What did the word "charming guests" mean in ancient times?

Nickname of son-in-law. Because the son-in-law is the most delicate guest in the eyes of her parents-in-law, she entrusts the happiness of her life to her daughter, so the son-in-law should be warm and polite when coming to the door.

Huang Songting's poem "Er Yun Zi Zhan and Wang's Thoughts on the Failure of Bookstore": "Women are omnipotent, and Wang Lang is not a charming guest."

Note: "Wang Shi, the word Gigi Lai, perilla by her husband."

The fifth time of "Water Margin": "The hat is bare, and I will be the groom tonight; The clothes are narrow, so be a charming guest tonight. "

Be a charming guest

In my hometown Jianghu, I call my son-in-law a "charming guest". Once a man becomes someone else's son-in-law, he will receive the courtesy of this family all his life, and he is a "charming guest" of this family. However, all the food at home should be reserved for "charming guests", and the most respected seats can only be reserved for "charming guests". Not only that, it is also beneficial to children and is called "little charming guest". Being a "charming guest" of our Xiaojiang Lakers is really a blessing for your predecessor.

"into a bowl of poached eggs, eat vegetables on the second day of the first month." This is a classic saying that the Xiaojiang Lakers treat Jiao Ke well. It is said that in the era of "big pot rice", there was a shortage of materials. During the Chinese New Year, some dishes that can only be made into one plate, such as chicken ribs and pork loin, are strung together, and what can only be eaten is called "watching the plate". "Seeing food" is only possible after the second day of the first month, because on the second day of the first month, the mother-in-law is worshipped and the son-in-law comes on this day. No matter how bitter it is, it can't be bitter. However, "charming guests" are generally embarrassed to eat.

The first time I felt the benefits of being an attractive guest was when I was very young, when my father and I went to my grandmother's house to pay New Year's greetings. Father sat at the top of the table, and his peers and younger generations came to propose a toast to him, even though the wine was burnt; The women shouted "Uncle, Uncle" and served their father the thickest and widest slices of meat! Later, I learned that behind these grandiose flatteries, it was a prank on charming guests, called "breaking off the son-in-law". The son-in-law broke up with more people, indicating that he was more respected, so the son-in-law was willing to be "broken up" by others. Maybe it's because of the poor material foundation. At that time, Chinese New Year was really called Chinese New Year. The whole day is just a meal. While the meal is still being eaten, there are people waiting to invite us to dinner, and sometimes several families compete for a guest. Anyway, it will take almost a day. Some inexperienced new son-in-law will not promote "respect" and "service" when eating in the first restaurant, so they get drunk and have a full meal. If they eat in the next restaurant, others will "break up". I remember that my uncle was "thrown away by the pig wretched" in this way (that is, he vomited), and when playing poker, he only regarded square seven as a plum blossom hook, which made many jokes. I think that scene is really more delicious than being an emperor! Adults are caring and attentive to me, and my cousin, who is much older than me, advised me to drink! Finally, almost every woman in every family will smile and give me "lucky money" ranging from fifty cents to one yuan.

Later, as an adult, she began to be a "quasi-charming guest", that is, an unmarried son-in-law. Grandpa was afraid of my recklessness and told me, "Don't drink alcohol indiscriminately, or others will say you are impolite." I have listened to my grandfather since I was a child. I think grandpa is the embodiment of wisdom, so I am careful to be a "quasi-charming guest". At that time, from talking about my partner to getting married, I had to go through four procedures: opposite, calling the old man, housekeeper and engagement. On the other hand, when men meet, if it's interesting, we can talk. The next step is for the man to choose an auspicious day and prepare a generous gift for the woman's family, which means "calling the old man". In fact, your future father-in-law will interview you. After that, the woman will go to the man's house to "see the house" another day, and she can get engaged without any problem. You can only get a marriage certificate if you are engaged. If you get a marriage certificate, a man is a formal flirt.

But when you are a charming guest, drinking is inevitable, and wine is the carrier for parents-in-law to express their wishes. From the day the old man was called, wine began to become a tool for people to "break off" their son-in-law. I was accompanied by a sister-in-law that day. This sister-in-law really said that from being polite when I first met to "saving face", the only purpose was to persuade me to drink. I kept my grandfather's teachings in mind, but I was unmoved and only said, "I really can't drink." Finally, I said that "a man who doesn't smoke or drink is only half a man", so I pretended to be tempted by her, which was very heroic. As a result, the wine came into my mouth, and I threw up all at once, making her believe it. From then on, I have a reputation for not drinking. First of all, I just got back from the army. After all, I still have the generosity of a soldier. I really didn't drink a mouthful of wine during the period, which made me feel terrible.

However, three days after we got married, someone refused. He should be my uncle and brother-in-law, covered in a lump of meat. He is very generous. It is said that his capacity for liquor is two catties, and people want to invite him to accompany them. On the day I returned home, I didn't know if he meant to "break off diplomatic relations" with me, but he really treated me sincerely. He said, "When my new uncle comes back, he will try some wine." Otherwise, outsiders will say that we are impolite. "At first he said he wanted two cups and I wanted one. I refused, so he added three cups and gave me one. The result is predictable. The guy slipped under the table and said, "I didn't sit well and made my brother laugh." "Speaking of which, I feel a little sorry for him. In the later communication, he kept pointing at me and calling me cunning. I just smiled shyly.

After the "wine pass", I really integrated into my parents' family. During my years as a charming guest, I really felt another kind of fatherly love and maternal love. We have no time to take care of the children. My daughter and son were brought up by my father-in-law. That year, my son caught a cold and his nose was blocked, so my mother-in-law sucked out the sputum with her mouth, which was difficult for us to do. They know that when we first got married, we were well off financially. Not only has he never reached out to us, but he is also attached to us in daily necessities. Every year when we harvest new rice, we will always come back to us all the way to "taste the new". After killing pigs, we will always be specially invited to "drink soup". The most unforgettable thing is that we rented a facade on the street to do clothing business. Five years' rent and start-up capital are hundreds of thousands, and we have no funds. At that time, my parents-in-law had just moved to the county town to do small-scale box lunch business, with only a savings of 10 thousand yuan. They found their brothers and sisters without considering whether we have the ability to repay, and collected more than 10 thousand yuan for us. In this age when money and family are inseparable, there are only brothers and sisters.

Some people say that true feelings are selfless. I think the Xiaojiang Lakers have real feelings for Jiao Ke. The hearts of "charming guests" have been deeply baptized again and again. It is a shame for a man to be a "charming guest" in someone else's house and beat his wife to death when he comes back. Therefore, what the Jianghu men always say is, "What is the skill of beating your wife?" They have no reason not to be kind to their women, and there is no reason and space to have a dirty idea of changing their minds. Over time, they have a kind of husband-and-wife relationship, so families who grew up in this land rarely heard of divorce. The first thing a son-in-law does when he comes to his mother-in-law's house is to look at the water tank. When there is no water or there is not enough water, he picks it with a pole. When I was a child, Dongpo, the 90-year-old birthday girl on our street, died, and firecrackers exploded deafening, which made many old people envious. Dongpo's son is also a man in his sixties, with a row of children and grandchildren, but he never fell down and the funeral was over. The eldest son is still ill. Later, he heard from the adults that it was his mother-in-law and had been supported by him.

It is an indisputable fact that couples living in this small Jianghu land love each other. This love, like a net, is woven into a harmonious net between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It feels good to be an attractive guest.