English jokes with translation.

"Your honor, I want to draw your attention to how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He came to new york a week ago and hardly knew the way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English. "

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

Chinese translation

"Mr. Judge, how unfair it is for my client to be accused of stealing. He just came to new york a week ago and hardly knows the way. Besides, he can only speak a few English words. "

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

2

A husband proved to his wife that women talk more than men and showed her a study. The study showed that men only use 15000 words every day on average, while women use 30000 words every day. She thought for a moment and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

He said, "What?"

The husband showed his wife the results of a survey in order to prove to her that women are more verbose than men. Research shows that men use 15000 words every day on average, while women use 30000 words every day.

The wife thought for a moment and said that women talk twice as much as men every day because they have to repeat what they have already said.

He asked, "What?"

4、

"Tom, what's wrong with your brother?" Asked the mother in the kitchen. "He is crying."

"Oh, nothing, Mom," Tom replied. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I don't give it to him at all. "

"But has he finished his cake?"

"yes." Tom said. "When I helped him finish it, he also cried."

"Tom, what's wrong with your brother?" Mom asked in the kitchen. "He is crying."

"Never mind, Mom," Tom replied. "I'm eating my cake. He cried because I didn't give him food. "

"Has he finished his own?"

"yes." "I helped him finish eating, and he cried."

2009-6-7

A man said to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

Friends said, "If I guess right, will you give me one?"

The first man said, "if you guess right, I'll give them all to you!" "

Passerby A said to Passerby B, "Guess how many pence I have in my pocket?"

Passerby B said, "I guessed right. Can I have one? "

Passerby A said, "You guessed it, I'll give it to you both!" "

make faces

Ms Smith found one of her students making faces at other students on the playground, so she stopped to gently reprimand the child. The Sunday school teacher smiled sweetly and said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made a face, my face would freeze and stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "well, Ms. Smith, you can't say that no one warned you."

Miss Smith found one of her students making faces at others on the playground, so she gently scolded him.

The Sunday school teacher smiled sweetly and said, "Bobby, when I was young, I was told that if I made faces, my face would be stiff and ugly forever."

Bobby looked up at the teacher and said, "Miss Smith, don't say no one warned you."

2009-6-3

A man took his friend to visit his grandmother.

While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them up.

When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts."

She said, "Yes, since I lost my false teeth, I have to suck up the chocolate."

A man took a friend to visit his grandmother.

While he was chatting with his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all.

When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts."

As a result, my grandmother said, "Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I have to suck the chocolate off the outer layer of peanut beans. "