hand, shouted, "Where's the fucking cat?" ?

39. While eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called the waiter and asked, "Why isn't the braised fish I ordered ready?" "Just a moment, sir." "What? What are you waiting for? " The customer was very angry and said, "Is your fish fresh?" ?

4 1. A man wants to jump off a building, and his wife who just came back shouted, "Husband, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" Hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing by said, "madam, shouldn't you really threaten him like this?"

42. The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, "You farted." The section chief said, "I didn't fart." Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting, "You can't afford a big fart. What's the use of asking you? " ?

43. A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Dear, why are you so kind to me?" The cat smiled and said, "You will know when you are fat?

44. Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally: "I am very creative. Ugliness is not my intention. God, don't lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to set off the beauty of this world! Actually, I'm really, really creative ...?

45. Friends go climbing together. When they reached the top of the mountain, a girl shouted to the beautiful mountains and rivers: motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law

46. I bought two puppies before, one named you "face" and the other named myself "ass"! It's not two days since Face died in a car accident. Every time I see your ass, I think of your face! If your face were still there, it would be as big as your ass now! ?

47. After Tang Zeng drove Wukong away, he met the monster again. He must say a spell to call Wukong back to help. Soon a voice came from the air: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is out of service. Please try again later. ?

48. When the mouse went to the toilet, he was too scared to say a word when he saw the bear. The bear looked at the mouse and said, "Can't you shed your hair?" The mouse shivered and said nothing. The bear asked again, "Can't you depilate?" The mouse trembled and said, "No …" The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped his ass and left! [Use the mouse as toilet paper ..?

On panda's birthday, I told you: I made two wishes, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to get a color photo?

5 1. Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, which is different from you who live in a dormitory?

53. The production team bought a donkey and died in a few days. It happened that the female donkey was in heat. The staff of the production team called the captain of the production team who was away on business. "Captain, the female donkey is in heat and the male donkey is dead. Shall I buy a donkey first or wait for you to come back? " ?

54. Little dung beetles: Mom, why do we eat shit? Dung beetles's mother: This child, how can you say such disgusting things while eating?

55. A meteor flashed in the night sky, and I immediately made a wish that you would become more beautiful. Who knows that just after I made my wish, the meteor came back with a whoosh and said to me, "Brother, are you deliberately embarrassing me?" ! ! ?

56. Give me a canteen steamed bread as a fulcrum, and I can tilt the earth! & lt understand, the steamed bread in this canteen is too hard ... >?

57. I saw that "the food in the canteen can only be fed to pigs, but it is returned to us?" I thought of a sentence. A classmate went to the canteen to cook and asked the chef after dinner, "Master, why is there rice in your sand?" ! ! " ?

60. When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and one tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed. ?

6 1. A boy gave his friend a nickname, called Fat Pig. The girl cried to the teacher, who promised to criticize the boy. The next day, the teacher said in class, "A boy is so rude that he gives others nicknames casually. Can't others just call him what he looks like? " ?

62. A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and suddenly ran over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog looked at it dismissively and said, idiot, you see clearly, I am plain clothes! ?

The seven fairies bathed in the lake, but Bajie couldn't see them in a hurry. ?

Tang priest solemnly shouted to the lake: benefactor, be careful of crocodiles! ?

Seven fairies ran ashore naked. ?

Bajie lamented: The IQ of leaders can't be surpassed?

Four priests Tang went to travel by plane, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, the Tang Priest said, let's answer the question, and jump if we can't answer it.

Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky? ?

Wukong: One.

Tang Priest: Here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky? ?

Friar Sand: One.

Tang Priest: I'll give you one too.

Bajie is having fun, such a simple question.

Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky? ?

....？

Bajie jumped.

Before long, the four of them flew to travel again. They crashed on the way and there were still only three parachutes.

They went on answering questions.

Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded? ?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Priest: Here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War? ?

Friar Sand: 2.5 million people.

Tang Priest: I'll give you one too.

Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people? ?

..... Bajie has to jump again by himself.

The third time, the four of them went to travel by plane again and had an accident on the way.

Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself.

Then jump.

Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, how many parachutes are there this time?

1. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and roared: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost! ?

2. Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the line. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal! ?

3. One day, I met a foreign guest. He said, I'm Hong, and the foreign guest said, I'm Fang Qi! ?

Zaizai was repaired by his father. He went to his mother to complain: "Mom, what would you do if someone hit your son?" Mom: "I want to avenge his son!" " "Aberdeen:" ... "?

An old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast must be heard every day. One day at dinner, I asked my family, "I have a question." Do you know where it is? It rains almost every day there. " ?

6. A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours! ?

7. My friends and I went to the top of Mount Tai to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed to the sky and said, "I see it!" " "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance came out with trousers and scolded: "See it when you see it!" " What are you yelling about? " ?

