Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - How to write a letter to your girlfriend
How to write a letter to your girlfriend
Write a letter to your girlfriend Fan Wenyi.
Dear:
On Valentine's Day, you asked me what was good for you. I don't remember when I was driving the crane. After thinking for two days, I finally thought of the crane.
I got a scholarship before I met you, and I made up the exam after I met you. Before you know me, you make up the exam, and after you know me, you get a scholarship.
Second, I endure the shame of making others laugh and wash your clothes.
Three apples, one for you, two apples, and I'll give you the big one.
Four, eat a fish, I let you eat big body, I eat fish head.
You are so ugly, I call you beautiful. I am so handsome, you call me ugly.
6. Go out to spend money, and you can only eat carrots when you come back. (Of course, you can also eat shark fin yourself if you save money. I didn't have a girlfriend before I met you. Before you met me, you had two boyfriends (a high school and a junior high school). )
Eight, when you are angry, I let you be a punching bag. When I am angry, I take it out on myself.
You can kiss me anytime. If you allow me, I want to kiss you.
You often hit me, but I never hit you.
Once you asked me what would happen to me if you fell in love with another man. I said I would kill that man. Let me ask you, what will happen if I fall in love with another woman? You said you were going to castrate me.
I bought you clothes from 200 yuan, but I only lied to you, 50 yuan. You bought me a watch from 30 yuan and tricked me into asking for a 300 yuan.
Thirteen, I washed your socks n times and never lost one for you. When I was sick, you only washed two pairs of socks for me, and one person lost one pair.
14. I broke your earphone. I bought a new one to compensate you. You lost my bike without even saying you were sorry.
Fifteen, once I get sick, I lose two pounds. Once I get sick, you will gain two pounds instead (you come to the dormitory with me and eat all my snacks).
I don't think you are short, but you think I am tall.
Seventeen, you come to my house, I sleep on the sofa, I go to your house, or I sleep on the sofa.
Eighteen, my mother was so kind to you,
It's not good for me at all.
Nineteen, that time I went to an open-air concert, you rode on my head and watched it with relish. I was pinned down by you, crying in the crowd.
Twenty, my dog was born, and I will give you the most beautiful one. You gave me your dying goldfish and hurt me? ~ in two days, they will die.
I remember your birthday every year, but you still don't know when.
I'll tell you again today1August 29th, 980, just like your favorite Nicholas Tse.
I haven't thought of anything else. I'll let you know when I think of it.
Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called early to say that she would come home at night to celebrate my birthday and give me a surprise! Hear the good news! I worked hard today and ran a dozen customers! Back to the company. It is three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only one miserable dish and one soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach was growling, so he had to order a big plate of fried three beans with meat and a big pot of radish soup to eat! Unexpectedly, after work, my stomach is like the engine of a cross-country jeep! -The intense piston movement started! In a flash, puffs of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to a place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly in embarrassment, but immediately it became a rapid-fire puff! My stomach is so swollen! Just then, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home, and asked me to go home quickly. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see my embarrassment! ?
On the way home, I deliberately tried to fart a lot. Almost home, my stomach feels much better. I think there should be no more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looks a little excited. She shouted. Dear, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you. ?
Before entering the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth and said that she would give me a surprise! He took me to a chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I want to fart again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfold and made me swear! Then I ran to the other room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, put all my weight on one leg and let my fart out. This fart not only rings, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it hard to get rid of the bad smell. Just when my mood improved, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and the smell is even worse this time. In order not to suffocate myself, I fanned the chair cushion with my arm, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible. When everything is about to return to normal, another fart can't wait to come. So I stood up, bent down, pursed my ass and leaned back! Let it out. This fart is really first-class, even the newspaper behind it blows to the ground?
I listened to my girlfriend's voice in the other room, and I was afraid to open the blindfold because I had to keep my promise not to peek. I just kept farting in the dark, in order to quickly expel all the gas in my stomach without making the room worse! I unbuttoned my trousers, and my underwear fell below my stomach, revealing my ass. I fumbled to open the door of the balcony behind me, almost extending my whole ass to the balcony, and began to fart wildly? , ah! Much better! After that, I danced and fanned the room with a cushion, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly? In this way, in the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the mat. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants and arranged my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to give me an elegant smile.
When she approached, I had a satisfied smile and warm eyes on my face. My girlfriend first apologized for taking so long to call me, and then asked me if I had secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend took off the cloth that covered my eyes and said to me, surprise! My girlfriend insisted that I bring them to see you today. They say you are very graceful and handsome in the photo! Here! You see, the five people sitting at the table are my good sisters, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! ? At this time, I was extremely shocked and horrified to find that there were a lot of girls sitting on the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to this birthday party that surprised me very much.
Now, each of them looks at me with an indescribable expression on his face?
XXX
Date, year and month
Write a letter to your girlfriend Fan.
Ting:
It's been over a year. How are you?
I dreamed of attending your wedding today. When I woke up from extreme pain and panic, I knew that a year had been wasted. I can't be like others? Time kills everything and forgets everything? . On the contrary, I miss you more and more. Every time I hate you more, I love you more; Forget you more, miss you more.
