Why are some people vulnerable to abuse? What should I do if I find myself masochistic?

Psychosociology refers to having fun in "abuse". Many analysts believe that the tendency of sadism (especially the tendency influenced by nue) is related to guilt. Freud said: "In Nuer's fantasy, we can find an obvious content, and that is guilt. The party assumes that he has committed a crime (the nature of the crime is uncertain) and must make amends by enduring pain and suffering. " Freud also said: "As far as I know, guilt is an indispensable factor in changing the tendency to give nue to be influenced by nue."

Everyone is more or less inclined to self-abuse, but most of the time, love for yourself can't be found. Nue is not without reason, or it is accepted by Nue, usually to ease one's emotions. Perhaps the easiest thing to think of is "apricot harvesting", but in fact, in daily life, some other levels of "self-swimming" phenomenon occur from time to time. There are not a few "self-abuse".

Nue usually has two development directions-mental nue and physical Nue, which are interrelated. The tendency to be influenced by nue reflects dissatisfaction with demand. The difference is that the physical satisfaction and pleasure obtained by nue are direct and explicit, while the psychological pleasure obtained by nue is much more forbearing, and the expressed needs are often introverted, and sometimes they are not felt by themselves.

Nue tends to pursue excitement (pursuing novel experiences, seeking a certain degree of adventure and daily risks), pursuing pleasure (satisfying one's own desires), supporting power and achievements (social status, authority, wealth, secular success, ambition, conquest, and people who are prone to nue may support those who have great power and achievements more than ordinary people), and the demand for security is lower (people who are prone to nue don't think they need to be like ordinary people) Some of them don't rely so much on the collective to resist external risks, while others give it to the collective or "leadership", which is not only beneficial to individuals, but also to blood relatives and large groups to some extent.

When people feel pain, they automatically release endorphins to relieve pain, which will produce pleasure, and the brain regions related to pain and pleasure overlap to some extent, so some people pursue controllable pain. The common hazards of being entertained by nue are very low, such as enjoying spicy and non-toxic food, listening to offensive jokes without offending the authorities, and getting "the pleasure of making your heart beat faster" by watching tragic performances, watching horror movies, listening to horror stories and playing roller coasters. Rather than engaging in extreme sports, I prefer a massage with a certain pain rather than being beaten. These hobbies can exercise people's body and spirit to a certain extent, relieve the pressure and boredom in life, and occasionally enhance their ability to resist possible practical dangers in the future.

Compared with the genetic factors that make carriers like to take risks, the genetic factors that make carriers like to enjoy the fun of nue "safely" may lead to the death or serious injury of carriers before giving birth to fertile offspring. People who like "safety" and enjoy nue often pursue a strong sensory experience, which may prompt them to improve existing tools and technologies and explore the unknown; When their behavior becomes more "dangerous", this pursuit may lead to anti-social behavior. Psychological research shows that the degree to which people like to bear "threatening stimuli" has a reliable positive correlation with the degree to which this person likes to watch others' pain and is willing to arouse others' pain in person. The following trend is to show incompetence, dishonesty, modesty, greed and so on. At least in some cases, it is profitable.

What should nue do if he finds it easy?

There is a proper term in psychology, giving and receiving nue relationship. If you like to be treated by nue, someone must like to give and treat nue. Otherwise, this relationship can't be formed and you can't build a relationship with each other. People who like to accept nue, whether psychologically or physically, are people who have been in the relationship of giving and receiving nue for a long time. Generally speaking, they have been treated by nue since childhood.

If a person has never seen light, he can't define light. All the light he knows is darkness, which his parents told him. Therefore, when he is tirelessly looking for light, all he can find is darkness. What will he do when he sees the real light one day? He'll close his eyes. Because it is too dazzling to be used to, and because it is unfamiliar to him, it feels unsafe. Like being abused, that's all. I like being influenced by nue, one is cognitive limitation, and the other is for security. Giving and receiving nue is a twisted relationship, and it pursues a twisted intimate desire.

What shall we do? As the old saying goes, if you feel that this has affected your life, please go to a reliable psychological counselor for treatment. This cannot be completely solved by individual efforts alone. You must first know what kind of abuse you have. Ordinary people usually choose: pursue happiness and avoid pain. Tending to nue or thinking, is it more painful and happier to get pleasure from being abused?

First, heart abuse.

The word "heart abuse" comes from the "heart abuse culture" in animation and online literature, which means that the author deliberately arranges a plot to make the protagonist feel sad to the extreme, so that the reader screams in pain, but he can't give up reading. In Chinese, the word "abuse" means cruelty and disaster, and when it extends to mental abuse, it means mental injury. In a word, you set yourself as the protagonist of heart abuse, and self-abuse makes you feel comfortable, or does self-abuse make you hurt yourself to hurt your loved ones?

Second, about fifty shades of grey.

As long as the wishes of both parties are respected, it is safe and private. Personally, I don't think it is a problem. Soul mates Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe, after reading their novels and interviews, found that their husband and wife enjoyed little abuse.