3 minutes of morning meeting humorous jokes

3-Minute Morning Meeting Humorous Jokes

3-Minute Morning Meeting Humorous Jokes. The morning meeting is the time for employees to obtain information from the company, communicate with managers and collaborate with each other. The time and place where you can learn from business experience. Sometimes it is also an important moment to adjust the work atmosphere. Here is a 3-minute morning meeting humorous joke. 3-minute humorous jokes for morning meetings 1

Selection of humorous jokes for morning meetings

1. On a train, a man and a woman met by chance, but the problem was that they were sleeping in the same berth. carriage. Of course it was awkward at first, but soon, fatigue made them fall asleep respectively. The man slept on the upper bunk and the woman slept on the lower bunk. In the middle of the night, the man woke up and woke up the woman sleeping on the lower bunk: "I'm sorry, but I'm freezing to death up there. Could you please pass me another blanket?"

Female Looking at the man, his eyes were flowing, and he said to the man: "I have a better way, let's pretend to be husband and wife, how about it?" The man was stunned for a moment, but then agreed: "Okay, great. "I didn't expect it!" He was obviously a little overwhelmed with excitement, "So what should we do now?"...

2. Husbands and wives are at odds, each sleeps alone, and each other sleeps alone. Don't talk, just write notes if you have something to do. One day, the husband left a note for his wife, saying that I had to go to work and to call me tomorrow. He placed it beside his wife's bed and fell asleep peacefully. The next day, I woke up and saw that it was gone. He was very angry and ran to question his wife. The wife who ran away looked in her room and found that her wife was already gone. I had no choice but to go back to my room and found a note on my pillow, which said that the dead ghost was half dead and still couldn't get up.

3. If your wife asks you to go out and find a job, what are you looking for? A new wife. Does your husband love you? Yes, very much! He and I are inseparable, not even going to work. Does your wife object to you smoking at home? Oh, she objects to me smoking anywhere. She says it costs more for two people to smoke than for one person to smoke. Whenever my wife and I argue, she becomes a historian.

Are you saying that she is hysterical? No, she exposed me and did not lose even a trivial matter. I am very observant and always send the kids for a walk whenever my wife and I argue. No wonder all your children are in good health! Woman: Doctor, my husband keeps talking in his sleep. ......

4. In order to borrow the banana fan, Sun Wukong used a trick to get into the belly of Princess Iron Fan. Look at the following dialogue, Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I am already inside you." Princess Iron Fan: "Come out and get in the way. Uncle, I can't stand it anymore..." Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out soon, please open your mouth." "Princess Iron Fan: "Obstruction" The Bull Demon King heard it outside the door and left a divorce agreement... and left for a long time.

5. On his girlfriend's birthday, Shuaiguo spent a lot of money I bought a QQ number and gave it to my girlfriend. The number means "I love you forever". After I bought it, I couldn't log in and it said the password was wrong. The handsome guy took a closer look and found out that the number was.

6. Wife: “How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste?” Husband: “It’s average. Wife: "Where are the roasted eggplants?" Husband: "It's okay." Wife: "What about Mapo Tofu?" Husband: "Okay." "Wife: "You can die if you say a nice word to me?" Husband: "The rice is so hard!"

7. Take your wife to go hiking... rest in the pavilion on the top of the mountain. Hold your wife affectionately, As if forcefully kissing me, she suddenly said: Brother-in-law, don’t do this! So many people were staring at me.

8. Wife: What do you think about sex? Husband: What do you think? No, there are many ways to do it. Wife: Do you want me to wear a bikini to this beach party? Husband: No! People will think you got married because of my money. Wife: Husband! My hair. Will it be ugly? Husband: No. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your hair. Wife: Come and see if I have a broken arm?

Husband: No need to look, it must be true. Wife: Why? Husband. : Otherwise, why would my life be ruined in your hands?

Wife: Boss, a bottle of rice wine, for my husband. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his drinking capacity. ......

9. A couple had been married for many years. Suddenly one day, the wife asked her husband: "Do you like my beauty or my cuteness?" The husband replied: "I I just like your humor."

10. The wife bought a lottery ticket and said to her husband: "If I win the lottery, I will buy a dress." The husband asked: "What if you don't win?" Wife. Said: "Then you can buy it for me!"

