Married 15 years, he brought down my company and threatened to give me a pension when I divorced. What should I do?

Introduction: In marriage, no matter how much a woman loves, she should not pay and pay unilaterally, let alone tolerate a man who has no bottom line. Your bottomless accommodation and tolerance will not bring much happiness to your family. On the contrary, such infinite efforts will ruin your marriage.

As women, most of them play a gentle, patient and tolerant role in the family.

When a man touches her bottom line in marriage, he often chooses peaceful concessions. Based on the principle of all for the happiness of the family, he gradually became unprincipled and accommodating.

She thought that her bottomless concession would be exchanged for men's cherish and return. As everyone knows, such tolerance will only make men go further.

"Pushing your luck" can be said to be human nature. Women keep making concessions, in addition to losing their bottom line, making men feel that all your concessions and tolerance are appropriate and nothing.

0 1

My friend Li Jie received a phone call from the bank when she was at work, and all her cards in the bank were frozen.

The reason is that Li Jie's ex-husband, Lao Guo, was sued to the court for private financing and lending. The court found that he still had overdue bank loans, which occurred during their marriage, so all Li Jie's bank accounts were frozen.

Li Jie calls Lao Guo, and Lao Guo yells at Li Jie on the phone. He just had no money, and he clamored for Li Jie to repay the loan for him and give him more money. Even threatened that if Li Jie didn't give him money, he would find a unit to make trouble.

Sister Li had no choice but to entrust a lawyer to handle the matter.

When the lawyer found Lao Guo, Lao Guo didn't expect that Sister Li was serious again and even went through legal procedures.

He thought that Li Jie would be the same as before the divorce. No matter how he behaved, he would not only give in, but also meet all his demands.

02

Li Jie and Lao Guo have lived together for sixteen years. They met at a friend's dinner.

Sister Li has a good family, graduated from college, and is romantic and simple. Perhaps influenced by family, although she is a girl, she is very business-minded. However, Lao Guo only graduated from high school, was born in an ordinary poor family, and hung out in society very early.

Knowing that he was pursuing Sister Li, his family strongly opposed it, because their educational level was too different and the conditions of the two families were too different.

However, Li Jie, who was naive at that time, felt that Lao Guo was different from the men she had seen in her previous life circle, and she was attracted by her more social Jianghu spirit.

Lao Guo was very kind to Li Jie during her love, and she was also very diligent. Li Jie married him despite the discouragement of her family and friends.

Li Jie is the kind of sincere and virtuous woman. After marriage, she took good care of Lao Guo and Lao Guo's family. Besides being busy in the company, I was considerate of Lao Guo at home and did all the housework.

Lao Guo claimed that he also wanted to make progress, proposed to be the general manager of Li Jie Company, and asked Li Jie to abdicate, saying that some friends laughed at him for living by his wife.

Li Jie knew she was incompetent, but in order to take care of Lao Guo's so-called self-esteem and face, she agreed.

Sister Li personally wrote her inaugural speech and announced that she would return to her family and take care of the company in the future. Lao Guo, who knows nothing, depends on Li Jie for everything. Li Jie had to teach him management and business by hand, but he still didn't learn much. Li Jie has to do many things by himself.

After that, Lao Guo put his unemployed brothers and sisters in important positions in the company. Sister Li said that they can't do these jobs, and this arrangement will hit the old employees who work hard at ordinary times.

Lao Guo's reason is that his company is the most credible only by himself.

Li Jie knows that she can't do it, but she also knows that if she doesn't promise, not only Guo will make trouble, but her in-laws will also be involved, and now she will offend a large family. On second thought, I chose to give in.

Although there is Li Jie behind the company, because Lao Guo and his brother and sister-in-law don't always listen to Li Jie, they take the initiative to make many decisions and give orders around employees, and many old employees have resigned. The marketing situation of this company was so bad that it finally had to close down.

Fortunately, Li Jie stayed at home and didn't do nothing. With a keen business sense, she found new business opportunities. This time, she chose to do it with junior high school, which was managed by her junior high school. She didn't go to work herself and didn't tell Lao Guo, so Li Jie is still very well off financially.

03

Lao Guo, who has nothing to do, either goes out to drink or plays mahjong and does nothing at home. He also said that he was in a bad mood. Sister Li made a lot of connections through her mother's brother and found him a stable job.

With this stable job, Lao Guo finally stopped saying that he was in a bad mood and seemed to get along well with his colleagues. As soon as she got off work, she invited her male and female colleagues to eat and drink together. Of course, he bought all the money.

Before long, all my colleagues knew that Lao Guo used to be the boss and was full of energy. Because I was too tired and made money, I found this job to change my lifestyle.

Many female colleagues talk privately: Do you think Lao Guo took more than 400,000 yuan in that car? Look at his little handbag. This is Coach's bag. It's worth 1000 yuan. ...

