Jokes or famous sayings related to Chinese characters

The classic joke of Hemingway, a foreigner, learning Chinese and speaking Chinese.

Snacks ye food stall

In the evening 1 1: 30, I will be online. Hemingway suddenly called and asked me to have dinner. Afraid I won't go, drive to pick me up. Come on! I can't hide! Let's go

"You don't come to pick up, I drive myself. Where to go? "

"How about the supper stand?"

"ha! Are you tired of eating in the restaurant? "

"Hey hey!"

I have an appointment to meet at the beach snack stand in Hong Kong. Hemingway is the representative of large American multinational companies in China, and he treats people well. I worked in China for a year and studied Chinese with me for a year. He has a good sense of language and has a special ability in learning languages. He has been to many countries and learned many "foreign languages". Although he is not proficient in everything, he can at least use it. He thinks Chinese is the most difficult language to learn in the world. While learning Chinese, he also played many classic jokes. Although I stumbled, I learned very well.

We arrived almost at the same time, and I chose a cleaner and better food stall.

Who knows that just entering the door, Hemingway shouted in fluent Chinese:

"Boss! Is the urine fried rice delicious? "

You scared me! I quickly stopped him:

"What? ..... What do you mean? " (what? What do you mean? )

After waiting for a while, the shopkeeper looked at Hemingway intently. All the guests looked this way. Others said:

"A foreigner has come to make trouble!" "Hit him!"

Looking at everyone's puzzled eyes, Hemingway ran to the door in three steps and two steps, carried in a big brand and put it in the hall. Write:

Urine.

fried rice

Everyone froze for five seconds, then burst into laughter.

Chinese teaching materials

Hemingway's self-selected textbook for learning Chinese is a Chinese textbook published by BBC. The advertising words on the title page of the book are extremely inflammatory, claiming that it is especially suitable for tourists and businessmen to learn Chinese quickly, and people without Chinese foundation can "speak at first sight".

I can't find a Chinese character in the whole book. It's all in English and Chinese Pinyin, and it's an illiterate Chinese textbook. It is said that this book is specially prepared for those who give up learning Chinese characters as difficult as gobbledygook and only intend to learn some spoken Chinese. Because I don't read Chinese characters at all, I just read and spell.

Hemingway proudly showed off his knowledge of Chinese as soon as he met the translator: "You cry (good) Miss Liu, and I hate the singer (very happy) for throwing you to death (knowing you)."

Hemingway cherishes the opportunity to talk with China people, and jokes emerge one after another. For example, he told his secretary, "My wife (suit) is in her wallet." In order to discuss the agreement, we arranged to meet in my office at eight o'clock. "I was worried that the road was too busy this morning and I became a monk at seven o'clock." His good friend returned to China, so Hemingway often said, "A burning man (a good man) flew away (went back)." Every time he went to the stairs, Hemingway would bow slightly and act like a typical gentleman, saying, "Please be careful to be naked (stairs), dirty, dirty together (downstairs).

Wangwen business

Hemingway: "You China people are really hardworking people."

Secretary: "What?"

Hemingway: "Whenever I pass the street in the morning, I can often see a sign on the roadside saying' Morning' to remind people who pass by to work not to be late."

out-of-control

Hemingway took part in the "Mandarin Speech Contest", and his opening remarks were as follows: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have to apologize to you first. I can't speak Mandarin well. I have the same relationship with your language as I do with my wife. I love it very much, but I can't control it. "

Braised donkey

When Hemingway first set foot in a restaurant in China, he called steamed stuffed bun "newspaper". The waitress really patiently explained, "Newspapers are sold across the street, and daily newspapers and evening papers are readily available."

I want to eat jiaozi, but it's a pity that the "sedan chair" comes out of my mouth, and the waitress falls into the clouds.

To the waitress's bewilderment and even anger, he ordered "braised pork" and claimed that it was his favorite dish in China. Seeing the waitress look unhappy or even angry, Hemingway quickly showed her the menu. The waitress realized that he wanted to eat "braised ribs".

Very good, even better.

Shortly after Hemingway came to China, he could only speak two Chinese words: "very good" and "better".

One day, a clerk said, "I want to take two weeks off."

Hemingway said, "Very good."

The servant said, "Because my father is dead."

Hemingway said, "Better."

It's nothing.

Hemingway held a staff meeting: "People in China call things' things', such as desks and chairs, televisions and so on. But living animals are not called things, such as insects, birds, beasts, people, etc. , so you and they are not things, and I am naturally not things! "

simple meal

At a banquet held for Hemingway, the Chinese representative politely told him that when a light meal was prepared for him tonight, the foreign man looked at the table full of delicacies and said in surprise, "If this is a light meal, it is really a shit meal."

