Joke! ! Classic! Come on!

The father warned his son, "How dare you smoke behind my back? I will kill you with a stick ... "

The son said timidly, "Don't hit me. I promise you that from now on, I won't smoke behind your back. "

Learn English.

Child: "Dad, is English difficult to learn?"

Dad: "Of course it's difficult at first, but it's easy to learn later."

Child: "Then I will learn from behind!" " "

Is ink expensive?

"Ink is very expensive? Dad. "

"No, why do you think it is expensive?"

"My mother was angry because I spilled ink on the carpet."

Stay away from sweetness

Mom: "The big chimney in this factory is really annoying. It emits black smoke all day and makes me breathless. "

Xiaohong: "Never mind, I'll get you Dad's smoking cessation candy."

Some people don't die.

Father: "People will die when they are old."

Son: "A person will not die."

Father: "Who?"

Son: "Grandma."

Father: "Why?"

Son: "Mom said she was' old and immortal'."

How should I get up?

Xiao Pang's problem is that he likes to sleep late. Mother bought a small alarm clock and said to him, "In the future, you will get up when you hear the alarm clock ring in the morning, so I don't have to rush you every day."

From then on, at half past six every morning, Xiao Pang got up as soon as the bell rang.

One day, my mother forgot to wind the alarm clock. The next day, Xiao Pang slept until half past seven and didn't get up. His mother urged him: "Xiao Pang, get up quickly, it's getting late!" " "

Xiao pang: "I woke up long ago!" " "

Mother was very angry and asked him, "Why don't you get up when you wake up?"

Xiao Pang said, "Didn't you wake me up when I heard the alarm clock go off?" How can I get up if the bell doesn't ring? "

Father's exhortation

Father: "Remember, when talking to others, never tell the truth."

Son: "Remember. Well, if someone asks me who said this, what should I say? "

Father: "..."

Who is older?

Grandson: "Grandpa, who is older, two or three years old?"

Grandpa: "Big Three, of course!" "

Grandson: "Since there are three big ones, why is the third sister younger than the second?"

What about the remaining two corners?

Son: "Dad, give me fifty cents."

Father: "What for?"

Son: "I want to buy a book."

Father: "What book costs fifty cents?"

Son: "It's a triangle."

Father: "What about the other two corners?"

What is the cost?

Father taught his son to read. When he learned the word "heaven", in order to deepen the child's impression, he asked:

"What's that on your head?"

The son thought for a moment and said, "Hair".

"What about the hair?"

The roof.

"What about the roof?"

"Tile"

Father was angry and struck the table: "Idiot, take a good look. What else is on it? "

The son cried in horror, "There are ... birds flying ..."