Joke: Why do women always live longer than men?

1, the wolf is coming! The pigsty is a mess! Mother pig said: "pig, you close the door, pig, you close the window, pig, stop looking, you are the most beautiful!" " You seduce the old wolf! "2, tired of going to work, queued for promotion, saying that I was drunk after eating, and my lover was not in place. He doesn't want to wake up in the morning and sleep at night. It doesn't matter to me. The most important thing is to wish you happiness and recharge your batteries. It's my fault that I made you angry yesterday. How about giving you a chance to vent your anger on me now? Take out a hundred-dollar bill, fold it in half and then fold it in half, and then throw it at me:) What animals and plants are like chickens? Three ... two ... one ... time is up, fool, so you can't guess. The answer is trees and horses. Because digital cameras (trees and horses are like chickens)! Oh, four. Work summary in 2009, work plan in 2007-there is a problem: delicious. Reason: The wine tastes good. Sum up experience: drinking is good. Rectification measures: drink well. Hard work: drink good wine. 5. Colleagues go to dinner together. One of them came late: waiter, did you see where our colleague went? Oh, they are on the second floor. " What floor is the second floor? ""the second floor ... 6. If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad! 7. Your sudden loss of love made me lose myself. I am immersed in an unforgettable moment in my life. I can't let you go. I shouted: Stop thief! 8. In the history class, when the teacher reviewed The Rule of Zhenguan, the process asked, "Water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn it." A student signed back loudly: "You can also cook porridge". The audience laughed their heads off. 9. "Driving a Mercedes-Benz and riding a fine horse is really chic; Traveling around the world with beautiful couples, Wan Li is picturesque! Tell stories in a famous car and return home dressed in gold; Parents are happy, and friends boast that they have Mercedes-Benz! " 10, one million hours, reach out and ask the sky. I don't know if my salary can go up. Is my dream far away? I want to get rich by speculating in stocks, but I'm afraid I'll lose all my money. Things are so difficult. 1 1, "ACTS: I want to hear your story. Teacher: In retrospect, I punched Nanshan Nursing Home and kicked Beihai Kindergarten. I put it under one meter and stamped my feet in the morgue. Nobody dares to gasp! To you who failed in college: this is a professional course, which contains high credits and good quality. One subject is the best in the past five subjects, and it is easy to fail in one breath. It is better to fail professional subjects! " 12, my husband is reading the evening paper. After reading an article entitled "Women live longer than men", he asked his wife, "I really don't know why men leave first?" The wife said, "Someone has to stay and collect the clothes!" " 13, a turtle walked through a pile of shit, leaving only three footprints on it. Why? Because it held its nose with one hand! ! ! 14, friend, are you okay? Every time I open your name, I immediately try my best to resist your strong impulse, but ...... alas! Throwing caution to the wind anyway, isn't it 1 cent? We are not stingy people! 15, nearsighted squatting beside a pile of cow dung, asking with his nose that it seems to be cow dung. I tried it with my hand and said it should be cow dung. So myopia jumped up happily. Fortunately, he didn't step on 16. "A match was crowded together to keep warm, and firecrackers saw it and said," Hey, brother, I also ... I heard a bang before I finished. The match said, "Brother, you don't have to dig out your heart to keep warm. Drunk: I don't know, I just arrived! " 18, one night, my husband was awakened by his wife's dream talk. He asked the reason, and his wife replied, "Dear, I dreamed of a prince charming, and slowly approached me!" " Husband: Wife, sometimes the Tang Priest also rides a white horse and drags a BMW tractor. Report after discovery: Two cars have exceeded kilometers per hour, and the best one is a tractor, which has been following Mercedes-Benz. Turn on the turn signal and ask for overtaking 19. Mother Hedgehog complains: My child's clothes often leak. Mother centipede sighed. I only have two specialty stores, and even half of the children's shoes haven't arrived yet. 20. I was born useful, but I don't understand! One day, Wang Di woke up from a dream, got up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, and understood after eating the cake (reading the third word of every sentence is a surprise). Baby, you have the face of an angel, the figure of a devil, and even the posture of farting is so beautiful. But in public, can you control the rhythm? 2 1, Lao Wang likes watching boxing. Every time he sees someone hitting his opponent in the mouth, he cheers loudly. When he saw it, he asked, are you a boxing coach? Oh, no, I'm: dentistry. 22. "Dad, what will happen if you put mp4 in the water?" "That's broken." "Dad, you are so smart. I didn't know until I did the experiment. How do you know? " 23. A person travels in a foreign country. He asked for a taxi full of luggage. The driver told him that he wanted 7 yuan and his luggage was free. He said quickly, please take my baggage to the railway station. Twenty-four people were playing mahjong, but they brought five people. Do you know why? One: Aunt Yu married a daughter yesterday! Cha Yue: What does my aunt have to do with my smoking? Answer: If so, what does my smoking have to do with you? 26. You are wanted! The following are your crimes: being too kind to your friends, not loyal enough, innocent and caring, and being sentenced by this court! Punish you for being my friend for life, and you have no appeal = leave the court. O(∩27), "Sausage (township head) said," Cold air is coming, pickles (now) are cold, and shrimp (villagers) are going to make zongzi (seeds). In order to keep the temperature of zongzi (seeds), remember to pack several more layers ~ ""20 ""Did you see it? " Xiao Ming added.