A joke that can make me laugh 10 seconds.

1. Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed until I sprayed the soup. 2. One day, eating in a rice noodle shop was slow and hungry. Finally, I couldn't bear to strike the table and roar. I wanted to say no to rice noodles, so I lifted the table! The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "After the whole store was silent for 3 seconds, the audience burst into laughter ... ashamed ... 3. Once I went to buy mutton skewers, I stretched out four fingers and said to the boss," Three kebabs. " The boss received "How much?" I held out three fingers and said "four" ... 4. Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou …" 5. My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone called my cell phone once. "Chicken head, are you in the pigsty?" At that time, he taught the guy a lesson. 6. A leader said, "I wish you all good health ..." Hold your breath and say nothing. 7. When my parents quarreled, my father said angrily, "I want to go out!" 8. I play basketball in high school. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. B threw it himself. As a result, A shouted angrily. I was really blind just now ... 10. I was impressed that the monitor of primary and secondary schools was extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. ! ! ..... The whole class was silent 1 1. I just went to college, military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!" 13. A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied. Add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't replied yet! 14. When I was cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots. "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" 15. When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago …" What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student." 17. The physics teacher talked about Bo. "This is a thick spring. I pushed it from both ends to see if it became dense (constipation)? " 18. Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" I was too hot at that time ... 19. Boss, do you have a toilet paper card to satisfy your hunger? 2 1. Once I went to the market to buy food for dinner, a Korean friend bought lettuce from 2.4 yuan. He gave all his change to the peddler, and when he was short of a dime, he said to the peddler, "I gave you all my hair, so I have no hair." The peddler was speechless for a long time and replied-"I don't want your hair." 22. The manager usually tells smokers at the meeting. All smokers were strangled! ! 24. One day at noon, my mother asked my brother to move the dining table to the side. My brother hasn't moved his nest for a long time, and my mother always says so when she is in a hurry. "Did you hear that? ! I told you to move the table two kilometers to the side. " 25. I once booked a hotel for my boss and wanted to ask him if he had free Internet service, but I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked him, "Excuse me, do you have any special services here?" The other party: "What? Special service We are a regular hotel! " 26. Old four got out of bed in the dormitory and looked for slippers for a long time. No, ask everyone. Why are my slippers? 27. When shopping, my friend suddenly exclaimed, "Wow! Virgin bookstore! "I was frightened. I looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters-foreign language bookstore! 28. When I was in college, I heard a girl order food. Master fried a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, not potatoes! 29. 10 minutes after class, the deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet. The English teacher said unhappily. How old are you to go to the toilet? After the impassioned speech by the trade union chairman, the last sentence reached its climax. Comrades, let's do our work better this year than next year! The whole audience fell. 3 1. I had dinner with a group of friends, one of whom was probably betrayed by his brother. He was depressed, drank a lot of beer, then stood up with a red face and shouted at his brother! Not for sale! I think what I'm trying to say is that brothers are not for sale At that time, a dozen people were lying at a table.