Lao Guo pretended not to hear these comments, but he was proud. He invited more guests. Of course, the salary is not enough for him to spend. He doesn't know how much he can spend a month. He only knows that when he has no money, he wants it from his sister Li, and her living expenses are arranged by her. After he got married, he didn't even buy an underwear.

It didn't take long for everyone to know that Lao Guo's wife was a housewife, or the kind of housewife who couldn't sell it. Many female colleagues began to "sympathize" with Lao Guo. In the long run, two of them hooked up with Lao Guo.

Before long, Li Jie knew about it, but Lao Guo refused to admit it. Li Jie put their check-in records in the hotel in front of him. He said that he was just playing with his colleagues and his heart was always at home.

Looking at the sleeping child and thinking that she still has feelings for Lao Guo, Li Jie once again chose to forgive under Lao Guo's repeated assurances.

Li Jie's tolerance and concession to Lao Guo did not impress and cherish Lao Guo, but made him feel that Li Jie was so easy to coax. This silly woman has come to make money for herself all her life. Behind Li Jie, it is more and more luxurious, but it is also more hidden.

Li Jie actually knows something more or less, but it seems that he still cares about himself when he thinks that he has restrained himself inexplicably. He will go home when he is tired of playing, and he will turn a blind eye to Lao Guo's infidelity.

04

A few years ago, the wind of private lending and financing was very strong, and Lao Guo was ready to move. Sister Li reminded him that this is not allowed, and it is common for people to lose their money.

He refused to listen to Li Jie. In order to help his mistress make money, he involved himself in the storm of private lending. In the end, his mistress made a lot of money, while he was heavily in debt. In order to pay off his debts, he secretly took Li Jie's ID card and took Xiao San to the bank to borrow money.

Li Jie didn't know until he was sued by another mistress, saying that he didn't repay the interest according to the contract and demanded to seal up their property.

At this moment, Li Jie realized how stupid he was.

Li Jie finally couldn't bear it. No matter whether Lao Guo is crying, making trouble or hanging herself, Li Jie is determined to end this painful marriage.

My 15-year-old daughter supports Li Jie's divorce, and her daughter knows what Lao Guo has done.

Li Jie also knows that her repeated tolerance and accommodation to Lao Guo will not bring happiness to her family at all. If she continues to give in to Lao Guo without a bottom line, she will only make herself and her daughter into deeper pain.

Lao Guo thinks that Li Jie's divorce is just to scare him. Seeing that Li Jie was serious, she quickly offered to share half of the property, and even boasted: "I can't live on my salary without property." Even if I am divorced, you will be responsible for giving me a pension! "

Sister Li smiled angrily and asked him, "What property do you want to divide? Because of you, the house was seized by the court. Do you have any other property? When I tell you to go out clean, you have to go out naked, even the underwear is my money. "

Nevertheless, Li Jie paid off most of his debts when he divorced.

05

When friends talk about Li Jie's marriage, they all curse Lao Guo love rat for having such a good wife and not cherishing such a good life.

Although I hate Lao Guo for hurting Sister Li like this, I think Sister Li is partly responsible for this failed marriage.

Imagine if Sister Li had set the bottom line at the beginning of her marriage and stopped the bad demands in time, maybe she wouldn't have become such a scum, and their marriage might be another situation.

When Lao Guo first touched Li Jie's bottom line, if Li Jie can give a clear bottom line principle, there will be two results:

One is that Lao Guo turns back and does not step on Li Jie's bottom line, and the days will go on well;

The other is that Lao Guo ignored Li Jie's bottom line, Li Jie stopped the loss in time, and the two divorced, but in that case, Li Jie and the children would not be hurt by feelings and money as they are now.

Why would I think that? From the psychological point of view, people's needs can be divided into five categories from low to high: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, respect needs and self-realization needs.

After meeting the most basic survival needs, people will rise to the realization of self-worth, that is, the highest level of self-realization needs.

In marriage, women blindly choose bottomless submission and tolerance. They lose the need for self-realization and only make themselves more humble in the eyes of men.

A man will think that no matter how presumptuous, humiliating and fooling around he is, women will choose to forgive him. He doesn't meet any bottom line and principles with women, so he doesn't need to be responsible and loyal to women.

He even thinks he is the king of women, and women should give everything for him without complaint. Everything he did was right.

In marriage, women should never mistakenly think that their forbearance and sacrifice are great and will make men moved and cherished. As everyone knows, your bottomless accommodation and concession will only move you, only make men hurt you more and more, and compromise will not change the happiness of marriage at all.

Women must have a clear bottom line in marriage. Once a man approaches your bottom line, there are only two choices for him: either go back and never cross the line, or leave here and never come back. Only in this way can women have good feelings and marriages.