Ting, I really love you. Did you hear that? How many times have I woken up from my dream, calling your name, catching your smile and tasting your lips. But there is only endless night, loneliness and tears around.
What a heartbreaking pain it is.
I have a lot to say to you, but how can I say it? I lost my love easily, yes, easily. My false self-esteem made me lose my confidence, and my anger made me lose my mind. Why didn't I calm down at that moment? Maybe something unpleasant happened to you at that time. Why don't I comfort you? What can't be tolerated and understood about the person you really love?
But ting, do you understand? I am willing to give everything for you, my feelings, my life and my freedom.
You are a pure girl that many people like, like your nature, your innocence, your beauty and your gentleness; Your shallow smile is not wrong with anyone, and you are not kind to anyone. Between everyone's hope and despair, you walk alone. Your beauty has been integrated into my life, and your laughter, your crying, your joy and your sadness have become all of me before you know it. I can't help myself, how many times I want to forget you, and even burned all the letters and photos. But how can I forget everything I have? How many times I involuntarily walked into No.3 Middle School, where I vowed never to go in again, and sneaked into the familiar window to find the familiar figure. I hope she suddenly opens the window and yells at me. Why don't you come up? But only the stars are smiling at me coldly, just like the heavy rain laughing at Fang Hongjian. Tears ran down my cheeks, wet my face and frozen my heart.
Ting, do you still like me? I am not tall, but I am gentle; I am not handsome, but I am infatuated.
Will you laugh at me when I suddenly say that after all this time? But I don't think about anything, I'm not afraid of anything, I just want to say to you loudly (believe I'm serious): Ting, I have always liked you, and I love you! Love You! ! Love You! ! ! Marry me, we are not only predestined friends, but also involved. I will give you happiness, happiness. No matter how old you are, no matter what you will become in the future, I will love you and make you the happiest woman! ?
Ting, do you really like him? Every time you mention him in front of me, you say you are good to him. My heart is broken. I just need a knife to cut people. Knowing that you have another boyfriend, the earth seems to have stopped turning, and my soul seems to be dead. Maybe after this, I will be completely calm. Among the girlfriends introduced by others in the future, I can no longer find the feeling of falling in love. It seems that I am completing a task and don't even want to touch their hands. Ting, I don't know how much he loves you. I want you to think about how much I love you. Do you love me or not? Do you love me or not?
Ting, I'm so tired. I don't want to hate you anymore. I hate you just to forget you. But I can't forget you because I love you. I hope you can forgive me, understand me and comfort me. Actually, I gave you everything before we broke up, but you didn't understand. I don't regret my love and hate for you at all, really. Because I have always loved you, really: I love you very much. ......
If there is another chance, I am willing to give up everything and marry you. If you are determined to marry someone else, please tell me to my face. Don't be afraid of my sadness.
XXX
Date, year and month
Write a letter to your girlfriend Fan Wensan.
Dear:
It's late at night, and I'm still sitting in front of the computer writing to you. I always have a lot to say to you these days, but my thoughts about you have disturbed all my thoughts. I don't know what to say or how to say it. To tell the truth, I am very happy these days, and I have never had it in my life! Really baby, I haven't really felt happy for a long time. I don't remember what it feels like to be happy.
I am ambivalent. I don't know if I should write to you. I lift my pen and put it down. Yesterday, I drank wine, although I couldn't. I'm drunk because of you. Drink to drown your sorrows, and sorrow is even more worrying. I can't forget you. I can't let you go. I can't live without you. Without you, I have nothing. Do you know that?/You know what? I cried. Is this the weakest performance? Will you laugh at me? Do I like you? Know my tiredness? It seems to be late autumn now. I'm so stupid. I can't stop thinking about you on such a night. I think I should go to bed, but your voice is ringing in my ears.
For you, why do I always feel that I have lost it before I have it? I feel very helpless now. I have a lot to say to you. I hid it carefully. Do I really really want to have a special fixed position in your heart? Many times I hope that time will stand still. At the moment when you have me, I won't let you leave me for any reason and go to other places to find new stories. After all, this is not a myth, and the ticking of the clock clearly reminds me.
Maybe you will never understand my heart. I keep my promise. As long as I can do it, I will do it successfully. What I told you is true. What I pursue is true love, lasting forever, not three minutes of blood. This is eternity and the will of everyone with a conscience. Yes, I understand very clearly. From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the woman I had been looking for all my life. I tell myself clearly and clearly that I will be with you until the end of my life. I love you so much that you can't escape this heavy yearning. Tears streaming down my face, I choked out my deep feelings, but I also complained about my unprotected love with regret, which made you drown again and again, tried to escape again and again, and made you free again! I assure you. Take the blood dripping from my heart as an oath until I learn the way to love you. I finally know the way to love you, but I accepted it without any regrets. As long as you are happy, as long as you are happy, that's enough. Only by winning your love can my life be brilliant. There is really no way to replace your feelings with one sentence. Although I know the pain of lovesickness, I am willing to bear this wonderful pain. Yes, you have many choices, but I believe in myself! Because no one will love you more than me!