2. A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time, so he was embarrassed to shout. Then suddenly someone shouted "sell popsicles ~ ~ ~ sell popsicles ~ ~". Hearing this, my friend shouted happily, "Me too ~ ~ Me too ~ ~". ?

Ants and elephants died soon after they got married. While burying the elephant, the ant wept bitterly: "Dear, why did you leave so early?" I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life! " " ?

4. A boy secretly loves a girl and has the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes.

The girl who is "congenial" answered, and even asked several times is the same answer?

The boy was very discouraged and said, "Can you have a flat head?" . ?

One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, will you stop chasing?

6. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess." ?

7. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader took the stage to receive her. Then her hand asked her if she was cold and warm, and she refused to let go for a long time. She asked kindly, what's your name? The actress excitedly replied "Maragobi Matsumoto"?

8. A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the master was not at home, a ventilator knocked at the door. ?

Parrot: Who is it? ?

Gas converter?

Parrot: Who is it? ?

Gas converter?

……?

There is a man lying at the door of his master's house. The master wondered, who is this?

Internal: Ventilator?

1 1. A professor is giving a lecture on the spot: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "

14. Beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother and the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I also want to say hello to her. "Honey, where's mom?" "Go to Huaguoshan!" "..." "Honey, what are you doing?" "Aunt, you are so funny. I'm not calling you! " ?

My colleague's son, 4 years old. A classic saying: "When I was young ..."?

15. There was an accident on the expressway-the tortoise trampled the cow to death. The police are investigating the cause of the accident and say, snail: How did the tortoise hit you? The lying cow in plaster recalled sadly: I don't remember, he was too fast! ?

16. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair, one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ..........

17. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty embryo. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful." ?

19. Two people went to the mountain to play. A man accidentally slipped and fell off a cliff. His companion shouted anxiously, "how are you, brother?" Are you all right? " I only heard the person who fell answer "I don't know, I'm still falling ~ ~ ~"?

20. I also thought of a cyclist who didn't hold the handlebar and put his hands on his chest. A traffic policeman saw it and said, Good palms! The man replied, hello, comrades! ?

2 1. The monkey asked the fox how to describe the elephant's fart with a song. The fox said: Ku Kuiji's "Ant" said: "I thought it was a power train." : when > yes. " ?

22. The two brothers were chased by the tiger, and the younger brother really couldn't run, so he said, "Brother, let's stop running and kill this beast." The eldest brother said, "Don't talk nonsense, I can't run, just run past you." ?

24. A fashionable woman got on the bus and saw that the seat was empty, so she took out a tissue and wiped it for a while. She was just about to sit down and fart. A man next to her smiled and said, "I'm Kao. I'm so fucking clean. I have to blow it after I wipe it"?

Penguins are bored and want to go to the North Pole to play with polar bears?

Walking, walking for many years, almost there, suddenly remembered that the gas at home was not turned off properly?

So I went back, walked for many years, turned off the gas, and set off again, walking for many years?

I finally came to the door of the polar bear and knocked on the door.

-Polar bear! Come out and play! ?

Polar bear:?

-Stop playing. ?

26. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……?

27. A judge squinted and tried three suspects, A, B and C, in one day.

The judge said to A, "Did you steal it?" ?

A: "No"?

The judge was furious: "I didn't ask you." ?

"I didn't say anything," C said?

28. On the plane, the crow said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water", and the pig said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water, too!" After hearing this, the stewardess threw the crow and the pig out of the plane together. The crow smiled and said to the pig, "Are you stupid? I can fly ~ ~ ~? " ?

29. A rabbit walked into a shop and asked the boss, Do you sell carrots here? The wife said: no, after a while, the rabbit asked again, do you sell carrots here? The boss impatiently said no! After a while, the rabbit asked again, and the boss finally couldn't bear it: if you make trouble again, I'll cut your ear off with scissors! ?

After a while, the rabbit came again: Do you sell scissors here? The boss said: No. Rabbit asks again: Do you sell carrots here?

30. The devil caught the princess?

The devil said: you can shout your throat out, and no one will come to save you! ?

Princess: Break your throat, break your throat! ?

Nobody: Princess, I'm coming to save you! ?

Devil: Speak of the devil! ?

Cao Cao: Devil, what do you want me to do? ?

Devil: Wow, I saw a ghost! ?

Ghost: Shit! Has been discovered.

Shit: Nonsense, who found me? ?

Who: It's none of my business! ?

Devil: Oh, my God! ?

God: Who called me? ! ?

Who: Nobody called you! ?

Nobody: I didn't! ! ! ?

It is said that the devil has suffered from schizophrenia since then.