Funny new year message

1, it's almost the end of the month, and I know that you should be broke again, so I'll send you a pair of couplets. Part I: I earned it hard. Part II: I'm happy and careless, spending it casually: I'll talk about it if I have no money. I wish you no hard work in making money and no worries in spending money. Hehe, Happy New Year! 2. At the beginning of life, I was kind in nature, just for work and money. My wallet is bulging, and I can't wait for it. I tremble when he hits me. Making money is like climbing into the sky, spending money is like falling into the abyss. I wish my friends, make a lot of money, millions, endless. Hehe, Happy New Year! 3. Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. " Hehe, Happy New Year! A man and a woman are talking on the phone. M: Is there any hope for our relationship? Woman: A button on the mobile phone. The man was overjoyed: Is it 9? Woman: No, it's speakerphone. Hehe, Happy New Year! 5. When I was born, I was a work of art; At school, I am an experiment; I was a victim when I was in college; When I just graduated, I was a semi-finished product; After marriage, I am a replica; In middle age, I was a consumer product; When I get old, I will be an insurance product. Hehe, Happy New Year! 6. The Tang Priest and his party finally met the Tathagata Buddha after 81 difficulties. Tathagata asked, "Tathagata asked," Do you have a PSP? "Tang Priest and Master" ... "Tathagata:" So how did you entertain yourself on the road? Tang Priest and Master: "The monster has escalated again." ... "Ha ha, happy New Year! 7. Ms. Wang is a self-motivated lady After her daughter was in high school, she asked her husband, Mr. Li, to take care of her daughter's study and life full-time. Ms. Wang said: Your daughter can't get into the famous brand, so you should take full responsibility. I will consider divorcing you. As a result, when his daughter took the college entrance examination, Mr. Li was nervous and insomnia every day! Hehe, Happy New Year! 8. I didn't hear from you after the Chinese New Year, and I was very distressed. It hurts to miss you. I once cut off my pulse with a banana. Hit your head with eggs; Noodles. But none of them are dead. Please eat a meal and die. Hehe, Happy New Year! 9. The most embarrassing expression when making money:? A: Did you succeed? Did you really do it? )! ! ! (make a fortune). The most thunderous mood when spending money: … (save a little), … (save a little more), … (save a little more). I wish you road to riches, always "embarrassed" happiness, ways to spend money and ways to save money. Hehe, Happy New Year! 10, one day I took the bus to call my classmates, and the phone was almost ready, just about to arrive at the station. In an instant, I said "I'll get off here" to my classmates and shouted "Bye-bye, I'll hang up" to the driver. Hehe, Happy New Year! 1 1. There are three brothers at home. Older people are called hooligans, second are called kitchen knives, and third are called troubles. One day, the third one was lost, and the boss took the second one to the police. When I arrived at the police station, the boss said, "I am a rogue. I brought a kitchen knife to make trouble today. "Ha ha, happy New Year! 12. One day, my boyfriend asked his girlfriend: What would you do if I cheated? Girlfriend A: I turn a blind eye ... My boyfriend just wanted to sigh his girlfriend's tolerance, but she spoke: Then aim and shoot you ... Hehe, happy New Year! 13, the landlord played well, indicating that he has brains; Playing well shows clear thinking; Fighting carefully shows that you understand the economy; Fighting is not afraid of bombing; If you win, you will be silent, indicating that you are shrewd; Do not surrender if you lose; Explain that the sense of competition is strong! Hehe, Happy New Year! 14, a five-year-old boy kissed a four-year-old girl! The girl is very excited, and seriously, I am already your man. Will you be responsible for me? The boy patted the girl on the shoulder and said, Don't worry! We are not three years old anymore. Hehe, Happy New Year! 15, the flowers that should be spent, the flowers that should be bought, the shopping is cool, and the money is gone. I regret it now. It's no use. Send a text message to remind you, don't spend money too blindly, it's really not easy to make money, so you'd better use it reasonably. Finally, I wish you the god of wealth can't stop rolling. Hehe, Happy New Year!