11. Husband: I shave in the morning and I feel younger! Wife: Huh! If that's the case, you should shave before going to bed. Wife: Husband, don’t I look like the mother of my child when I wear this dress? Husband: No, I look like a parent. Husband: If I hadn’t made a lot of money, how could I still have this family? Wife: You’re right, if I didn’t have money, I wouldn’t have entered this family.

12. Only then did I realize that condoms have such a cute name, it’s called Ban Elf. . . So. . Get ready to sing! There is an elf on the right side of the left leg and on the left side of the right leg. They are thin and transparent, they are smooth and beautiful. They travel freely through the big black forest, and they are safe and considerate to prevent them from becoming fathers~ 3 minutes of morning meeting humorous jokes 2

1. Mr. Don’t Know

The naughty Brown is in class He often wanders off and is always speechless in front of the teacher's questions, so he is called "Mr. Don't Know" by his classmates.

Once, Brown wanted to take revenge on his teacher, so he asked: "I saw something without legs, sliding across the kitchen floor. Teacher, what do you think it was?"

The teacher thought about it and finally said "I don't know".

Brown explained seriously: "That is water."

A wise man will surely lose something if he thinks a lot; a fool will gain something if he thinks a lot. Don't always laugh at others for not knowing. There are many things in life that you don't know. Learning with humility is the most important.

2. Want too much

One night, the husband came back from dinner and happily said to his wife: "Today, the manager of our company invited some employees to dinner, and everyone drank happily. During the dinner, the manager took out three bottles of whiskey and said to everyone: Everyone here, who has never cheated on his wife in his life, these three bottles of wine belong to him. In the end, no one raised his hand. Do you think it is strange? " /p>

After hearing this, the wife asked curiously: "Then why don't you raise your hand?"

The husband said in a panic: "You know, I always like to drink beer, but not beer." Whiskey. "

Many people finally choose not to face others honestly because they want too much, are not satisfied with what they see, or for various other reasons.

3. Retreat to advance

Some people advised the French political commentator and philosopher Marbery to run for academician of the National Academy of Sciences, but Marbery firmly refused.

He said: "If I am really elected as an academician, people will say, hum, how did he become an academician? It must be... but I would rather let people say that he should be an academician."

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Understanding that when reputation and status cannot have both, upright people choose reputation, while greedy people choose status. Therefore, the former are admired by others, while the descendants are reviled by others.

4. Beauty makeup

The company is located in a relatively remote place outside the customs. Colleagues who live in the customs go to the Window of the World site and take the company shuttle bus to work on time at 6:40. They live in However, the beauty Xiaoli who lives near Window of the World is always 2 or 3 minutes late before getting on the bus almost every day.

At 6:40 this morning, Xiaoli called the driver again and waited for 2 minutes, and he arrived immediately. Colleagues couldn't help complaining. It was shameful that someone who lived nearby was late. Why couldn't he get up a few minutes earlier?

Liu Hui said: "I live opposite Xiaoli, and she gets up much earlier than me every day, but she has to put on makeup for more than an hour every morning.

"

Wang Gang, who was on his first day at work, heard this and asked in surprise: "Is she ugly? It actually takes so long to put on makeup every day. ”

I realized that focusing too much on superficial forms is often counterproductive.

5. Give up your seat

A lady got on the tram, and all the seats on the tram were occupied. A gentleman stood up and offered his seat, and the lady sat down without saying a word.

At this time, the gentleman turned around and asked, "Madam, what did you say?" "

"Sir, I didn't say anything! "

"Oh, I'm sorry, madam, I thought you were saying thank you. "

I feel that a cultivated person not only has a good attitude and an upward outlook on life, but is also a person who knows how to be grateful.

6 , covering up lies

A "blind" beggar asked for alms from passers-by at the corner. When there were no passers-by, he picked up the coins one by one and put them in his pocket.

" Stop pretending! "A passerby saw through his ruse and said angrily, "You are not blind at all. "

"Yes, sir. I'm just here to replace the real blind guy who sits here every day. He went to the movies today, so I'm here to replace him. I'm not blind, I'm just mute. "

I realize that in order to cover up a lie, people often have to tell another lie. As a result, they fall into the ocean of lies and cannot extricate themselves, and they cannot escape the endless pain and troubles. It is better for people to be sincere, At least you can get peace of mind and peace of mind

7. Go your own way

A woman parked her car carelessly under the no parking sign

The traffic policeman rushed to her car and asked: "Madam, do you know what this sign means?" "

"I don't know," the woman replied. "If you are interested in it, you might as well ask the saleswoman at the roadside stall. "

People who are accustomed to going their own way rarely think that there is anything inappropriate about themselves.

