Qq group jokes humor

1, the lover will eventually buckle the meat, and the pig pocket will appear in the lover's eyes. If the relationship is long-term, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig.

I don't agree with you, but I swear? Who won't let you talk?

3. An apple a day keeps the doctor away; If you want to be a hermit, try changing garlic.

Dear, I will always love you because you are the most important person in my life.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

It took 5 minutes to get up this time. You beat 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed.

There are always many coincidences in life, and two parallel lines may meet one day.

I don't know whose wife is in my bed. My wife doesn't know whose bed she is in!

9. You will never understand my sadness, just as the fat man doesn't understand why the thin man wants to lose weight.

10. If a boy is pregnant, he must be treated well, loved and protected. what do you think?

1 1. Without those stupid women, life would be even more stupid.

12, I study Tyrannosaurus rex feed, eunuch fertility, how much start-up capital is needed to engage in real estate on Mars and other professional academic issues.

13. If I were a farmer in the world, the next Bill Gates would definitely be me.

14, if you wear flat shoes because you are waiting for me to take you away one day, then now.

15, the feeling of loving you is always so beautiful. Your gentle smiling face is my achilles heel. I love you and I love you, and I will always love you in this life and the next.

16, ex-girlfriend is very introverted. How introverted is she? She wanted to end her four-year relationship with me, but she was too embarrassed to say it. She called her new boyfriend and told me.

17. Each weighing. When you are light, say to yourself: thin. When you are heavy, say to yourself: your chest is big.

18, a game is really tiring. Practice before going to work every day, and it tastes good in the morning. At noon, I have to get drunk. Regular practice will hurt the liver and stomach, and sleeping and dreaming will always say that you are innocent.

19, I always felt that something was stuck in * *, so I dug out half of Flammulina velutipes and gave it to the landlord without stint.

20, don't worry about my sense of security, you think I am a special anti-virus software.

2 1, when I love you, you are a stone; When I hate you, you are a zombie!

22, where there are chickens and ducks: more manure; Where there are young women: talk a lot.

23. Why is the winter vacation not as long as the summer vacation? Because heat expands and contracts. Why is there so much homework? Because thermal expansion and cold contraction will not change the quality.

24. Sleeping for seven hours at school is not enough, but sleeping for five hours during holidays is twice as energetic.

25. When I was a child, the thickest letter was a love letter; When I grow up, the thickest letter is the bank bill.

According to my analysis of Mid-Autumn homework, I can't look directly at National Day.

27. A man wrote 700 letters to his girlfriend, and finally ... his girlfriend married the postman.

28. If one day I fall down. Remember, I'll come up for you.

29. What is dry before it is put in and wet when it is taken out, which makes people memorable and happy like a fairy? Fantasy ... this is a tea bag.

30. A woman, standing in front of clothes like an emperor, thinks every day, who should be lucky today? I looked, alas, it's time for me to be embarrassed again.

3 1, recently opened a shop called "drums and guns", and money rolled in. Every time someone buys a drum set, his neighbor will come to buy a gun the next day.

32. I saw you hide yourself with a leaf, but I smiled and brushed the dirt off you.

Dear, I just want to say to you: I love you, and the happiest thing in this life is the time with you.

Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

35. I paid for my mobile phone for a week, and when I got it back, I found that all the games were cleared.

36. It's not that I don't fold the quilt, mainly because I miss the past, or I like the quilt that I slept the day before. I have to raise this living habit problem to personality cultivation.

37. Spring breeze has ten miles, fifty miles and one hundred miles. Papaya stewed Sydney, cheese corn kernels and mashed potatoes in chicken sauce are not as good as you, and they are not as good as you.

38. marry a chicken with a chicken; Marry a dog and follow the dog; Marry a monkey and run all over the mountain; Marry me and treat you to roast goose!

39, baby, can you always spoil me and let me go like this?

40. Do you think you look good in person or in photos? -Turn off the lights.

4 1, I heard the meanest thing a girl said to me: you are not worth washing your hair!

42. What's wrong with being short? Pick up the money faster than you! What's wrong with small eyes? There is less sand than you! What's wrong with being fat Eat more than you! What's wrong with being ugly? I met fewer perverts than you!

43. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

44. The biggest advantage of maturity is that you don't want what you didn't get before.

45. The teacher said: The senior high school entrance examination is coming, so don't fall in love and quarrel early, so as not to affect your mood; Don't confess without puppy love, lest you be rejected and affect your mood.

46. I've been looking for you for so long, and finally I meet you! I will hold your hand this time and will not let go. I will always accompany you and take away our lives!