I lost my appetite all night.

Chinese is great.

Hemingway said to the translator, "Your China is wonderful, especially in writing. For example:

"China defeated the United States" means that China won;

China defeated the United States, which means that China won.

In a word, victory will always belong to you. "

Beautiful everywhere.

Hemingway didn't know the China people's "where! Where! " This is a self-deprecating word. Once when he attended a wedding, he politely praised the bride as beautiful, and the groom on the side said on behalf of the bride, "Where! Where! " Unexpectedly, this foreign man was shocked! Unexpectedly, general praise is not enough for China people, and examples are needed, so I used blunt Chinese: "Hair, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose and mouth are all beautiful!" As a result, the audience burst into laughter

Mathematical Chinese

Hemingway came to China and named himself Zhang, a China. For a foreigner, it is really not easy to write a complicated word "Zhang"-and it is cursive.

Surprised, I couldn't help asking him. He said, "Nothing. I just wrote the number three and thirteen quarters in one stroke. "

Dizzy!

The new meaning of the word "kiss"

Hemingway studied Chinese. While studying the word "kiss", Hemingway asked a question: "Kiss means" don't "and" mouth ". How to kiss without moving your mouth? "

Someone thought for a moment and smiled and replied, "China people are more reserved, and' not talking' means' not talking'.

Can you talk when you kiss? "

Wei what

Hemingway's wife came to China and took a China name Wei. One day, the couple met a friend for a walk. After a while, they exchanged greetings.

Friend: "What's your wife's name?"

Hemingway: "The surname is Wei."

Friend: "Wei what?"

Hemingway: "Why? Why is the surname Wei? "

English-Chinese dictionary

For a time, Hemingway held a thick English-Chinese dictionary all day, took Chinese words from the dictionary, and then learned and used them.

I met him on the tree-lined road in the industrial park at dusk, and I went forward to say hello: "Hello! Hemingway, take a walk. "

He smiled and said, "Yes, I am wandering here."

I held back my laughter and asked with interest, "Do you know the meaning of wandering?"

He replied solemnly, "Of course, wandering is walking back and forth in one place."

Hemingway likes to introduce himself to everyone: "I am a rustic person." Every time I make everyone laugh their heads off. Hemingway himself was surprised, because he saw in the dictionary that "countryman" translated into Chinese means "rustic person". He just wanted to tell China people that they are farmers themselves, and he didn't understand why it would lead to such a comedy effect.

Hemingway's habit of mechanically copying dictionary terms once really embarrassed him. I don't know which dictionary he found out that the English translation of the word "nonsense" has double meanings, one is useless nonsense, and the other is polite, so Hemingway boldly used his new term. A representative of China participated in the negotiation project. After the negotiation, he praised Hemingway's high level of Chinese. Hemingway quickly learned the modesty of China people and replied, "You flatter me too much. It's all nonsense. " The representative of China walked away pale at once.

Chinese zodiac

The folk Chinese zodiac in China is also a topic of great interest to westerners. Everyone wants to know what animal he belongs to. Unfortunately, "genus" and "belonging to" Hemingway are often confused.

One day he excitedly said to the secretary girl, "You are a pig."

For Hemingway, it is too difficult to describe the sex of animals with Chinese word "female" or "male", because in English, both male and female can be used to describe people or animals.

One night, Hemingway took her dog for a walk in the street. After seeing me, he proudly introduced to me, "This is my bitch."

helmet

Besides driving, Hemingway usually likes riding a motorcycle, which is convenient. I said there are too many cars on the road, so be careful. He replied: Never mind, I will wear a condom. He means "helmet".

Metric words

Quantifiers in Chinese also make Hemingway nervous. Once he flaunted himself as a "hero" and asked him what he meant. He said, "A hero is a thin, tall and good-looking person." He explained that "one" naturally means long and straight, and "hero" should naturally be a good-looking man.

Another time he told me that he saw "a puppy" on the road. I immediately corrected that it should be a puppy, but he seriously refuted that it was really a puppy, because the puppy had been run over by a car, and the squashed puppy naturally became a puppy, just like a piece of paper and a photo.

In addition, for example, what "a pair of pants", Hemingway plausibly defended, because pants have two legs, and the two are a pair, so that's right. Even arguing with China people, insisting that it should be "a set of ass", which sounds funny.

All kinds of "juice"

Once, I tested Hemingway's idiom ability: "Rack one's brains".

The result is:

Rack one's brains, milk, juice and soup.

Ha! "You really racked your brains and didn't come up with' racking your brains'."

difficult position

Although there are many jokes that make me laugh, it is gratifying to see foreigners trying to learn the culture and language of China. So I encouraged, "Your Chinese level has improved rapidly." He loudly responded to my China courtesy: "jam, jam (flatter me, flatter me)".