8. The patient is bad

There was a doctor. He is always unlucky, and the people who come to him for medical treatment are always unable to be cured.

His wife said to him, "I said, why are you always ineffective in treating people?" So, your medical skills are very poor. "

"No, no, my medical skills are superb. But the patients were all bad, so they couldn't be cured. "

"Specifically, what is the basic strength method for patients? "

"I treated them according to what was written in the medical book, but the patients did not get sick according to what was written in the medical book. "

Understanding the facts is the only starting point at any time, otherwise you will be an empty and useless person.

9. The works were exhibited

"I painted something for the exhibition. It has been hung up in the most eye-catching place next to the entrance. "

"Congratulations, what did you draw? "

"A sign, a sign to go left. "

I realize that truly powerful people are often quiet, because they understand that strength is the most powerful voice; on the contrary, the most superficial guy is very public, because he is empty and pitiful, and has no choice but to torment his shallow soul. Talk to comfort yourself.

10. Narcissism

Girl: "Dear, do you really like me?" "

Man: "Yeah! "

Girl: "You think I'm very beautiful, don't you? "

Man: "Yeah! "

Girl: "You think my eyes are as bright as the stars in the sky. My appearance is as beautiful as a blooming cherry blossom. The body is so light and moderate.

Her voice is so beautiful and sweet. I wonder how many times more beautiful it is than Miss World, right? "

Man: "Yeah! "

Woman: "Oh! Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you are so good at complimenting me! "

You can be confident in your feelings, but you must not be narcissistic. Narcissistic people must feel sorry for themselves, and they are the most vulnerable to injury. 3-minute humorous jokes for morning meetings 3

Morning meeting jokes Chapter 1

"The Difference"

Question: Mom, why do snails look cute, but slugs are disgusting?

Answer: That's probably it. It's the difference between having a house and not having a house...

Question: Mom, why are wasps annoying, but pearls are likeable?

Answer: My child, this is the difference between living in Tongzilou and The difference between living in a detached house...

Morning Meeting Jokes 2

"Don't Worry"

Auntie went for a walk in the square in the morning and saw an old man taking a He was writing big words on the ground with a sponge pen and couldn't help but look at it.

The old man glanced at the aunt and wrote the word "Go". The aunt thought: What about taking a look? He looked at the aunt again and wrote "Go away". The aunt couldn't bear it anymore and kicked the old man to the ground...

When the police came and asked what was going on, the old man said aggrievedly. : "I just wanted to write a sentence 'The rolling waters of the Yangtze River pass eastward', but as soon as I wrote the first two words, I was kicked down by this lunatic. ”

So, friends, don’t be hasty in everything!

Morning Meeting Jokes 3

“Bear It Away”

A girl got on the high-speed train and saw a man sitting in her seat. She checked her ticket and said politely: "Sir, are you sitting in the wrong seat?" "

The man took out his ticket and shouted: "Look carefully, this is my seat. Are you blind?" ! "

The girl looked at his ticket carefully, stopped talking, and stood beside him silently. After a while, the train started to move. The girl lowered her head and said softly to the man: "Sir, you didn't take the seat. Misplaced, but you're in the wrong car! ”

There is a kind of tolerance that makes you regret before it’s too late. If howling could solve the problem, donkeys would have ruled the world long ago!

Morning meeting Joke Chapter 4

"Profound"

I just saw a child eating ice cream in the elevator. Out of concern, I told him casually: "Such a cold day will be bad for the body. of! ".

The child told me that his grandma lived to be 103 years old.

I asked: "Eat ice cream? "

He said: "No, my grandma never cares about other people's business! "

How profound! Now I finally know why I am aging so fast!

What a waste of worry...

Morning Meeting Jokes 5

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"Where is the question?"

Our class monitor is doing well in studies, but he is a little short-sighted and recently got a new pair of glasses.

One day, a classmate. I saw a difficult question on the Internet and copied it down to take the monitor test the next day.

The student sat behind the monitor and handed the paper with the question to the monitor.

The monitor looked at his hand. There was a white paper with no words on both sides. After thinking for a while, he asked: "Where is the question?"

The classmate behind him replied: "Damn, my myopia is too high!"