47. Carve loneliness on the bottle, drink it into the bladder and pee it out, so that loneliness can be spilled everywhere!

48. The volume of your class during the day is much lower than that during your self-study last night, which is extremely abnormal. If this happens to wild animals, it means a big natural disaster is coming.

49. The meaning of a holiday lies in a morning that you can't afford, a night that you can't sleep, and a day that you can't go out.

50. What is the last thing you want to do when sleeping in a warm bed at night? -Wet the bed!

5 1, I bought an inch monitor to make my mistakes look smaller!

If you feel lonely, turn off the light and put on a movie. After a while, you will feel that you are not alone.

Teacher, I have returned all the knowledge you taught me to you. When will you refund my tuition?

54, the same is tap water, but it just feels that the kitchen is cleaner than the toilet.

55. If you are the one, the female guest will turn off another boy's light, and the aunt downstairs in the boy's dormitory can turn off the whole floor.

56. The boss with whom you talked about money is a good man. People who talk to you about ideal TM don't want to give you money!

57. The boss fell asleep in the rocking chair, and the proprietress gave him a leg. I feel so loving for a moment. I couldn't bear to disturb them, so I gently took two cans of Wang Zi and left.

58. There are fewer frogs in nature and more frogs on the Internet.

59. When the head teacher talks nonsense, it's like chewing a program, and he can't stop!

When I was a child, I blushed whenever someone stared at me. Now whenever someone stares at me, I make him blush.

6 1, Tencent is very good, at least he didn't forget my birthday and sent me the only blessing.

62. The team leader went to the field, and the cow was in front. The village chief went down to the field with a cigarette butt in his hand. The head of the township went down to the field, and the secretary was behind. The county magistrate went to Xiatiantou, and the reporter grabbed the camera.

63. Wife, wife, I love you, I really care for you, my family moistens you, and Amitabha bless you. I take this short message as proof: I will always be with you.

64. I have always wanted to be a quiet walker, guarding myself in the deepest part of the world of mortals, and keeping the initial bud and joy.

65. Why is there no arranged marriage in the evil new society?

66. If a woman is a book, then many women only have pages: one has a car, one has a house and one has a ticket.

67. Every time I buy a drink, I thank you for your patronage. One day I suddenly couldn't write Huizi in the exam, so I opened the drink next to me. I was crazy and won: one more bottle.

68. Carry love to the end. Maybe everyone is thinking about what love is. How to get to the end? I think I know that love never ends.

69. If one day you get old and your teeth fall out, I will still kiss your toothless gums.

70. The happiest thing in life is to hear my wife say take your paws away in the morning!

7 1, I want to study hard and make progress every day. They will be the boss's wife when they grow up, and I will be the boss's mother when I grow up.

72. Your praise seems indifferent, but in fact, your heart is already full of flowers.

73. At first, you used a bunch of adjectives to define your ideal lover. When you really love someone, his name will replace those nouns and become nouns.

74. On the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, covering my eyes against the wind and trying not to blink.

75. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

I fell in love with you at first sight, but I hugged you without saying anything. I come to see you every three days, and no one kisses you around. I will marry you in five days, and I will not part for 60 years!

77. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

There will be many unexpected things in this world. For example, do you think I will give an example?

79. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death. It's that I stand in front of my future mother-in-law, but I can only call her aunt!

80. It's easy to wake up, but getting up is another matter.

8 1, don't challenge my bottom line, otherwise ... I will revise my bottom line again.

82, put a mobile phone in front of the bed, suspected to be afraid of no electricity, look up at the information, bow down to write love poems!

If something happens to you one day, please call me. I won't withhold my words or stand in your way, but I can come out handsome.

84. Sunrise in the East China Sea and setting in the West Mountain is also a day of sadness and joy; People are comfortable when they are not entangled in things.

85. After I left, you called me and said you missed me, just like a barking dog in the street.

86. Other classes have good grades and good discipline and are liked by teachers. Our class is nothing more than a high value.

87. Girl, hold my hand. Tell all the sad things and come with me.

88. Will you think of me after a long time and ask yourself why you didn't cherish me in the first place?

89. Men are like the food in the campus canteen: although it is not delicious, it will be gone if you go late.

90. Share an experience of my online shopping: As long as you leave a message to the seller "I am a * * seat", then you will find that the things you send are definitely of the best quality!

9 1, either take care of my happiness or go away and don't wish me happiness here!

92. A teacher asked his students, "Why does the body get cold after death?" A student replied, "It's natural to be calm.

93. Teacher, you are great. You must pretend to be strong when you know that we won't listen.

94. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had grown up. I took a closer look and found that the quilt cover was horizontal!