In a scenic spot in the north, a southerner shouted "My child, my child fell into the lake ~ ~". A passer-by immediately jumped into the lake and got only one shoe.

When Marley went to see a doctor, the doctor called him Manet.

The chemist called him Ma Yin.

Call him Ma Bing when taking medicine.

What is even more ridiculous is that during the injection, the nurse exclaimed, "Why is this patient called horse meat?"

Do what you see.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence was' nonsense' just now, and now it is said by accident."

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is of course mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that his master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

Have a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Afraid that the manager wouldn't agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "Take it when you have the chance, or don't take it." The manager received the telegram and thought it was an "opportunity" to close the deal. He immediately called back: "Seize the opportunity."

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified to fly. The salesman took out his manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said, "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

Rural conference

At a meeting in the village, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. The meeting is over now. The host said: "Sausage paste melon for pickles." (Now, the head of the township will speak. The township head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, today's meal.

Ancient poetry reflecting the homophonic characteristics of Chinese characters

Two apes cut down trees in the deep mountain, and the little monkey dared to look (sentence)

How does the old beast solve the problem (hoof)-solve the problem?

Lotus root and lotus root, (why do I get a couple)

Apricots don't need plums (fortunately, they don't need media)

A dog gnaws at a river (monk) bone-Su Shi

Poems on Dongpo of Flowing Water (corpse)-Fo Yin

Su Shi-the first spring of Xiangyang family.

Go beyond it (Fish) Celebrate the Good Man-Fo Yin.

He Danshang (monk) on Shiguta

Embroidered in front of the beauty hall (scholar)

Confucius was born on the weekend of the week.

Light dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong (light dance: lightning; Hanzhong: the sky)

Lantern cage lights, paper (orange) shells used to be just windproof.

Drum drum, tangerine peel can't knock half (summer)

Lotus (pity) son is bitter in heart.

Pear-shaped (separated) intra-abdominal acid in children

A joke about homophonic features of Chinese characters

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said, "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

Rural conference

At a meeting in the village, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. The meeting is over now. The host said: "Sausage paste melon for pickles." (Now, the head of the township will speak. The township head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, today's meal.

Two-part allegorical saying reflecting homophonic features of Chinese characters

Mother's Sisters-Suspicious (menstruation)

The crib on the stage-No (Bucheng)

The whip on the stage-overweight (fake horse)

Fire in Kannonji-Miao (Temple Disaster)

Monkey Sun sits in the golden hall-unlike Ren (a man).

Junshouxing Shooting-Same tune (gun)

The birthday girl plays the pipa-a cliche (playing)

Wheat straw fire-blowing economizer

Horse racing in the alley-topic (hoof)

The charm of drought worships hag-the best (essence)

Damn bamboo shoots outside the garden-nephew (student)

Men don't beat their wives-it's a blessing (husband and wife)

A scholar writes poetry-he has two hands (the first one).

Bald man takes off his hat-the first name (Ming)

It's just right for a girl from He's family to give it to Zheng Jiazheng (Zheng Heshi)

Abdominal rowing-expert (navigation)

Measuring Rice with a Turtle Cover —— What Sound (L)

It's sad to pull the beard-modesty (pulling the beard) is excessive (crossing the river)

Ring the bell and pull it into the air-fantasy (ring)

Catch bees and eat honey-Tian (sweet) is shameless (stinging)

200 yuan peanuts-you have to refute (peel)

Peach in both hands-reasonable (gift)

Buy camels at Huguo Temple-There is no such thing (city)

Zanthoxylum bungeanum is caught in the rice crisis (rice)

On the homophonic characteristics of Chinese characters in couplets

1. Lotus (lotus seed) has a bitter heart and pear (liver) has a sour stomach.

2. Living in a pagoda, watching Kong Ming (Zhuge Liang), but resenting Jiang Wei (Jiang Wei), I find it difficult to travel (Lu Bu).

3. The bird is in the cage and the heart is in the nest (Cao Cao). Hate Guan Yu (Guan Yu) instead of Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei)

4. In the two-boat race, rowing speed (Lu Su) is not as fast as sailing (climbing).

5. A hundred schools of thought contend that Di Qing (Di Qing) is more difficult than Xiaohe (Xiao He).

6. You get lotus roots from lotus roots, but if you have apricots, you don't need plums or media.

7. Confucius was born in Zhou (Zhou), and dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong.

8. The history of the pen is lingering, although it is not famous; Hong En is powerful, don't try to serve the country and become an enemy!

Shi Kefa, Hong Chengchou.