A person suddenly feels very tired and longs for love and being loved. I hope that when the next winter comes, someone will accompany me to keep warm, and I hope that I can have a small family of my own in the near future. My lover and I will spend ordinary and warm days and nights together under simple or comfortable eaves.
I have long forgotten the feeling of kissing you. Your lips are a pair of wings, mine is another pair. Two birds used to fly separately, but later they flew to a place to nest. Now that I think about it, maybe this is called? Fate? Or? Fate? All right.
In fact, love is a rather lonely thing, just like a cigarette between your fingers. Except for the moment of burning, where does it come from? It is an unknown couple. Waiting for a finger to pick it up, and the place where it goes is empty and disappears, just like the death of life, it is still lonely at that moment.
I miss you. I can't help thinking about you. I played the music very loudly. I want music around me. I'm not that lonely. I want to miss you in music. In this way, I will think more thoroughly. Why? Why? Why did I meet you? I am really useless. Now, my brain is blank. I don't remember anything. I want to drink. I want to get drunk. I don't want to cry. .
I told you a story, but listen carefully. . !
Yu and Yan have been lovers for more than two years, and their relationship has been progressing smoothly, perhaps because Yu is too good or Yan is too beautiful. People who know them all envy a match made in heaven, as if they had existed for each other since they were born. Perhaps all this developed too perfectly, and eventually attracted the envy of God; In the third year of their relationship, Ermeng came: Yu was hit by a car on the way to buy Yan a birthday present?
In the hospital, Yan stayed in front of Yu's hospital bed every day, praying to the sky from early morning until sunset. A week has passed, a month has passed? Feather didn't get better, and Yan's eyes were bloodshot, but her prayers didn't stop. I don't know how long it took another night. Yan had a strange dream. She dreamed that a man with wings said to her:
? Do you want him to wake up?
? Of course, whatever the cost. ?
? Whatever the cost.
? what's up
? Ok, if you are asked to be a butterfly for three years, will you?
? Yes, I want it. I'll do anything as long as he wakes up! ? Yan said firmly.
So, there is a white butterfly in the world, but a lovely girl is missing?
The next day, Yu woke up strangely, and just opened his hazy eyes, he was eager to find a familiar figure, but the result was disappointing. In order to comfort him, others told him that Yan had left him and married someone else, but this was ridiculous in his heart, because he knew that Yan only loved him, and he frantically looked around for traces of Yan, day after day, year after year. He has gradually become accustomed to the fact that a white butterfly flies from his chest to his ear every day in winter and summer, slaps him with wings as thin as cicadas when it is hot, and dances for him when it is sad?
In more than 1000 days and nights, I never stopped thinking about Yan, but the hope of finding Yan seems increasingly slim?
Butterfly's dream day has finally arrived. As the dreamer said, three years later, she got everything again. So she put on his favorite clothes and rushed to his house, shouting Yu's name all the way.
But this is a doomed tragedy. Kind Yan doesn't know that this day is the most miserable day in her life.
At the moment she opened the door, a stunning scene appeared in front of her eyes: Feather was wearing a dress and happily hugged a beautiful girl in a pink wedding dress. Feather didn't notice Yan's arrival because there were many people? God, why? Is this really what I look forward to day and night, and have been deeply in love with my feathers? Why don't you wait for me for a day? Why? Tears can't hide the helplessness and desolation in her eyes. Yan turned and walked out of the door, like an umbrella abandoned on a sunny day.
But the thought of feather's happy expression at that time seemed to find some comfort in Yan's heart. After all, the person she loves no longer belongs to her, so Yan once again found an angel who changed her life in her dream and said to him:
? There is nothing left for me in this world. Can I ask you one more thing?
? Well, go ahead. I think I'll try my best to help you. ?
? Will you turn me back into a butterfly? I don't want to leave him. It's my best way to stay with him and not let him know?
? elegant
Then, the white butterfly returned to feather, fanned him with wings as thin as cicadas when it was hot, and danced for him in the air when it was sad?
? Feather, as long as I can be with you, it is the greatest happiness in my life. ? There is a faint sound in the wind, swaying intermittently in the air?
A person quietly and constantly remembers the past, constantly remembering those moments of flying, and re-appreciating the beauty of the past. Yes, only memories will make everything better. I like aftertaste, because it can give people a kind of happiness and a kind of beautiful enjoyment. How I want to repeat the beautiful and romantic time in high school again. ...
For me, the best way to express my love for you is to miss you. Missing is a disease, yes, it is a kind of acacia ... which often makes people feel the pain and helplessness of love.
I really want to go to your place for the winter vacation. I want to migrate like a Hao Han bird. They also need a kind of warmth and fly to the south to resist the cold. Yes, as long as everyone gives a little love, the whole world will become a beautiful world, and the world will become beautiful and warm! Isn't it?
These are some of my psychological words, which are my heartfelt wishes. Don't take it personally! -I haven't written an article for a long time, and I have no literary talent. Let's make do! I wish you happiness every day. ...
Someone who always loves you and cares about you.
Date, year and month
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