Who has a humorous joke? Tell me.

-1\ A male teacher said angrily to a girl who was sleeping in class: I'm so tired up there, don't move down there! If you don't cooperate, you won't even respond If you have nothing in your stomach in the future, don't blame the teacher! As a result, the whole class fainted

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1. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and roared: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost! -

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2. Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the line. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal! -

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3. One day, I met a foreign guest. He said, I'm Hong, and the foreign guest said, I'm Fang Qi! -

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Zaizai was repaired by his father. He went to his mother to complain: "Mom, what would you do if someone hit your son?" Mom: "I want to avenge his son!" " "Son" ... "-

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An old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast must be heard every day. One day at dinner, I asked my family, "I have a question." Do you know where it is? It rains almost every day there. " -

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6. A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours! -

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7. My friends and I went to the top of Mount Tai to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed to the sky and said, "I see it!" " "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance came out with trousers and scolded: "See it when you see it!" " What are you yelling about? " -

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel with wings, but I still want to suck blood. -

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse. -

4. When a boy secretly loves a girl, he has the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes-

The girl who "hit it off" answered and asked several times, and the answer was the same-

The boy was very discouraged and said, "Can you have a flat head?" . -

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One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~-

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, stop chasing-

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7. After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then her hand asked her if she was cold or warm. She refused to let go for a long time and kindly asked, What's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto"—

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8. A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the master was not at home, a ventilator knocked at the door. -

Parrot: Who is it? -

A: Gas converter-

Parrot: Who is it? -

A: Gas converter-

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There was a man lying in front of his master's house, and the master wondered, who is this-

Inside the door: gas converter-

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9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down and smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~-

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10. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two. -

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1 1. A professor is giving a lecture on the spot: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "-

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12. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. At this time, another man, Mr. B, rushed in and just squatted down, and he was very happy to pull up. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you. You are so happy." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "-

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13. A gentleman was practicing riding a bike when a pedestrian came up to him. A gentleman panicked and shouted, "Stop! Stop! " The pedestrians stopped in a daze. But a gentleman rode so badly that he knocked down a pedestrian. Pedestrians got up and got angry: "You told me to stop! You have a good aim, don't you! " -

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14. Beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother and the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I also want to say hello to her. "Honey, where's mom?" "Go to Huaguoshan!" "..." "Honey, what are you doing?" "Aunt, you are so funny. I'm not calling you! " -

My colleague's son, 4 years old. A classic saying: "When I was young ..."-

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15. There was an accident on the expressway-the tortoise trampled the cow to death. The police are investigating the cause of the accident and say, snail: How did the tortoise hit you? The lying cow in plaster recalled sadly: I don't remember, he was too fast! -

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16. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair, one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ..........

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17. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty embryo. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful." -

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18. A couple gave birth to a little boy after contraceptive failure. The child clenched his fist and kept laughing. The nurse broke his fist and found birth control pills in it. Then the little boy said, "You two want to kill me, it's not that easy, hahahaha ..."-

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19. Two people went to the mountain to play. A man accidentally slipped off a cliff. His companion shouted anxiously, "how are you, brother?" Are you all right? " I only heard the person who fell answer "I don't know, I'm still falling ~ ~ ~"—

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20. I also thought of a cyclist who didn't hold the handlebar and put his hands on his chest. A traffic policeman saw it and said, Good palms! The man replied, hello, comrades! -

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22. The two brothers were chased by the tiger, and the younger brother really couldn't run, so he said, "Brother, let's stop running and kill this beast." The eldest brother said, "Don't talk nonsense, I can't run, just run past you." -

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23. Noodles were beaten by steamed bread. I asked my cousin for instant noodles for revenge. When I saw the bean bag, the instant noodles were beaten to pieces. When I came back, I said to the noodles, don't worry, I beat the shit out of it. -

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24. After getting on the bus, a fashionable woman took out a paper towel and wiped it for a while. She was just about to sit down and fart. A man next to her smiled and said, "I'm Kao, so fucking clean, I have to blow it after I wipe it"—

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Penguins are bored, so they want to go to the North Pole to play with polar bears-

Walking, walking for many years, almost there, suddenly remembered that the gas at home was not turned off properly-

So I went back, walked for many years, turned off the gas, started over, walked for many years-

I finally came to the door of the polar bear and knocked on the door:-

-Polar bear! Come out and play! -

Polar bear:-

-Stop playing. -

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26. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……-

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27. A judge squinted and tried three suspects, A, B and C, in one day.

The judge said to A, "Did you steal it?" -

A: "No"

The judge was furious: "I didn't ask you." -

"I didn't say anything either," C said.