A funny joke

Funny humorous jokes

There are many classic jokes in our life and study, which are a way we often use to relieve our emotions and relax our entertainment. In our life, we will always meet a few people who can tell jokes. So what are the funny humorous jokes? Let's take a look with me. Funny humorous joke 1

1. A fat man and a thin man were driving through the mountains, and their car broke down, so no one would come to repair it until the afternoon. Hungry two people climbed two mountains and finally found a remote town. There is a small restaurant in the town, but they walked into one, came out, went into another and came out again ... Finally, they were so hungry that the thin man begged: "Director, if there is no invoice, there will be no invoice!" "

2. Xiao Li of the hospital came to the dean with a sad face. Xiao Li said, "Dean, I want to resign. I can't stand it."

Dean: "What's the matter, young man, you are doing very well in the urine test department. Why do you want to resign?"

Xiao Li: "As you know, I just changed my job, and my previous professional habits make me unsuitable for doing urine test!" "

Dean: "What did you do?"

Xiao Li: "Taster"

Dean: "Ouch ~"

3. Tell my colleagues that I used to take beautiful pictures, but now it's getting uglier and uglier. Colleagues simply said: Now the pixels are getting higher and higher.

4. Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague felt that bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket of water and washed my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said: "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" "

5. Me:" Waiter, it's been more than half an hour since I ordered the steak, and it hasn't been done yet? It's already 11 o'clock in the middle of the night! "

waiter: "don't worry, sir, our shop is open 24 hours."

I ...

6. I went to the bank to withdraw money, and after a limited operation time, my bank card was swallowed. At that time, I was in a state of ignorance. The staff told me: Beauty, you can just handle it at the counter tomorrow ... I said: it swallowed my card, and there is not much money in it. I will wait, maybe it will dislike the lack of money and spit it out for me ...

The staff said: it has a good appetite, is not picky about food, and tastes delicious! Don't worry, it will never be too little to eat meat!

7. In high school, my deskmate was a beautiful sister paper, and her hands were frostbitten and festered in winter. At that time, the school brought its own lunch box to cook and washed it after eating. I think her hands are poor. I washed her lunch boxes for two winters.

One night during self-study, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to wash my lunch box for life?" I got angry when I heard it: "It was agreed that I would wash it in winter, you would wash it in summer, and you would wash it? Still want to lie to me to wash for a lifetime, dreaming!

8. Before Mulan joined the army for her father, she bought horses in Dongshi, saddles in Xishi, bridles in Nanshi and whips in Beishi. When the general heard this, he asked, "Mulan, are you disguised as a man?" Mulan asked in surprise, "How does the general know?" The general said, "Men won't visit four markets in a row to buy this."

9. When I came back from the night shift and parked on the first floor, I heard a kid crying in the room, so his mother lied to him that there was a ghost outside. In the spirit of helping others, I screamed in horror, and as a result, both of them cried

1. Male A: My blood type is B, so is my wife's blood type, and I gave birth to a baby. Man b: the child won't be type 2 b. Funny humor joke 2

1. One day, Mosquito and Mantis went to peek at a woman's bath. Mosquito said proudly: Look, I stung her twice in the chest ten years ago, and now it's so swollen; Mantis said unconvinced, what's the matter? I chopped a knife between her legs ten years ago, and it's still bleeding every month ... < P > 2. An elephant asked the camel, "How did your Mimi grow on her back?" The camel said, "Stay away, I don't talk to things with dicks on my face!" " The snake laughed wildly after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned to the snake and said, "Laugh! You have a face on your penis, you are not qualified! "

3. Soon after the ant and the elephant got married, the elephant died. While burying the elephant, the ant cried bitterly: "Dear, why did you go so early? I will bury you if I do nothing else in my life!" "

4. Your boy has a crush on a girl, so you have the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes.

The "congenial" girl answers, and the answer is the same even after asking several times.

The boy is discouraged and says, "How about a flat head?".

5. One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted, Master! Master, wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, please stop chasing.

6. One day, I took a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really didn't understand, so he tore up the paper angrily and prepared to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name?" A student lifted his trouser leg and said, "Guess, guess."

7. After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then she held her hand, asking for cold and warm, and refused to let go for a long time, kindly asking: What's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Marla Gebi, Song Shou"

8. A person bought a parrot that can only say two words. One day, the owner was not at home, and a gas changer knocked at the door.

parrot: who is it?

A: Parrot changing gas

Who is it?

Answer:

...

When the owner came home, he was lying at the door. The owner wondered who it was.

Inside the door: the gas changer

9. A man saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down, smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. He said it was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it. ~

1. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. A: I felt that there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook.,,,,,, Someone thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks.