Ancient and modern joke stories

A selection of ancient and modern jokes

The story of kung fu jokes in Qian's eyes is really super funny. Come and play.

Inscription of dung bucket

There is a imperial academy student named Zhuang, and his family is very rich. After spending money to donate a tribute student, all the door utensils in the house were sealed with official titles. I bought a new dung bucket. Do you want to write it down? Candidates are Confucian? Words.

Give up gambling

Once upon a time, someone saw a spendthrift in a casino. He was very excited about gambling and full of energy. He claimed to be proficient in all kinds of gambling cheats. Bet a million dollars day and night.

Someone saw one of his fingers cut off and the scar looked like a knife, so they wanted to ask him what was going on. He said:? That was cut when I quit gambling! ?

secret recipe

There is a man in Wu Shan who specializes in all kinds of magical secret recipes. Many people read it, and some people bought three secret recipes with 300 copper coins: the first is how to get rich; The second is how to drink without getting drunk; The third is how to make the body. Lice cut off the roots.

The seller picked up these three secret recipes, wrapped them layer by layer, and carefully handed them to the buyer, telling him that this method is very clever, but you must not tell anyone. ? The buyer took it home and opened it. The first one reads:? Diligence? The second article says:? Break up early. ? Article 3 says:? Grasp it diligently. ?

Semi-saint

There is a man who is greedy for money. He is afraid of taking too much from others, but he never gives up his own things.

Some people say that he is stingy, and he said: It is the way of saints to ignore each other. ?

Others said:? The sage still said he wanted it? This is obvious. How are you?

The man replied:? I have learned this, but I haven't learned it yet. ?

Others said:? It seems that you can only learn half a saint! ?

Help yourself.

There were two brothers at that time. The two brothers separated after their father died. Brother is clever, brother is stupid. My brother built a toilet at the crossroads and made a lot of money every year. Sister-in-law was angry and called her husband worthless.

So my brother also built a toilet at the intersection, painted the wall with lime, brushed it very clean, and drew a picture. Passers-by mistakenly thought it was a temple, and no one came in to relieve themselves.

The next day, my brother had to wait at the intersection. As long as someone comes, he will say hello, but passers-by will not enter his toilet. He had to say: please come and relieve yourself! ? Everyone replied:? No? The younger brother said anxiously: If there is no shit, fart! ?

Kung fu in the eyes of money

There is an official who is greedy for money. Whenever he receives the complainant's statement, he draws a money hole where he can use it and extorts money.

After a long time, people all know about it, so as long as someone complains, people get together and say that our parents are doing kung fu in the eyes of copper coins again! ?

Wealth and life are connected.

An old man saw a copper coin on the stone beach by the river, so he went to catch up with the rushing tide. The old man was drowned before he could escape.

The next day, his body surfaced with a big piece of wood and the copper coin in his hand. People who saw it lamented:? The old man really knows how to link wealth with life!

Believe half.

Someone went to Suzhou for the first time and was told: Suzhou people have a big and empty speaking habit. When you talk to them, you can only believe what he says. ?

The man remembered that when he came to Suzhou, he met a local and asked your name first. The local people replied:? Last name is Lu. ? This man thought, as if his surname was three.

Asked how many rooms to live in, the locals said: five. ? The man thought:? That's two and a half rooms. ?

Ask again:? How many wives are there in the family? The local people replied:? Only his wife. ? The man said behind his back, so it was with someone! ?

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